Inner Child Exercises --- Everyone contribute!

Originally Posted by sound

Like you have reacted to my comment just kidding ... we are all full of good advice for others haha

Of course I reacted, you asked for an explanation, I reacted by answering myself. It wasn't an angry or explosive reaction though was it? Unless of course it was perceived that way.

Originally Posted by sound

I will ask again, what you mean by 'as normal' Charlie, in case you have overlooked my question in my other post ...

Why do you insist on picking apart my words? Ok, so normal was not the best choice of word, but I'm pretty sure you understood what my angle on it was, so why make something out of nothing? I'm not going to be super careful everytime I'm post something. I try to let it flow otherwise I'll get nowhere.

Originally Posted by Humm

Get used to it.

Yes maybe I should

[Silver]

In my world (!) everyone's an artist. Seriously. My ex - sigh, he would always put himself down and say no, he can't do art, even though he wanted so much to be able to paint. Thanks to his evil folks, it's a wonder he can walk straight - even my therapist told me so. My ideas are 'in there' - I used to sketch portraits when a teen - they were very realistic-looking and feedback was always very positive - at a night school adult course, the model bought mine for eight bucks and we were friends for a very long time afterwards. She herself made decorative pictures, bookmarks, plates using real live flowers from her garden. Me and another girl at school would be put into competition to see who drew the better horse - she owned a horse and I was so envious!

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SQ btw, I'd love to know more about your 'baby'.

The point I'm trying to make is that, to be completely free and expressive, to have no limitations in how we think and act, to be childlike at heart, we need to lose our inhibitions. We have inhibitions in the world, generally because we're stepping on eggshells worrying about what other people say and think about us, and for fear we will upset someone.

That fear is quite understandable because it is so easy to upset someone, given how quickly people tend to react over nothing.

So, if we want to be able to be fully expressive, we need to learn to stop reacting negatively and allow people to be free in what they say

Originally Posted by Charliemcsnarly

The point I'm trying to make is that, to be completely free and expressive, to have no limitations in how we think and act, to be childlike at heart, we need to lose our inhibitions. We have inhibitions in the world, generally because we're stepping on eggshells worrying about what other people say and think about us, and for fear we will upset someone.

That fear is quite understandable because it is so easy to upset someone, given how quickly people tend to react over nothing.

So, if we want to be able to be fully expressive, we need to learn to stop reacting negatively and allow people to be free in what they say

Great summary.

It is a problem exactly because in our expression there often are other people who are upset by it - even in daily life - even right in this thread.

There are those who want complete psychic isolation from others - and are willing to impose their own expectations over everyone else to get it - to feel 'safe'.

It is quite a pickle.

[sound]

My mother is a beautiful, loving mother. She is very meek and unassuming ... if someone asked me to describe what grace was to me, I would show them a picture and/or take them to meet my mother.

There was a time when i would not feel ok to post those kind words directly after other people had expressed the difficulties they experience/d with their mums, but i can see beyond the reasons for not doing that now ... the memories which surround my father are still locked in, and I am not ready to explore them yet, especially on an open forum ...

Back when I was a teen-child, probably for a period of about 3-4 years, i experienced incredible embarrassment, and was often ashamed of my mum, because she is a very simplistic person who didn't dress very smartly, and she always looked worn out and 'plain' ... and i could never rely on her not to cramp my style in front of my peers, by saying something 'too' basic , which gave my friends a little more insight into the truth of our family life and the hardship we experienced financially ... I faced a dilemma because I still recognised her wonderful qualities as a human being at the same time. She was/is so consistent, and natural, with a patience like no other i have ever come across ... unlike what others have shared here today, it was me who would sometimes try to impose change on her, or criticize her in round about ways, and ever so gently tell her how wonderful all my friends mums were for reasons that had absolutely no bearing on being a good person/parent ... anyway thats a long time ago now ... we have always been very close, and can laugh about it together ... I live next door to her now as she is going blind ...

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I'm touched by your story, sound. Beautiful share about your mom.

[sound]

Originally Posted by Charliemcsnarly

So, if we want to be able to be fully expressive, we need to learn to stop reacting negatively and allow people to be free in what they say

I feel that is what happened anyway ... all parties including Catchild and Xan and you and me and whoever else there be ... in my humble opinion, Catchild didnt overreact, she simply responded according to how the words affected her at the time ... in the moment, like ch'n do, in one sense ... I dont pick your words apart Charlie, but if that is how you are interpreting my interaction with you, I can (reluctantly) stop talking to you if you like ... I used to think i knew what 'as normal' was till I found out that only existed inside my own head ...

Originally Posted by sound

My mother is a beautiful, loving mother. She is very meek and unassuming ... if someone asked me to describe what grace was to me, I would show them a picture and/or take them to meet my mother.

There was a time when i would not feel ok to post those kind words directly after other people had expressed the difficulties they experience/d with their mums, but i can see beyond the reasons for not doing that now ... the memories which surround my father are still locked in, and I am not ready to explore them yet, especially on an open forum ...

Back when I was a teen-child, probably for a period of about 3-4 years, i experienced incredible embarrassment, and was often ashamed of my mum, because she is a very simplistic person who didn't dress very smartly, and she always looked worn out and 'plain' ... and i could never rely on her not to cramp my style in front of my peers, by saying something 'too' basic , which gave my friends a little more insight into the truth of our family life and the hardship we experienced financially ... I faced a dilemma because I still recognised her wonderful qualities as a human being at the same time. She was/is so consistent, and natural, with a patience like no other i have ever come across ... unlike what others have shared here today, it was me who would sometimes try to impose change on her, or criticize her in round about ways, and ever so gently tell her how wonderful all my friends mums were for reasons that had absolutely no bearing on being a good person/parent ... anyway thats a long time ago now ... we have always been very close, and can laugh about it together ... I live next door to her now as she is going blind ...

My first impression from reading this is a reminder of the variety of everyone's lot in life. We all have our own joys, our own sorrows, our own setbacks and our own accomplishments. It all seems so random, but I liken it to a 'divine' fairness - one never knows what one will get, or in what measure.

Consistency - oh dear! That is a quality that never hobbled my dear mother, I can tell you! My step father was pretty old school authoritarian and all that, but in perfect honesty I can say that the consistency he brought to the house was a god-send, and that's how I honestly felt about it at the time.

So sorry about your mum. My father passed away a few years ago. She wore him out if you ask me, though the official cause was lung cancer (but that too is a whole other can o' worms). It is good that you can have that open and understanding relationship - very precious, that. It is heartwarming how you have learned to value her so.

Originally Posted by sound

I feel that is what happened anyway ... all parties including Catchild and Xan and you and me and whoever else there be ... in my humble opinion, Catchild didnt overreact, she simply responded according to how the words affected her at the time ... in the moment, like ch'n do, in one sense ... I dont pick your words apart Charlie, but if that is how you are interpreting my interaction with you, I can (reluctantly) stop talking to you if you like ... I used to think i knew what 'as normal' was till I found out that only existed inside my own head ...

Good points Sound.

I feel we can say what we want - though at times we 'catch it' from people who wish we would speak otherwise.

In a way, it very much is a control issue, IMO.