I'm stunned; tf is really gone...

I can't even believe how rejected I feel right now. My ego is dying a very slow death. Tf is going through some troubles with his girlfriend and I piled on him and now he just has no tolerance for me. How am I going to do this? I am trying to get in touch with my guides and my higher self, but I still can't be sure of what they're telling me to do. How do I proceed? Earlier I tried to explain my horrible behavior (yet again) and now he doesn't seem to believe that I am not a crazy, mean person. I think he might actually really dislike me now. He is a total people pleaser so for him to get so mad and not even care how he treated me is not like him. I'm not saying I don't blame him for how he treated me, because I have been a total nag lately, but I think he's the type who doesn't like to leave things icky. Maybe I'm the lucky one who gets this treatment. Man oh man! This has never happened (except for maybe with a boyfriend many years ago) to me. No one ever goes away thinking I'm the freak. My ego can't handle the thought that he thinks so poorly of me. Wow, I have a long way to go!

First of all, I'm sorry you are in such distress.

When I have bad moments with my soul connection, I often see that I am supposed to step back and do work on myself spiritually. Situations with him always open my eyes to my own lack. Perhaps, you are going through the same.

I think the enormity of the whole soul connection makes us a little buggy at times as we are trying to deal with it the best that we can. Often, we do and say things from our ego instead of stepping back, letting things unravel as they will or simply letting for the time being. For me, I am a control freak and very impatient and I need answers NOW! This gets me in trouble more often than not.

Originally Posted by soulful

First of all, I'm sorry you are in such distress.

When I have bad moments with my soul connection, I often see that I am supposed to step back and do work on myself spiritually. Situations with him always open my eyes to my own lack. Perhaps, you are going through the same.

I think the enormity of the whole soul connection makes us a little buggy at times as we are trying to deal with it the best that we can. Often, we do and say things from our ego instead of stepping back, letting things unravel as they will or simply letting for the time being. For me, I am a control freak and very impatient and I need answers NOW! This gets me in trouble more often than not.

Well said. I agree with this. We are meant to step back and allow things to unravel on their own, cause they will when we are fully focusing on ourselves. It has happend a few times to me.

Originally Posted by ksjm33

I can't even believe how rejected I feel right now. My ego is dying a very slow death. Tf is going through some troubles with his girlfriend and I piled on him and now he just has no tolerance for me. How am I going to do this? I am trying to get in touch with my guides and my higher self, but I still can't be sure of what they're telling me to do. How do I proceed? Earlier I tried to explain my horrible behavior (yet again) and now he doesn't seem to believe that I am not a crazy, mean person. I think he might actually really dislike me now. He is a total people pleaser so for him to get so mad and not even care how he treated me is not like him. I'm not saying I don't blame him for how he treated me, because I have been a total nag lately, but I think he's the type who doesn't like to leave things icky. Maybe I'm the lucky one who gets this treatment. Man oh man! This has never happened (except for maybe with a boyfriend many years ago) to me. No one ever goes away thinking I'm the freak. My ego can't handle the thought that he thinks so poorly of me. Wow, I have a long way to go!

You're married and he has a girlfriend and your wondering why there's drama? Give him some space and time. If he truly loves you TF or not he'll come around again and if he doesn't truly love you than what is there really to lose. In the meantime maybe you should take a hard look at your marriage and decide what is missing from it and if remaining in a relationship that isn't whole is fair to either you or your husband. This is coming from someone that left a 15yr relationship that seemed "perfect" till I met my so called "TF" 6yrs ago. It actually took getting married before I was able to admit to myself that I wasn't completely happy and needed to do something about it before I set myself up for a lifetime of settling.

[Teal]

I agree give him and you the time you so deserve to attend to your own gardens.

I am sure he doesn't think you are a freak in the way you think. We are all freaks of our own nature. I am a cake freak and proud to be.

Originally Posted by tealtwist

I agree give him and you the time you so deserve to attend to your own gardens.

I am sure he doesn't think you are a freak in the way you think. We are all freaks of our own nature. I am a cake freak and proud to be.

Speaking from my own experience when I met my TF both of us were involved in preexisting relationships. I was 8yrs into mine and she was 5yrs into hers with her relationship being her FIRST. I think there was a great deal of fear on both are parts that the other person wouldn't choose us over the person they were currently involved with AND that if they did they'd only end up leave us after the dust cleared. When we last saw each other 6yrs ago we both promised to break up with our respective partner and NEITHER of us did. It took her another 3yrs before she finally left her BF on her own (by than we were in no contact so I didn't know) and it took me me another 7 or so (Just filed for divorce after being separated from my wife for a little over a year). My point is when another person is involved in a relationship let alone a serious one I think it's natural for us to really start doubting that they'd ever leave their partner for us especially when they have a long history together or kids. Than if we can overcome the fear that they'd leave their partner for us than we start to fear that they'll leave us just as easily since we don't even have the history to give them a second thought.

When I met my TF I had zero doubt that I loved her and zero doubt that I had never felt so strongly for another soul. That being said I still didn't leave my existing relationship for her since I feared I wasn't worthy of her and that she'd just end up leaving me as soon as I ended my relationship and was no longer a "challenge". I figured it was only infatuation on her part so I turned back to my existing relationship to try and make it stronger figuring something must be missing for me to be tempted by another. That being said even though I didn't leave my relationship there was never a point where I told my TF that I didn't love her anymore or that I wasn't interested in a relationship with her. She made that decision for us.

[Teal]

In my case I met mine before I got involved with the relationship I am in now. I always thought it will pass like the previous crush type things you just develop like for a rock star or actor. But no this dude was different.I knew a time or an opening would come and I would have the spotlight to utter the words to him as I do on the forum.

For me it allowed me to find the passion In the life I live in everyday life. He made it easy(I think that aided his choice not to involve himself) He knew that I would choose to be with my kids and make it work.

Powerful yes in how the mind reads a soul. and seeks out purposes that are so hard.Sometimes you both run because power brought you together but you both recognize that it is not to be just yet. and you make the choice and your brain final sees and a aha coming on. So you are not running away you are running to full fill another power.(I think this was what I was trying to say in another thread about running.)