Question for those with a runner ..

[Kiwigirl11]

Just a quick question ,when your TFs ran ,was it after you had a falling out ,argument or did they run when you thought things were going great between you two ???? Just from reading a few threads on here it seems most the time they run when things are great ,which i find totally weird and sooo different from any normal relationship .

[Quest]

I ran the first time when things were going wonderfully between us and I felt like I was in heaven, but I had to let him go to figure out who I wanted to be with. It took me 1.5 years of denying my heart until I was hurting so much I couldn't take it anymore.
Then there was a bit of running of both of us but in the end, I had really pushed him cause I panicked, and then he ran. So we both ran at different times even though he only ran when the pressure was getting too great and when he sensed that I wasn't ready to let my fiance go emotionally. He left me so that I could connect to my heart and figure out what it is that I really wanted. I can't have them both, so him leaving actually helped me find clarity. I never had it more clear in my mind what I wanted in life until he left me, so it was a gift he gave me by running. I feel we are coming closer to a time of reuniting, hopefully he'll be ready too...

[Kiwigirl11]

Quest i sooo hope he will be ready for you too x :).......I find this whole runner thing quite fasinating ,thats why i asked .....It would make sense if we all ran when the times were bad like most relationships i have had in the past,but obviously these realtionships don't behave the usual way ....My Tf went off facebook twice now and both times we were getting on really well and i thought things were going great in a friend kind of way ,we were joking around etc ....just didn't make sense ,i kept thinking did i say something wrong ....i know i didn't .

Mine ran, both times, when things were absolutely wonderful. The first time, was after we spent an incredible week together. She literally said "this is all too intense, I can't handle it", and left. The second time, was solely through skype chatting... but it went amazingly well, for over a month, then one day she just left and blocked me. She had obviously been getting very attached again, right before that. To this day, our last contact was a very friendly 4 hour long chat.

The first time 20 some years ago he ran when things were pure bliss.......later when we reunited he told me it was because he was frightened because he had never felt that way. This time, we had a spat, but we tended to have alot of miscommunications......recently i realized it was because we were both treating our relationship like a "romantic" one instead of a spiritual one.......it was a lesson i have learned since separation. And, there have been many obstacles this 2nd time around. And if i were to be completely honest i would admit that alot of my behaviour has been like that of a runner as well. I certainly can see the benefit of separation, although it is an extremely difficult stage.

Yup - bliss here too - he said he couldn't have imagined in his life feeling so at one with himself and us ho hum lol I think that's where the soul shock comes in for the OP

I got and still get I'm scared :)

[Kiwigirl11]

Wow like i said before i find this whole thing so fascinating ......For anyone with any doubts about the whole TF thing .....you would only need to read this thread and know that what we are all experiencing is anything but a normal relationship ....thanks for sharing x :)

We both ran at the same time. I told her I loved her, and she denied that... it hurt:( told me we could only be friends, even though our whole relationship wasn't based on friendship and well I loved her way too much. It hurt way too much..lost my mind totally. Then I came running back..sadly that didn't work out either. She knows I'm here for her and Id take the chance in a heartbeat if it was offered..should she ever need me there. I love her still, always will, nothing can break that.. and yeah, I guess it was at a good point in our relationship

Originally Posted by Loving_Soul

Yup - bliss here too - he said he couldn't have imagined in his life feeling so at one with himself and us ho hum lol I think that's where the soul shock comes in for the OP

I got and still get I'm scared :)

Yep, Yep, Yep........and he also said he was afraid he wouldn't be the person he was suppose to be.......irony right.....because he admittedly said he has never been comfortable with anyone else nor has he been himself with them........and its definately where the shock comes from

The poem my TF sent me when we were first together and both so scared about the intensity of what we felt....We didnt even know at that stage what this connection was - i think it describes beautifully the true feelings of the dance...I was going to say running but it describes more than just that....

Like a rollercoaster I'm elevating towards my high...
Adrenaline absorbed, on the edge of my seat I'm anxious to reach the peak.
Endorphins screaming and pores pouring, the moment freezes....
I feel the tension breathe upon me, face to face with a dangerous high.
I push forth trying to hide the fear I feel inside.
Never satisfied, I always want more - just enough to hit that peak.
This ride never lasts long enough...
It's a devil in disguise robbing me blind with no will to stop yet....
I'm always anticipating another adventurous ride.