the universe IS the greatest scammer

[able12]

Originally Posted by ForgedInFire

A big test that i am failing at. i cant lie about it.. im failing. she chooses to be with an abuser and theres nothing i can do about that. she knows how to live a lie and stay in denial. shes in her 30's and shes lived her entire life in abuse. i have no idea why i ever met her to begin with. im sure theres many others out there that want out of this just as bad as me.

Well, you know what her issue is. She must feel like she deserves the abuse. So rather than feed into that, and accuse her which is a kind of abuse, what I recommend you do, if you are not in total separation, is to offer friendship. That way you can keep the door open and it feels safe to the runner. Mine rejected my offer that we be friends-he wanted, no demanded--really yelled at me, accused me of just want a superficial connection. He pushed, I left.

[ForgedInFire]

Originally Posted by able12

Well, you know what her issue is. She must feel like she deserves the abuse. So rather than feed into that, and accuse her which is a kind of abuse, what I recommend you do, if you are not in total separation, is to offer friendship. That way you can keep the door open and it feels safe to the runner. Mine rejected my offer that we be friends-he wanted, no demanded--really yelled at me, accused me of just want a superficial connection. He pushed, I left.

i wish that was possible. mr sociopath abuser wont "allow" her to and he accesses all her emails, fb, phone and etc like he is the owner of another human being but she doesnt want anything to do with me anyhow.. but is that a surprise when she gets threatened to get left all the time if she was to ever talk to me? shes a SAHM with no job.. so... yea

[able12]

Originally Posted by ForgedInFire

i wish that was possible. mr sociopath abuser wont "allow" her to and he accesses all her emails, fb, phone and etc like he is the owner of another human being but she doesnt want anything to do with me anyhow.. but is that a surprise when she gets threatened to get left all the time if she was to ever talk to me? shes a SAHM with no job.. so... yea

That is sad. Maybe you can let her know through other people or post on your FB page thing she would like and maybe she will see it, and talk to her in your heart that you want her to thrive and be the best version of herself she is. We are all carrying these obstacles to reconnecting--we all have the frustration, the anger, the disappointment, the blame, the sadness. They remain connected to us at a deep level and life goes on--we make the best of it.

[ForgedInFire]

Originally Posted by able12

That is sad. Maybe you can let her know through other people or post on your FB page thing she would like and maybe she will see it, and talk to her in your heart that you want her to thrive and be the best version of herself she is. We are all carrying these obstacles to reconnecting--we all have the frustration, the anger, the disappointment, the blame, the sadness. They remain connected to us at a deep level and life goes on--we make the best of it.

its the hardest thing in my entire life to be dealt this kind of stuff.. but unfortunately.. mr sociopath is a pretty good at isolation he already made sure there is no way she can do anything without him knowing. he tracks her net usage and history as she is only able to use his laptop to get online. theres so many other things that i dotn even care to think of as it goes alot deeper then just him.. she has an abusive mother who lives with them too.

[hineahuone]

I dont know about the Universe scamming, but there are plenty of scammers online trying to get money off gullible people to provide them with answers to how they are feeling. I have been going to psychics for a long time and now my intuition is growing to the point where I dont need anyone else to help me figure it out. If the person is my twin or not, they are certainly a catalyst for my spiritual growth and I am not that bothered about them in the 3D.

[username4this]

ForgedInFire
amazing post, thank you OP this kind of posts are reason I joined this site in the 1st place :)

For me the biggest thing about TF is that we all have same experiences, same phases that this relationship goes thru and I feel like that some of us here should focus on that.

Also it would be nice to know that there are people reading this who are planning on writing blogs or books based on this type of experience as oppose of hypothesizing about the Universe, origin of th TF stuff and offering border line suspicions ways of reconnecting by buying their books :)

So for now I dont care about the Universe, I dont know if there is a thing called Universe in the fist place. Im referencing on Neville Goddard's teachings that there is just our conciseness and nothing else...
(he never wrote about TF, obviously, but still I love reading his works)

Well, maybe Im just mad at the Universe (maybe, I dont know) so Im gonna ignore things they say Universe wants us to do because most of it seams silly to me....

Thing is we all have the same experiences and that is so far
(most of us)
being female chaser, having strong emotional bond with a guy who is running from one reasons or another for so many, there are many obstacles and strange ways of us reconnecting prior to finial split, we feel like we belong together forever and other side is reluctant for one reason or another...

There is more but so far lets talk about this.

Its not a case one person being denied relationship "he just not that into you", or hes using you for the sex, or the money or place to crash :)
There are reports of so many people meeting each other for the 1st time in the strangest ways possible, then being drawn to each other in the strangest movie like ways possible and then the guys being the one that are too reluctant to afraid and the dont even know how to explain that....

If there is a psychological phenomenon explaining that other than "you are obsessed and you are nuts" please let me know :)

I mean obsession can be many many things, destructive bad things and we are not to be put in a same category as a rapists, killers or whatever really bad people who can be categorize as being oppressed and then act on it,

So hear me out, Im saying that the whole all mighty psychology which is a great science for sure, haven't characterize what we felt so far as anything besides being nuts or obsessed .... We are onto something....

Talking about the Universe wants us this and that it makes us look kinda like charlatans and well not so reliable ....

So we should focus on the experience itself as oppose to dwell on how to be oh god "whole and whatnot" ( I asked that, I posted that topic and its just ugh ...)

There is something and we should find some pattern to it :)
(to our madness :))

I feel like people who say its all about feeling love are the closest to the solution.
But it is hard, really really hard. Its not that easy as it seams so.
We love them, we do and we know that but the love Im talking about is kinda bigger (if you can say that than the ordinary love we feel).
I know that TF is not the ordinary love but hear me out once again....

I love my TF I loved him all my life and Ill love him all the time, but most of the time I feel need for him more than love, most of the time I get angry since hes not around with me and I need him I deserve him, he should be my reward (see?), he should be with me, now this moment.

The love of which some of you are speaking is the love that transcendent that, and its really hard to achieve :)
I felt couple of times this kind of love, its hard to explain but you feel like you love him so much you heart wants to burst out of your chest how much you love him and the most important thing you dont feel the need to have him right away (which is the most surprising thing for me)

You just love him and being happy that he exist, I read people say the love their children that way sometimes.... ( I dont know)

Why is this so hard for me to achieve? I dont know I see him as everything I need, as a treat in life as a life's biggest privilege I have to have now! :) I feel like im entitled to his presents in my life, thats how I feel. I want to have him besides me, to love him, to cherish him to hold him in my arms forever (figuratively), I dont want to hurt him or make him sad but I want him to want me 5% of how much I love him ( I know he cant ever want me as much as I want him)...

Does any of this makes any sense? I dont know?

So the keys is love for me but I cant love him that way, Im too selfish to love without wanting him being next to me. I cant change who I am, I wont meditate or find my chakras whatever that is or find my core or whatever that is and whatnot you guys talk about, I cant do that, thats not me.

I dont know what to do, I wont do anything, but still..,

I want to talk about that love I mentioned. I want to talk about our experiences being connected with a person like this and then being disconnected and sad...

I dont care how you gonna call that, I dont care Universe cares about us doing all that, I mean Im what I am, I cant practice Indian and Japanese and South American healing practices at the same time, I cant go on the journey finding my self like in those stupid cheap movies, I cant do that, I wont become hippie or whatever I mean Im a (stupid) blond with a bleached hair and I want to stay me and to have him, why is this so hard
I feel like I become less selfish and more opened but I cant become hippie to get him, there must be some other way...

[username4this]

Originally Posted by taurusnsane

I think the love we feel and send out (its energy) can cure the world. People see the love we have, yes sometimes torn down but still, they dont understand but the love still heals people around us

Even if not reuniting, it still vibrates out. It changes you, then you can change others beliefs or views and then they change...

World needs this.

This post! I love it, I get it.
But still I want to ask you couple questions if I can, please :)
This may sounds silly but please stay with me I need to know answers and Im gonna sound so immature right now :)

Why do we need love? Why do we have to feel love? Love to anybody out there and for our TF?
Im sorry if this sound silly, but I have to see it on writing.

Im starting to think I dont know what love is.
I felt loved by my family I did, I love my TF , but still maybe I dont know what love is... even though I felt like I was loved and that I love others....

In my world friends would often ask me - "how can you love that man that much, he is just a man, he is not even yours nor with you. Have you ever wondered where is your place in his world? Why are you such a doormat? Why would you love without giving his love back? Hes not your kid nor your parents or sibling maybe not even your friend, but you keep saying you love him."
I kid you not, thats how people around me are thinking about what love really is and what is not.

And that way of thinking had an influence of me, it sure did.
I often ask my self the same.
Then I feel like nobody understand that I know he love me underneath this all :) but there are obstacles...

So why should I love him, or anybody out there for that matter.
I dont know how to epxlain this to my self.


How can I achieve to love him unconditional when he is right not with another person (wife), I mean I know I love him but still I also want him in my life ....
would this be a condition "love him but want him in my life"

I know with my soul we are meant to be together
and we will be but Im impatinet and I want him yesterday :)
Is this bad? Is this love?

Is it bad that I never loved anybody the way I love him. I never loved my friends I never had many cosines to begin with nor less to love them
I love my parents but I love them cause they are my parents and I know them lol, otherwise I dont know if I would love them hadn't know them lol ...does this makes any sense?

I never minded nor I would mind of being without any other human being in my life for a period of time, but heeeeee he is never enough I want him all the time... all.the.time.

Is that love? I feel that for 18 years now (just to let you know Im not a kid) so what the heck I feel all those years? and if its not love why dont just goes away? Being in love goes away, passion goes away, friendship goes away but this it wont.... What is it???

Why is love more important or better than hate? Im serous.
Many times I was wondering why dont I kinda make public some things about him just for his dear wife to know things she still (still!!) doesn't know just to poke him, just to poke his soul....

What if that would vindicate my love or my place in his life, will that makes me feel better, feel more alive, feel closer to him than this?
Why should I opt for love? Pure love?
You can say if I dont feel that then you cannot explain to me but please try, you and whoever can, please try to explain to me what is love....

I know people who got into fights with cousins, brothers, sisters or even parents and end up not speaking to them, hating them for the rest of their lives and they all lived for a sure long time ago and they seamed happy....
You know what Im saying... is this love? can love be transformed into hate or despise and person still being happy with that?

Im not saying Im gonna do anything I will regret but Im just trying to understand what is this love you all talking about.
People are getting mad at me irl for talking I love him since they think Im a fool, am I?
Are they stupider than all those people talking about love on TF and slef help and other spiritual sites? I dont know any any more...

I just dont know, sometimes I just dont know why I should opt for love even though most of the time it doesn't seams like a option more like the only way I feel about him...

That quote up its beautiful but it says world need this, needs love, but I dont wanna save the world, Im sorry I cant let my self thinking about me saving the world and whatever I read so many people that are literally nuts that talks that way.

I know you meant metaphorically but still why do world needs my love if it needs lol I need words love to feel back too, where is the world when I need the whole world to love me?

Im sorry Im so lost, didnt want to come back to this forum, but felt bad saw my dear TF, dear dear TF photo having a wacay with his dear dear wife, having fun, taking selfie (just by him but I know shes there) and couldn't bother to answer my message for all those years cause he chose to be angry at me for something I done, all those years ago..
(something his behavior ultimately made me do it back then)

I love him, or at least I use this word love for 18 years so far, but I dont know why I should still love him or what love is :)

At least thanks for reading :)

I dont care how you gonna call that, I dont care Universe cares about us doing all that, I mean Im what I am, I cant practice Indian and Japanese and South American healing practices at the same time, I cant go on the journey finding my self like in those stupid cheap movies, I cant do that, I wont become hippie or whatever I mean Im a (stupid) blond with a bleached hair and I want to stay me and to have him, why is this so hard
I feel like I become less selfish and more opened but I cant become hippie to get him, there must be some other way...

Does he want you? Is he emotionally stimulated by you? If so it shouldn't be too hard unless the pheromones don't match... There are ways. There are spells but be sure you really want him before you go for that. They can be seriously difficult to undo.

???

So why should I love him, or anybody out there for that matter.
I dont know how to epxlain this to my self.

I can. It's because you haven't got him. If you haven't spent a lot of time with someone, lived with them, know how you interpret their acts as good or bad (in your frame) got used to their habits; had to support them in time of real trouble, then you can't be sure you love them. Desire, maybe. Love? Nope.

How can I achieve to love him unconditional when he is right not with another person (wife), I mean I know I love him but still I also want him in my life ....
would this be a condition "love him but want him in my life"

You aren't someone who'd steal someone else's partner, are you? If so, ok, you say you're "no kid" but you really do need to grow up.

What if you broke up his marriage....then discovered you didn't want him after all. Because, let me tell you that if he's shown no interest in you then there's no twin-flamery, no universe, no divine plan but you seem to be scamming yourself somewhat. It's up to you of course but I hope the guy is led forward by common sense, optimising what he has in life and to whom he's dutifully bound.

You see your paradox? You can unconditionally love him now. It matters not one toss if he's married, has or wants children, etc. So the love you profess comes over as self-possessed desire, not unconditional love. I bet if it didn't work out you'd be just as quick to discard him.

....

[username4this]

Originally Posted by Lorelyen

Does he want you? Is he emotionally stimulated by you? If so it shouldn't be too hard unless the pheromones don't match... There are ways. There are spells but be sure you really want him before you go for that. They can be seriously difficult to undo.

???

He? You mean my TF, does he wants me? Im sorry if I dint understand you correctly.
I know my TF always wanted me, but hes biggest and only obstacle was that he is married and really tradition about it.
Now after all those years we are apart Im still sure he wants me, passionately and well you know physically

Im sure he does, there is no doubt in my mind about it.
Im not bragging or blowing my horns or whatever, just know him being all those years and we are taking all THOSE years (a lot) with a same person,
feeling old and basically in the last decade of his life (60s) sure he would like to have me, my presents in his life, my passion in his life... But there are buts :)

He feels obligated and he feels like he should never reconcile with me since he is stubborn, that is his way of feeling in control and being more important than me (in a way by not forgiving me something I done many years ago)

So its is a long story but thats the bottom line :)
About pheromones I dont know since we are not even in touch for a while now :(, sure there were many pheromones and literally sparkles when we got together long time ago :)

What spells :) I really dont know anything about it :)
I know I really want him :)
:)