Need some advice ASAP!!!

[alexa_summer]

So I wasn't quite sure where to post this. But I guess I will start off by saying that I strongly believe that I am either an Empathic or Clairsentient, it seems that I carry some traits from both..I read that some times Empaths can create a strong emotional tie to certain people to the point where they can pretty much sense when they are thinking about you..

When I was a naive 14 year old, I dated an older guy who ended up being my "first" everything. I became extremely emotionally attached..thinking I was "in love" & I didn't even know that much about him...the "relationship" carried on for about two years on & off, give or take. It took a toll on my life basically & after many things that this guy put me through, I attempted suicide many times & developed depression & was on meds & seeing a therapist for a while. Well, I met a guy after all of this mess & experienced what true love actually felt like. I am 22 now & am still with the same guy. I have no connection to my first what so ever & feel nothing towards him. We chat once in a great while on Facebook, but that is all it is, he is a neutral acquaintance to me with a little bit of a history. That is all. But what is weird is that once in a while, out of completely no where, he will pop into my head & I will begin to re-enact in my mind all of the times we had together, & sometimes what he is up to, & while all this is happening I just have this sense of knowlege like I KNOW he is thinking about me at that second.. (he has a life a million miles away in California, with two small kids & a wife, I don't want anything to do with him other than when HE messages ME once in a blue moon, hardly ever) & just about every single time he enters my mind, not even an hour later he will message me on Facebook...is this NOT a coincidence? Sometimes I'll even have explicit, random dreams about him, & then the next day at work or something, I see him, & realize he is in town visiting his family or what have you.

It seems that there is an emotional cord or tie between us, I don't know what it is, but I don't want to have these visions or sensations or dreams about him anymore. I have let go & have NO romantic, or emotional feelings for this man, he is a stranger to me. It has been 6-7 years without him in my life. What the heck is keeping us connected like this? & how can I break the tie? There was never any real love between us, only infatuation, & I feel like the only thing he ever wanted from me was sex, & someone to talk to about certain things once in a while. When we hung out together, all there was, was sex, nothing else. No bonding, no fuzzy "boyfriend, girlfriend" activities. Just words & body motions, maybe for a few hours at a time, I was under a spell because I was young & naive back then, but obviously I have grown up & realized what all it really was. Most of our communication was distant & over instant messaging online. & I recall one of our conversations consisting of psychic abilities, how he sees things & has premonitions..at the time I never really bought into it, because he has always had a few screws loose & is a complete pathological liar, (most people who know him would say the same & wondered why I was even with him) but now I am starting to wonder if what he said about his psychic abilities holds any truth...maybe that is the key to the lock that is tying us together & keeping us there..? I just messaged him on facebook & asked if he feels anything similar to what I feel..no reply yet. But I was wondering if anyone on this forum has any ideas on what exactly this is & how I can understand myself better, as well as this phenomena that keeps occurring in my life...?

You don't need him in your life, why not cut all contact? block him on facebook, it serves no purpose to let him manipulate you.

[loopylucid]

When ya think about this relationship, despite you saying you have no feelings ties now etc, i think its an idea to consider that this isnt what its about, still having feelings for him, but what you do have still and understandably so, is feelings about what you went through with him, being as massive as it was that it ripped you apart to the point of seeking help and going through those terrible experiences trying to find healing for yourself.
I went through an abusive relationship which nearly ended me also, i have exactly the same thing happen after to, so its just an idea that maybe some of it might resonate with you to.
I think that the astounding impact of what we go through, makes us more sensitive to there energy. more as a defence mechanism, like when you walk into a room, see someone who is a stranger but just feel wary.. uncomfortable etc, its almost having that feeling but with someone you know, i kinda view it as spirit giving me the heads up someone is around who i need to be aware of...
I also had to be very honest with myself in things i didnt want to, ultimately i was hurt to the same extent i loved, wether i do or do not feel love towards this person now is irrelevant, its impact is imprinted in my heart, thankfully over time used positively and creating great joy in my life, but its memory serves the purpose of ensuring that happened, as it sounds like it has for you.
But it hurts when these things happen to us, this was over 7 years for me now and im over it, i survived it, i have no feelings for him, i chose to forgive him whilst realising the experience will always hurt when i remember it, or if i see him it will remind me, but thats ok, because its a memory. so if ya dream about him n its all crazy, thats cause it was all crazy probably, its remembering, but it was part of your life, it helped to bring you strength, you sought help, you made yourself a priority again and discovered true love, so in essence i dont think this is about being tied to each other, your experiences tied up, once there experienced there always as one.
No contact would be the ideal scenario tho, it lessens all this, and total honesty within yourself to, as to why you answer his messages or keep intouch atall, its a good time to question what your doing to enable all of this to :)
Your a strong lady to of been through all this and you will find your answers:) blessings Loopylucid

[alexa_summer]

Thanks for your words loopylucid..& I am sorry to hear that you have gone through an abusive relationship & am happy that you made it through..everything you said makes sense..maybe it is all just defense mechanisms..i don't know. But I have had many traumatic events occur through out my teenage years..I used to be best friends with a girl & she jumped me & beat me up for "rumors" she overheard about me..it hurt me that she betrayed me like that & it was almost like I had to start from ground-up once again, building myself up..just like my first relationship..I went through some more psychological trauma, but that was also 6 years ago & I never think about her the same way I do with my ex..I don't sense anything or have vivid dreams about her..so I don't really know. Maybe it just depends on the severity of the trauma in one's life..

I used to have my ex blocked on Facebook...he messaged me after maybe 3 or 4 years of no contact..& just wanted to know where I was with my life, I regurgitated a not-so-nice reply back to him & then I blocked him...maybe about a year later he showed up in my mind & I couldn't get him out no matter what I did..& an hour later he shows up in a car at my work with a girl I used to hang out with in high school..it was odd how it happened..after that I kind of regretted my words to him & felt like it was really immature to hold on to grudges. I unblocked him from Facebook & took a little time to plan out some kind of apology..& i sent it, & he agreed that he did a lot of dumb things in the past & we are on good/neutral terms. I forgave him for everything..& go maybe 6 months at a time with no contact with him, I never message him, he always messages me. I do feel like I have let go of the past that used to haunt me all the time. I don't have troubles sleeping at night anymore... I proceed with my life. I just don't understand how he randomly pops in my head from time to time, when he does, he doesn't go away, he stays there until I go to sleep at night, & the next morning I will wake up to a facebook message from him. It is so weird. & I don't know why I still reply to his messages..even when he was blocked, I still found him in my mind sometimes..I feel like he channels messages to me that we can't say to each other through facebook messaging..

[loopylucid]

Awww hunni all im gonna say is sometimes we think we have no feelings when actually we have just buried them, so there fine and hidden all the time were not reminded ;)
in terms of why him and not the other lady who caused you harm, you gave more to him than her, you gave him your everything, therfor the imprints stronger and more consuming, I doubt very much your level of feeling towards this girl was anywhere as near as much with him.
Im gonna put my neck out on the line here and say maybe you haven't quite closed this as much as you think you have, or maybe you might know you shouldn't feel this way and therfor deny it, maybe you think you've been through therapy etc and should definitely be over it cause that's whats meant to happen right? when you make peace with someone who has hurt you greatly, you unfortunately don't automatically quench any feelings for them, if ever, but we like to think we do, because it would be crazy not to right???!!! oh if only it were that simple!!!
I would probably start by asking myself ok if this connection does exist as I feel it is....why? Whats meant to happen alexa..?
Love n light Loopylucid :)