Divine Awakening on the twin flame path

[bluebird21]

Years ago when I had my first awakening, it culminated in feeling Devotion. Devotion which made me cry. Made me see God in the trees and in the grass. Devotion which made me realize that what I wanted above all else, above being with my beloved, was to serve. To bring God's Love to Earth to the best of my ability. As I write this my eyes well up. I ran from this feeling, this knowing or what I called "The Calling" as a child. I have felt it all my life... something within me calling me.

A part of me feels so deeply unworthy of this Love. Why me? I ask. What have I done to deserve this? Nothing. In fact, I have failed so many times. I have deeply hurt the ones I love. I can not think of a reason why I may be gifted this incredible Love. And yet, here it is. Despite myself.

I feel so overwhelmed. True twin flames indeed are a MIRROR - what our love showed me is always here, always with and within me.

From an emotional and I think awakening,
-Bluebird

[H:O:R:A:C:E]

that is a swell post bluebird21.
thanks for the share.

[Corasan]

Wow, I know what you mean .... happy for you and to see this, thank you.
Now this is confusing me ...
It's the same here ... I have failed so many times. I have deeply hurt the ones I love and made them worry.
Maybe I still do ...
I'm sure you deserve it more than I do ...

Before I clicked Submit Reply, you made me remember my first mirror message.
Happy cried a little, thank you.
I wrote compliments and told her she is strong.
Then she answered, telling me why she isn't strong.
I read it like 10 times and cried every time, then deleted it ...
Now I'm overwhelmed too ... the memory is enough to cry ...

I feel stupid now ...
Of course she deserves it ... I'm an idiot ...
True twin flames indeed are a MIRROR ...

[bluebird21]

You are welcome :)

Thank you for sharing, Corasan. By Love I meant the Love of God. We can not possibly deserve it, for that implies not deserving it is an option. It just IS. ALWAYS. In us, around us, us. <3

[mystical]

I love this. My first awakening was also devotion. It felt good tp know that was here for service to others . But then I disconnected and ran and well.... things have never beem the same. Slowly day the foundations are being rebuilt. I had such faith such hope now all I care for is peace . Serving others left me so drained . This time I will do it for myself not for others.

[bluebird21]

Originally Posted by mystical

I love this. My first awakening was also devotion. It felt good tp know that was here for service to others . But then I disconnected and ran and well.... things have never beem the same. Slowly day the foundations are being rebuilt. I had such faith such hope now all I care for is peace . Serving others left me so drained . This time I will do it for myself not for others.

Me as well, mystical. I ran from my devotion for over 3 years and am just now surrendering to it, to my path. This time, I am making the conscious choice to unlike last time when I was involuntarily burst open. I felt like I fell from Heaven into the depths of neurosis. I went crazy and was so deep in karma. Have you seen the documentary The 5 Gateways? It speaks of how after a Kundalini Rising there is a stage of going through and wrapping up lots of karma. With every awakening, new levels of awareness and new realizations are met. Perhaps your next one is realizing that yourself and other are the same.

[mystical]

No I haven't but im intrigued now. .. same here I too fell from the heavens into the depths of hell. My whole body tired exhausted my brain fried. The universe pushed me so deep but then I felt abandoned but o know they didn't anNdon me my higher self knows it was purely to purge cleanse n release . I chose to walk away from wat I believed was a twin soul. I will never fully recover in this life because I know I still connected to earth. In this life my earthly life I tried integrating the two but I became so ungrounded. In the end i lost faith. I know though it was meant the higher we ascend the deeper the drop when we descend. Its alwats a rise and a fall clearing karma each time. I will get there . In time once this dreaded serpent has done with me and given me my body and my mind back lol