A rather unusual spiritual awakening

[ChiehavaEva]

deleted......

[iamthat]

Perhaps this deleted post symbolises the spiritual awakening to emptiness. We open the thread expecting to see something and instead we find nothing there. Such is the nature of the spiritual journey.

Peace

[JosephineB]

Originally Posted by iamthat

Perhaps this deleted post symbolises the spiritual awakening to emptiness. We open the thread expecting to see something and instead we find nothing there. Such is the nature of the spiritual journey.

Peace

...........

[ChiehavaEva]

It started when I was 6 years old. I used to sleep with my mother aside but one night my mother
had to go for a visit. I was feeling so lonely and could not sleep until a strange voice whispered
me:
"There is nothing to be afraid, I am here to take care of you."
I felt so relaxed and I feeling that someone was always there for me. Since then, the entity kept
contact with me by taking the form of various cartoon characters that had something related to
her appearance, notably dragons and canines. She was there whenever I needed her and she
had a mysterious ability to heal me and predict the future. As I was growing I began breaking up
with her for various reasons, mainly social. I was looking at the sky and sometimes I was
dreaming of escaping my parents' house, like my home was elsewhere. I realized that I was
retaining some of her abilities even when she was not in contact with me, like dreams that were
ending up as real life events. I was able to create live-looking friends in my mind. I was also
notable for the unusual eating, sitting and resting poses and habits. I began developing an
unusual art style on computer and I was feeling like, I was trying to draw something familiar.
One day come that I almost wished I never was in contact with that entity cause I began to get
diagnosed with various mental illnesses, however I rejected any medications cause I knew
something else was the problem. Then I experienced what is called "The dark night of the soul".
I was almost destroyed completely as real life experiences were striking me one after the other
and I could not defend myself, I was alone. One day, the pressure was so high that I had no
choice but to call the mysterious entity again. I told her to take the control or I would destroy
this body. She agreed and continued my life for me while me falling in deep sleep. What was
strange, she had no notable difference in personality and she had no memory gaps. She began
fixing all the faults I had done, she even risked going to my psychiatrist now only to be
diagnosed with Gender Dysphoria. That was normal, my body was male and she was female!
One year later she had almost rebuilt my life and I was able to wake up from sleep. I was able to
draw the figure that I was trying to do for 9 years! I did two personality tests showing unusual
results for a human personality in both. Some people were telling me that I had no human
weaknesses or I have something divine. Then I began having dreams being the creature I had
drawn. One day homesickness grew so strong that I wished to go home so badly, I closed my
eyes with that wish, and when I opened them I was not in this world. I was the creature I drew,
I was able to see the world it was living, I was able to walk. This was the body of the entity I was
connected so many years but I questioned myself, why she was allowing me to use it? I came
back in this world refreshed and happy, the entity was waiting for me saying:
"Don't you realize? We are one! Before you were born I had chosen your body to contain a part
of me instead of a normal soul. You tried to develop like a regular human but you couldn’t cause
you were not! I wished to come to your world to see how it is right now, to help people and
monitor the mental health of the creatures here. I chose you for my mission!"
Surprised I wondered:
Wait? What just happened? How this is possible? If this is real it is the best gift in this world!
It was real cause I realized I had all her abilities and I did not know how to use them. It was also
so nice to be home after several years away. Then we merged into the original single entity.
Since I had still a significant amount of memory loss I did not overestimate myself.
Originally I was only able to recover the years I remember Winter Holidays but hints and other manifestations ended up in self realization and eventually a starseed awakening....

To avoid missunderstandings, i am not mentally ill. Since i had my awakening before knowing what even spirituality is I did not know that this creature was only my higher self, the one i trully was.

[muffin]

Originally Posted by ChiehavaEva

deleted......

Good afternoon ChiehavaEva

Have fun and enjoy, your never alone

Your imagination created the "friend " as a coping mechanism perhaps do to a trauma when you were younger. Please seek professional help because you show signs of potential danger to yourself and especially others .

[ChiehavaEva]

Originally Posted by MAYA EL

Your imagination created the "friend " as a coping mechanism perhaps do to a trauma when you were younger. Please seek professional help because you show signs of potential danger to yourself and especially others .

I never expecting such reply in a spiritual forum. I have no trauma, people around me love for who I am right now. I went to my doctor twice and nothing was diagnosed except Gender Dypshoria. I never got any thoughts to harm people. All I wish is to spread love and kindness. You sure you understood well? The friend was my higher self man.....

Mods, please delete this trash thread....

[Shivani Devi]

Originally Posted by ChiehavaEva

I never expecting such reply in a spiritual forum. I have no trauma, people around me love for who I am right now. I went to my doctor twice and nothing was diagnosed. I never got any thoughts to harm people. All I wish is to spread love and kindness. You sure you understood well? The friend was my higher self man.....

Mods, please delete this trash thread....

Don't be so hasty....this is an opportunity for you to grow stronger!

Oh the many "invisible friends" that I have... visible to me only because there aren't that many out there who believe they even exist.

There are some very rude people out there and unfortunately, some happen to also exist on this "Spiritual Forum" but rest assured, they are few and far between and as you grow on here, you can get an insight into the personalities of others and just like "in real life" (whatever THAT is), you get to choose the dudes you 'hang with' vs the dudes you don't.

Don't be discouraged by the judgmental opinion of one person...or two...or three...or however many the "ignore list' can accommodate. *hint hint*

I am interested in what you have to say...and welcome to the Forums.

[ChiehavaEva]

My friend, i just do not know what to do to thank you for your kind words....

[Shivani Devi]

Originally Posted by ChiehavaEva

My friend, i just do not know what to do to thank you for your kind words....

You just did and I shall read it over a cup of tea.