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[FallingLeaves]

Originally Posted by lemex

So what happens to the people that one was sent to help, the two or one person you were sent to assist don't change. Nothing was mastered.

Of course I have no proof it's suppose to be this way but one "should" be here not only for parents but for every person. It is unfortunately cruel to see one needs to go through experience of agreement to gain clarity one's experience brings. I'm aware in respect to experience clarity of the agreement. It says there are, is experiencing others have no inkling of, it cannot be comprehended because it is far greater then I could choose, having only knowledge of which is empty and unclear. This is me talking and no one listens. People are all parents. Anyway two questions, do you include helping others and is there suppose to be a purpose to the agreement? Do you see you fulfilling a purpose and that the end is all that's ok and justify it all cause right now I know I would not have agreed if I had known what I know now. I guess if one can't deal with one or two people more would be that much harder.

What happens to the parent then?

Since the you now needs help, what happens to you?

There is always a change just by being around and being awake... but sometimes the changes that happen aren't the ones we expect... or we may not be sensitive enough to see what the change is until sometime later. Or maybe the change isn't to appear until much later... doing the accounting then and playing tit for tat with who is learning much during any window we want to look through really doesn't work so well and you just have to take it on faith that life will out in its own time and way.

contrary to popular opinion, I think that 'life' doesn't mean that you have to reach a 'goal' and then things come to an 'end'. I think that ending, is just a definition of death. But people are always embracing it anyway...

When a baby is confronted with life for the first time he doesn't know how to correlate things or what is important, but with time starts making connections. Think about helen keller, lost and alone in her own world with only the endless tapping that meant 'water' to guide her and suddenly she makes the connection between the tapping and the thing and her whole life changes. Part of the journey though is to interact with what is going on, instead of just watching it and trying to understand. Not that watching what is happening is unimportant; only that it is only part of the picture.

And don't think you understanding something or other for other peoples sake is the important part, or even deliberately doing things for others... the important part is the journey you take, the choices you make along the way. Other people can and do learn from that. But nor is there any injunction not to make a 'mistake'... sometimes that is the best thing you can for both yourself and others.

And what you see isn't likely to be unique to you, after all there is never anything new under the sun. Probably there have been, and are, others who see what you do. One question is, how to find them, and then how to communicate with them.

but if you want help, start looking for a guide. I am told, that those who seek do find.

[alcyone]

Originally Posted by Gemcrusader

Thats all there is to it really. The drama, talks about others, with others how ur kids are doing. Like they are a project. Your kids are no project. Lemme tell u that.
You are not the boss over your kids.

Putting attachments on them. Thats all there is to it.

Concepts of how things should be....

That you need to be this...

Fears worries.

Passing them on to your kids.

The kid: a project...

The parent: a projecter.

Worries are selfish. Fake caring.

Im worried about you is a sentence of selfishness to control another out of your own interests.

Im tired of this world.

I wish you the best. Whatever you want....deep down....I sincerely hope you achieve that.

[Pagandell]

Originally Posted by Gemcrusader

Ive had problems with my mother as well. I used to be very close with her untill i met my "twinflame" and realised she was way to close to me, like a surrogate husband i was for her.

People are mentally healthy unless mentally sick people attach. Once a started growing mentally stronger and i let her in again i went completly nuts and weak. Nuts as in being mentally completely destroyed. Im now in a point where they (family) are not completely out of my life but i made them clear im kinda the one who controls when i see them.

Hi Gemcrusader.

Good to hear you are in control of things, it's the only way to be in are sort of situation others wise you do go nuts.

My thing is complicated by the fact I think my mum is Asperger's i only just susd this out recently she is also elderly and this makes things more

[blackraven]

Originally Posted by Gemcrusader

Thats all there is to it really. The drama, talks about others, with others how ur kids are doing. Like they are a project. Your kids are no project. Lemme tell u that.
You are not the boss over your kids.

Putting attachments on them. Thats all there is to it.

Concepts of how things should be....

That you need to be this...

Fears worries.

Passing them on to your kids.

The kid: a project...

The parent: a projecter.

Worries are selfish. Fake caring.

Im worried about you is a sentence of selfishness to control another out of your own interests.

Im tired of this world.

Hi Gemcrusader - I'd like to bring my outlook on this subject to this thread from a parent's perspective. I of course agree with you that a parent doesn't own their child. I do believe, however, that a parent has a lot of responsibilities in raising a child and giving him/her direction in life as well as instilling a core set of values as a loving human being. For example, I always taught my son to just tell the truth in life and treat other people as his equal and as he would want to be treated. Long term, I scrimped and saved so that he could go to a 4 year university. I will admit, early on in his education we told him it is our expectation that he go to college. Early on, that meant nothing to him, but as he entered his teen years he began taking school more seriously so he could go to college. We had this expectation for him not as a requirement, but as a push to achieve employable skills so he could be self-sustained some day. He did go to college and has a good job, owns his own house and is married now.

Some people would feel that a parent should not put any expectations or responsibilities on their offspring. I feel it's a parent's responsibility and duty for bringing them into this world to guide them and give them something to focus on. Too many children grow up in homes where there are parents that don't care about their current or future well-being.

My son is not an extension of myself in any way or an attachment. He is his own person and has entered adulthood with a clear sense of direction. I don't see anything wrong with that. Again, just giving this parent's perspective.

[Gemcrusader]

I do believe in giving kids values, but more as in experiencing whats best for them themselves. Meaning, they can fall on their face or even wrongdo sometime and then hold them a value to whats the best or better action. College, i dont believe much in education. Its a system where individual thinking is not nurtured.

Tx, Flyawaywithme

[shivatar]

Originally Posted by Gemcrusader

Thats all there is to it really. The drama, talks about others, with others how ur kids are doing. Like they are a project. Your kids are no project. Lemme tell u that.
You are not the boss over your kids.

Putting attachments on them. Thats all there is to it.

Concepts of how things should be....

That you need to be this...

Fears worries.

Passing them on to your kids.

The kid: a project...

The parent: a projecter.

Worries are selfish. Fake caring.

Im worried about you is a sentence of selfishness to control another out of your own interests.

Im tired of this world.

It's complicated to be a parent. And none of us are perfect.

I'm sorry to hear that you are exhausted from the pains of this world. I know how terrible it can be at times.

[Gemcrusader]

Well, things are goin better lately. I went trough a lot of pain at one point and realized kindness is not the same as friendlyness. And that there cannot be forgiveness without friendlyness. And if u have absense of friendlyness u become friendless. Lol.