It is happening (probably some weekend) this month, apparently. I am oddly feeling at peace with it. I guess this is his path for now. She isn't a good person and I truly wish she was. I will worry about him.
But somehow, I am feeling this sense of relief. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because I've felt put off by him in recent months - his choices, his actions and behavior. I know that is judgemental of me but, maybe, this is where the sense of relief is coming in.
His choosing her to be his wife tells me that he just is not 'ready' for something 'more' at this time and, you know, maybe I'm not either.
Though I suppose the things I have seen, been told, have felt and have dreamt for the past few years - well, I am not sure what to make of them now and how much of them had to do with me as opposed to her.
It's funny...In a dream years back, his soon-to-be-wife was bragging to me that they would be 'getting married in the fall.' This was at the beginning of their relationship...I figured it might come true because of something else she'd said in the same dream since having done so.
I will also say I am wondering if I'd gone to him last fall when he asked me to, if things would now be different. But I did not and so here we are. It's okay. I will be okay, I don;t have any other choice. Oh I suppose that I'm sad, wistful and a little shocked but these things will pass.
Anyway, I just want to say thank you to those who might recall my last post regarding this same matter and who responded so thoughtfully with much support and guidance. Peace and blessings to you all.
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