Question about TF.s behavior

[leader_of_ten]

Originally posted by Ziusudra

Then, the person needs mental healthy help and care, not dragging a woman into a relationship when he may not have the ability to create a healthy functioning relationship.

I agree with you, wholeheartedly, but if they are mentally ill in the first place, then they might well not be aware of what they are doing.

[Ziusudra]

Originally Posted by leader_of_ten

I agree with you, wholeheartedly, but if they are mentally ill in the first place, then they might well not be aware of what they are doing.

Yes, because of that very fact, they cause immense amount of pain and suffering on their partners.
Hence the reason, we can love those who are mentally ill who are around us but without the expectation to be their lover, spouses, and life partners.
Be their friends, help them when you can w/o sacrificing and loosing yourself into co-dependecy

[leader_of_ten]

Originally posted by Ziusudra

Yes, because of that very fact, they cause immense amount of pain and suffering on their partners.
Hence the reason, we can love those who are mentally ill who are around us but without the expectation to be their lover, spouses, and life partners.
Be their friends, help them when you can w/o sacrificing and loosing yourself into co-dependecy

I agree with you, wholeheartedly.

[Ariaecheflame]

Originally Posted by Ziusudra

Yes, because of that very fact, they cause immense amount of pain and suffering on their partners.
Hence the reason, we can love those who are mentally ill who are around us but without the expectation to be their lover, spouses, and life partners.
Be their friends, help them when you can w/o sacrificing and loosing yourself into co-dependecy

On point
Co -dependency only creates two mentally unwell people.

[Helix6]

Originally Posted by Ziusudra

You are so happy and surprise that he is apologizing for his bad behaviors.
So he may not be an absolute narcissist or has a personality disorder that can not distinguish right from wrong.
Apologizing for such unhealthy behavior is a normal action and nothing to be joyful about.

If I get a dime for every woman who goes back to their dysfunctional, unhealthy, and even abusive men whenever these guys apologize, I become a multi-millionaire by now.

It does not matter what he SAYS.
His WORDS does NOT mean a thing.
His ACTION is what matters.

Do not be dazzled by his words.
Pay attention to his behaviors/actions, towards you, himself, and with others.
Make your decision based on that.
It does NOT matter if he is your TF or SC.

Ask yourself, what kind of relationship do you really want to have?
What do you deserve? An emotionally unavailable man who acts selfishly?
Trust me on this. You do not want a man child.
Don't you want a man who wants to protect you? - for both emotionally and physically?
So what if you have a strong soul connection with him? when the 3D physical relationship is a nightmare?
You can not fix or change him.- Only he can do that.
If he is already over 30 yrs old, that is who he is. His brain is already developed. People do not change.
You are not even in a relationship but he has already made you feel 'sh..ty'. This is a very bad sign.

Hi Ziusudra,

Sorry for my late reply, I was very busy lately with my new work.
I smiled while reading your message haha.

I also think he has some narcissist traits that he has to release.
I did nothing to make him coming back to me.
I think his ego has been stroke and that he really put it aside to come back like this to me after so many months.

I don't think he is used to chase girls because he is quite handsome and had a lot of experiences.
Actually I learnt to distance myself during all this period.

I can observe strongly now the difference between the OLD me and the NEW me, and all the Healing done during this non-communication period.
Releasing all the past energies and feeling well and balanced on my own.


I'm quite surprised myself by my reaction.
Yes I'm happy that he came back to apologize, but I was not in this "euphoria" that I could have before. Actually I feel really detached and neutral since then. It's super "weird" compared to my "ME" before.
I'm like "naaah, let's see".
He came back like rushing in, when I said I forgave him. Started to wink-wink, being playful, mischievous. LIke nothing happened, or maybe because he felt I was really moving forward and that I still have a lot of "options" with other guys (Im quite "courted").

I had a kind of poker face reaction to what he told me after and I think he didn't expect this reaction from me (and me neither haha).

I absolutely agree to what you said, let's see the acts and not only the words.

He did not promise anything, he said he was not sure to be ready yet. I think one of his biggest fears is commitment. So after all this time, let's play it soft and see what happens. Open and curious, and then we'll see.

This time I put some boundaries, I think he was surprised by my reaction because even if I said I was happy he apologized and to talk to him again, I said I was not really OK for open relationship or so....that I won't compromise to my needs and that I don't want to be frustrated or block my own desires. I want doors to be open for sharing both in equal give-and-take, otherwise I won't stay in unhealthy relationship that doesnt seem complete to me.


Now he has my feedback about my expectations of a relationship. I don't put pressure, I'm just clear about my own needs.

Then he'll figure out all this as he wants, he knows what I want or not want anymore.

He knows I won't sign for middle-level stuff.
It's a take it or leave it! I'm good on my own.

As said, full me once, shame on you,
full me twice, shame on me ;)

[Helix6]

To come back about TF subject, I'm now 99,9% sure he is the ONE.

I had too many sync, dreams, and this Kundalini stuff happening to both of us when meeting back. The energies are mirroring each other each time.

When I dreamt about him 2 months ago, I was still chasing him in the dream and I heard an external voice (my guide) saying "WAIT". With this very wise and powerful voice. The tone was authoritarian, you know it's TRUE and you cannot contradict.
This "WAIT" was not only a WAIT, it was meaning a lot, implying, "wait and you'll get the signs you expect very soon". All this information was included in this wait. Like when you feel the telepathic transmission will a full message Inside.
I was IMMEDIATELY relieved and knew it will HAPPEN.

I knew he will come back soon.
And here it happens. :)


I definitely know it is him my other part, because this voice is only for my own Light and Twin Flame guidance.

If we don't reunite now completely it will be only because we got still parts of us to heal.

I don't have any abandonment fear anymore. If he leaves again I won't be happy of course, but I won't be really affected. Im' getting balanced on myself, I know I'm worth now and that I deserve LOVE.

I won't compromise anymore on my standards.

It's so nice to feel this new version of me :)
Im almost auto-sufficient now so I'm not nervous about people leaving and coming back. I take this time to work on myself and my own growth. :)

[Helix6]

Hi Ziusudra,

I thought about what you said for a long moment…

We talked back.
I was very disturbed by the way he used to talk.
He appeared very arrogant to me...nonchalant & arrogant. Not the HIM I used to know..Anyway.
He said he was thinking back to the last time we met (in august)….the sex was incredible.

He talked about all the times we saw each other and said we used to see each a lot doing this. Whaaaaaat
It's like he was denying all the connection behind, all the time we spent talking and laughin about our common points etc

He said he was not sure to be ready for a new start but that he wanted to see me back.
I was very clear, sayin I need to share tenderness, hugs, and that I need attention and equal give and take from the other.
He said "honestly I Don't know (blablabla) I have not a lot of tenderness to give...I wouldnt like you to attach whereas I am not able to attach to anyone at this time…".
LOL. OK. Too much is too much.
7 months after, he comes back to me to apologize, wants to see me back, but Nothing has CHANGED? And furthermore, he proposes me Something EMPTY....does the waiter at the restaurant proposes you the bone when you order some chicken??? (lol sorry for the metaphor but I like it)


I dont know if he was stone (he used to smoke a lot of weed) but I was shocked.
He 's not acting like this normally.*
He said he didnt want to have an exclusive relationship yet, that he thinks he is not ready.


He said that we could see each other to make love, smoke, drink and chatting but that he didnt have a lot of time at this moment (he s preparing a competitive exam these weeks ok) and that when he had it was especially to see his family and very close friends.


LOL OK. I understand but....

I said "OK you know what, your offer is everything but attractive,everything but flattering, if you want to see me in a light mood its very fine, but I don't have anymore place now for bull**** and middle relationships in my life".
And I left. He didnt open the message yet.

After sending the message, I was in my bed, I felt a nice and light kiss on my lips...his soul energy...I had the same after meeting him back last year.
And I started to see light strikes when my eyes closed and felt Energy flowing through my whole body.

I remembered all the times he direspected him (yelling at me etc) before that and he denied it.

Also for the symptoms he had (Kundalini) I asked him about if he still had and told me "yes its stress".

Lol. Total denial.



TF or not, I deserve respect and self love.
I am very proud to have said NO, and to stay aligned and balanced with myself.
If he is the one, then he still needs a lot of healing.


When he said he didnt want to have an OFFICIAL RELATIONSHIP, my brain bugged.
Its the ISSUE of my whole LIFE.
Meaning, I had a lot of semi-relationships before that where guys used to offer me only NON-OFFICIAL relationships. Don't I deserve better? YES I DO.

I understood now that it was my responsibility because I didnt learn to affirm myself and say NO. Believing that maybe some middle relationships, compromising, sex, etc will make things change. LOL

This is totally the opposite.


He used to have a lot of sexual relationshipsI guess before and after the long one that made him suffer a lot. He has a very light and entertaining approach to what sexuality is.
And I know with me it was different and spiritual. He said he was still thinking about it and turned all the conversation about our sexual connection.
BUt Im not only sexual.

So if he doesnt want the full package it will be next.
Twin Flame or not.

Im really confused, he has a weird behavior these times.
I think his ego has been hit because he was sure I will come and succumb to his magnificient charm....

[Helix6]

Also, important thing:

he told me he understood only lately why he wasnt available emotionnally and thats why he came aback to apologize. But he didnt want to go through details. (How do you understand this…?)

the formulation was very blurry to my mind…


He has been separated at least for more than 1year and half from his ex.
Its been 7 months we didnt see each other.
Why would he realize only now why he was not available….?

its totally subjective, but I do feel there is SOMEONE ELSE.
I mean not her ex from long Relationship...but maybe he is now with someone else but realized it's not the good one. He still thinks of me and want to test the waters softly before maybe to take a decision to leave the other karmic.


Its a deep feeling I have. Lets see whats next.

[TheProfaneAngel]

Let it go. Seriously. Many of them don’t respect you or communicate properly.

[TheProfaneAngel]

Originally Posted by Ziusudra

Well...
He is not back to you.
He felt guilty about "ghosting" you.
So he is just letting you know that he is OK and that he is not interested in getting involved.
There is nothing that you need to do.
Just let him work on his own issues. He is a grown man.

Also let him know that it is not OK for him to ghost you.
It is important to not letting him disrespect your feeling that way.
Let him know that such immature behavior is not acceptable.
Important to have a clear boundary.
I mean, ask yourself.
Would you ghost him or anyone that way?
It is extremely selfish and childish for him to think that he can just walk in and out of your life that way.
Don't tolerate such behavior.

Facts! This is the truth!