My twin brother just passed away 8/31/19

[LibraTaurusEnergy23]

6 months ago i wrote post below to a supporting mediation group on insight.

I am 33 years young and have a twin brother which I love with all my heart. We were always very close; However, we took different paths in life and he is an addict. I miss him everyday. I’m also very scared for him everyday...he has almost lost his life January 2018. The family has given up on him and I can’t seem to. I am his twin sister! How can I give up? I’m back and forth everyday. Every.single.day. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about him but I don’t know what to do and I’m starting to feel consumed and mentally exhausted like I’m going to have a panic attack one day. He isn’t helping himself and I just want to grab his broad shoulders and shake him. He has such great potential I love him dearly but he can’t seem to get it together. He tells me he does and I know he yourns for a normal life but it’s all talk and no action. But then I think he is so depressed he mentally can’t it’s so hard for him. It breaks my heart and there is nothing I can do but is that really right?? If something happens to him I’ll forever hold myself accountable for not doing enough. Am I supposed to continue my journey and remove him from my life to support my mental stability? Or should I continue to have him in my life continuing to disappoint me by his constant back and forth being on a positive kick for one day then the next day self sabotaging? Sometimes all I do is cry we are grown adults get it together my brother!! It’s stressful enough being an independent woman on my own! I have to do it all I have to pay for the roof over my own head the food I put in this body and who helps me? Nobody. Im at full capacity trying to balance my own well-being. On the exterior I may seem strong and have it together and I do and I try to stay strong and positive but I’m so tired and I’m scared and I’m just sad deep down all the time. I could be having the best day..on an island in the sun beer in my hand empanada in my other hand and the next second completely upset bc I just thought about my brother. He has potential. He was the one in honor classes..not me..he was a medic in the army for crying out loud he is a smart one but he isn’t smart with his own life. I know PTSD is an obstacle but how does an addict stop if Xanax is something routinely prescribed? He also had a problem with drugs before the army so it’s been a long time coming. I just want my brother back and I fear I will never get him back. Please someone tell me what to do ..this consumes my life, my happiness my well being. I don’t think I’ll ever be ok in this life if my brother is not ok. Even if I had everything in the world. I need my brother to be ok😥 he has heard this before and seen my cries and attempts to help but nothing ever clicks with him he never changes all talk no action😥 this whole ordeal really consumes me. It consumes my entire life. We are twins. We were super close and I feel so empty all the time. Both my father and brother are addicts. Such great examples of men. At times I think this is why I’m single. I can’t trust or respect men. To make it worse..they live together. I don’t think it will ever stop ...he takes care of him he is an old man now. But now how can my brother take care of himself?? He needs healing and a pure environment to do so ....sometimes I think I should take him under my wing and let him stay with me. But then no! I myself have come a long way and proud of where I am in life even tho deep down I’m sad for him. I have a small space in which is my sanctuary that I’ve worked long and hard for why can’t I be selfish? But then I feel bad for being selfish. I’m a Libra.. nice to meet you. Lol ✌️love

Fast forward: My dear brother has passed away. 8/31/2019. My father passed shortly after him on 9/25/2019. My heart is completely shattered.

Has anyone had experience with a spirit after death? My twin brother just passed. 10/3/1985-08/31/2019.

My brothers ex told me she saw him and he is still here. She said he helped her bring to light currents bf’s cheating ways. She also mentioned he told her to tell me “always”. I’m lost for words. Is he still here? Why is he still here. Why hasn’t he reached out to me? Does this mean he isn’t where he needs to be? I’m so scared for him and I also want to try and talk to him is it bc I’m not intuitive enough? How do I become more intuitive? Please please help I’m desperate for answers and insight. I miss my brother dearly. This life has nothing for me now I need something from my brother so I can move on I’m not sure what I need but I’m obsessed in my mind thinking he is still here not in physical form but in spirit and he is upset about a man cheating on his ex girlfriend?! I know she is intuitively inclined so I believe her but she said for the most part he won’t talk to her and she hasn’t seen him since my dad passed away which was 9/25/2019