Hello from Chilly Sussex UK

Hi

I just joined and hope to seek and get some clarity.

My life was ripped apart in August last year when my wife, soul mate and reason to be passed away with cancer.
We had only a short 18 month fight before it took her.
All was going well when suddenly she became sick and within a week and a half she lay in my arms at the local hospice and passed to spirit, those unforgettable big brown eyes closing and lost to me.

To say I was devastated is a massive under statement, in a state of shock I saw to her funeral arrangements.
She was just 50 and I was 44 then.

However, the universe had not taken enough pleasure at my pain and boxing day 2009 saw my mothers cancer take a terrible turn for the worst after 24 years of fighting it.
Her bones were gradually dissolved by this evil thing and so in early May this year saw me holding my mum in my arms as she too passed to spirit, just 7 months after my wife.

So now I was left with both my much loved and needed ladies gone.

Here I am approaching another empty Xmas, lost as ever I could be.

So very confused about what is and will be.

My wife was a very spiritual lady, so very calming for me, she believed and long ago when we spoke of what would happen we both agreed to wait for the other.
It was our belief that we would be reunited and could carry on just as we had been but without the illnesses and the ever present ticking clock.

This is a strongly held belief, one that I was brought up with as mum & dad are spiritualists.

Dad is still here and I do have a sister but they live at some distance so I live alone apart from the little things that my wife and I knew.

I have had some readings but nothing beats hearing from my lady myself.

The more I read on what life in spirit is like the more I worry and fear that what awaits me is nothing but a sanitised existence with none of the comforts and simplicity that this life once afforded me.

So that is me.

I guess like so many, I arrive in need of kind assistance.

Oh and my name is Mike.