A question about twin flames.

[JustBe]

Originally Posted by FallingLeaves

it is kinda like charley brown and lucy and kicking that accursed football... right now though I want to not kick footballs more than I want to see if 'anything is possible' will pan out the ten millionth time I try even though all the other times it didn't...

As you show, reaching out with that kind of unhealthy attachment or need really doesn’t serve you to gain other than seeing the pain and struggle involved.

I’ve learnt that reaching outwardly can be more aligned to clear spontaneity, where by its not something invested in, out of duty, need or attachment, but a genuine feeling to do so. The problem with many people who chase, it takes a long time and process to reach that place within. Often those feelings in need, determine that it’s right and true. Where as it’s really just one’s own need.

[SMT3Master227]

Originally Posted by JustBe

As you show, reaching out with that kind of unhealthy attachment or need really doesn’t serve you to gain other than seeing the pain and struggle involved.

I’ve learnt that reaching outwardly can be more aligned to clear spontaneity, where by its not something invested in, out of duty, need or attachment, but a genuine feeling to do so. The problem with many people who chase, it takes a long time and process to reach that place within. Often those feelings in need, determine that it’s right and true. Where as it’s really just one’s own need.

Im still confused about that person's situation lol. I have no idea what their history was ever since the mom told him to go away. How was he reaching out, what was it about, what is their history, lack of details all around. Not trying to judge but with incomplete information, I dont have an opinion about that situation.

For the person I think is my TF, I tried reaching out a few months ago to meet up for coffee since I was going to be in her city for vacation and thought why not, lets see what happens since I liked what I read about her and was curious what shes up to. It was weird how I was thinking about going there for a while to see some family and then when she popped up, I was kind of excited to see her again even though at first i was kind of indifferent. At first though I thought she was just out of my league and was never going to respond, so I kind of just figured she wasnt going to bother and just ignore me.

But I guess she responded....with a block LOL. On one website though, not two. The other site she just declined my friend request. Very weird since I have two different pictures on two different sites, but with the same name, so she thought I was like two different people and one of those pics I kinda looked like her ex (the site i was blocked on). This was one of the weirdest things to happen to me in a while since almost all my other friends from the past have chatted me up and it felt like yesterday, except her, and well her best friend too that I used to be good friends with, not sure if something happened to her.

I was also doing research on the effects of narcissistic abuse....yeah its pretty bad. Shes all hypervigilant/survival mode/socially withdrawn and its so sad. Low self esteem, bad trust issues, probably still having nightmares/flashbacks, thinking everyone wants to get over on her now (I said I thought she was doing awesome with her new job...and that job pays well, so she prob thought I just wanted her money), like I was blown away at how bad this guy messed her up. I figure too that its been 2 years and maybe shes healed, but nope. I hope shes in therapy or getting help. Its weird though that when I tried talking to her, she started deleting things related to her ex (checked her profiles a few times since I really wasnt sure if it was really her, she dyed her hair and looked different), which I thought was also really strange. If I discovered her any latter, I wouldnt have a clue what happened to her, so bizarre.

I went to eat pizza today in the town where she went to art college when she was a kid. Pizza was her favorite food. It was sad yet spiritually rewarding at the same time. I dunno if this is destiny or just all in my head, but at least the pizza was good.

[SMT3Master227]

woops this is a dupe post

[Gem]

This is nothing to do with TF's, but I'm being ghosted by a long-term childhood friend I've known since we were babies. I don't know why she has written me off. It is disappointing and I wonder if it's because of something I said or did, but in any case, I get the message. I'll still be available but whatever the reasons are, or maybe there are no reasons, I accept I'm never going to hear from her again, so I'm leaving that behind and moving right along.

[SMT3Master227]

Originally Posted by Gem

This is nothing to do with TF's, but I'm being ghosted by a long-term childhood friend I've known since we were babies. I don't know why she has written me off. It is disappointing and I wonder if it's because of something I said or did, but in any case, I get the message. I'll still be available but whatever the reasons are, or maybe there are no reasons, I accept I'm never going to hear from her again, so I'm leaving that behind and moving right along.

Did something happem to them? Life happens and it takes time for people to come aroundzometimes.