In need of rescue

so that's it is it? "Whatever you were to each other that relationship is forever gone" and "wake up and stop wallowing in self pity"

[Emmalevine]

That's not how I feel about it. It isn't how you have to feel either if you feel differently.

Grieving is important. Your wife mattered to you and continues to now and there's nothing wrong with that. Of course over time you will start to move on and accept the loss, but it doesn't mean your wife is ever 'gone' or the relationship you shared. They are always a part of you.

Grieving is NOT self pity and I find the mere suggestion offensive, especially considering this is a spiritual site. Grieving is healthy and a natural response to a loss.

Originally Posted by Starbuck

That's not how I feel about it. It isn't how you have to feel either if you feel differently.

Grieving is important. Your wife mattered to you and continues to now and there's nothing wrong with that. Of course over time you will start to move on and accept the loss, but it doesn't mean your wife is ever 'gone' or the relationship you shared. They are always a part of you.

Grieving is NOT self pity and I find the mere suggestion offensive, especially considering this is a spiritual site. Grieving is healthy and a natural response to a loss.

Thanks, I aligned with you here.
If, my wife and soul mate is no longer that when I pass over then there is no reason for existence.
And I don't think I am in self pity either, I saw my mother through her death, pulled the family back together, all just 7 months after ,losing my lady, have not let myself go, have continued to work and carried on with my union work looking after other work mates.
Self pity no, I honour my wife and mum.

But I am also falling to bits inside and thought I'd seek some help here.

[Silver]

Originally Posted by HalfaMan

so that's it is it? "Whatever you were to each other that relationship is forever gone" and "wake up and stop wallowing in self pity"

I only said the first half of that sentence and I only meant it in the obvious way plus the mystery that is beyond us to know.

I am all about self pity, I do it a lot over losing my son. Heh.

But I also see to the future, when it's my turn to go. I guess now, I see it as the fledgling leaving the nest for the first time. In order for a baby to be completely born, you have to cut the umbilical cord. It doesn't mean they're not still a part of you, y'know...
I know you're hurting, I know!

Originally Posted by Silvergirl

I only said the first half of that sentence and I only meant it in the obvious way plus the mystery that is beyond us to know.

I am all about self pity, I do it a lot over losing my son. Heh.

But I also see to the future, when it's my turn to go. I guess now, I see it as the fledgling leaving the nest for the first time. In order for a baby to be completely born, you have to cut the umbilical cord. It doesn't mean they're not still a part of you, y'know...
I know you're hurting, I know!

..........

My dad comes to me in dreams. Spirits don't "perform" on command. There are many reasons as to why your wife hasn't communicated with you yet. I will tell you this, which you may know, that their time and ours is totally different.

When I asked my dad "What took you so long to tell me you made it??" He said "What? I only just left!" "Dad, it's been a year!" He said "A year? pfft that is mere seconds to us here! 40 years is like a day! PATIENCE!!" and then he left.

I pass that on to you. Patience.

By the way.. I've died. I know there's an afterlife. I also know that spirit CAN communicate to us, when...we are ready. You may "FEEL" ready, but only they know exactly when you are. :)

Originally Posted by Medium_Laura

My dad comes to me in dreams. Spirits don't "perform" on command. There are many reasons as to why your wife hasn't communicated with you yet. I will tell you this, which you may know, that their time and ours is totally different.

When I asked my dad "What took you so long to tell me you made it??" He said "What? I only just left!" "Dad, it's been a year!" He said "A year? pfft that is mere seconds to us here! 40 years is like a day! PATIENCE!!" and then he left.

I pass that on to you. Patience.

By the way.. I've died. I know there's an afterlife. I also know that spirit CAN communicate to us, when...we are ready. You may "FEEL" ready, but only they know exactly when you are. :)

Hmm, interesting.

Thing with my lady is she loved me with such an intensity, I trust her to come back to me if she is there, I trusted, trust her above all others.
But, and without being dramatic or hoping to put pressure on her or others, I really find I am nose diving just now such that I am scared everything will fall apart in what's left of my existence here.

Its never been easy since she went, but I had reached the stage where I thought I might be doing ok, but then as I say my faith has just gone almost.
Maybe it is the time thing, poor thing might be having a bit of a rest or her famous 5mins LOL trouble is, I am going to be looking an old bloke soon, so how can I still be her toy boy hahahah

Greetings Mike;

I am truly sorry for your losses and pain.. And also for all of people who keep saying that you are blocking everything with your pain. I know this kind of thing can really make one feel alone and hopeless in the universe.

I would first like to say; Hawkings, take him with a grain of salt. He compares the human consciousness to a computer? He says that believing in an afterlife is like believing that when a computer breaks down, that it exists somewhere else. For a man that is supposed to be so intelligent, to compare a human being to a lap top is quite foolish. A computer has no consciousness or self awareness. It cannot make a decision or think for itself... It cannot dream or think or manifest with mental energies... To say that we, as human beings are no more than the lap tops we see in a Best Buy store is beyond obsurd.

Second; I would like to say that I have seen angelic beings, ghosts, spirits and have been visited by relatives who had passed away. I was not crazy, in a trance, asleep or dreaming. I was not intoxicated or self delusioned. I was wide awake and of sound mind... and other times in a group and there it was, as big as life in front of us all out of the blue.

And yet, I have seen relatives and friends pass that I was really close with. I was sure that I would see or hear something that would let me know that they were okay or saying hello or goodbye.... but I never did.

We cannot possibly know how and why these things are in the grand scheme of life and eternity. But one day we will. It can be very disheartening to live with unanswered questions and mysteries sometimes... but I suppose it is part of the job.

Your wife and mother are alive and well.... somewhere. I would not tell you this if I did not have much personal evidence as to life beyond the grave and life beyond our own dimension. I wish I could tell you why you have not heard from either of them as of yet... but I cannot.

Chin up my friend .... You may be having a crisis of faith right now. But at least trust that what I have shared with you is the truth and from the heart.

Be blessed.

Originally Posted by HalfaMan

Hmm, interesting.

Thing with my lady is she loved me with such an intensity, I trust her to come back to me if she is there, I trusted, trust her above all others.
But, and without being dramatic or hoping to put pressure on her or others, I really find I am nose diving just now such that I am scared everything will fall apart in what's left of my existence here.

Its never been easy since she went, but I had reached the stage where I thought I might be doing ok, but then as I say my faith has just gone almost.
Maybe it is the time thing, poor thing might be having a bit of a rest or her famous 5mins LOL trouble is, I am going to be looking an old bloke soon, so how can I still be her toy boy hahahah

Aww I know what you mean but you need to realize we are not our bodies. She will know your soul honey. :) She will always be waiting for you on the Other Side, whether you get that sign or you don't. Maybe not giving you a sign is a sign.... sounds cheezy, but what if you are so caught up in that sign that you are losing sight of the reason you're still here.... to live your life.

I know it's hard, I know it hurts, but you are still here and you have work to do. She will be with you every single step of the way and when you least expect it, you'll see that sign and you'll smile. xoxo

Blessings and love to you.

Mike...

I just had a thought...have you considered going to a spiritualist church? With all that concentrated ampage of psychic energy, maybe you'll make contact with her there?

http://www.dmoz.org/Society/Religion...nited_Kingdom/