I believe he is my soul mate

[Aquamarine]

I really have never believed in soul mates before. Until I met R.

I met him at a very inopportune time, he was in the middle of a divorce and told me that he was not interested in a relationship, which was fine, I was not interested in dating someone getting a divorce so we got to know each other as friends.

The problem was that despite that, we both got to care a lot for eachother during that time.

Now its years later and I can't forget him. I try and it pains me, it physically as well as mentally pains me. I've tried everything I can think of to get him out of my system and I can't do it. My feelings are so deep for him its unnatural for the time I spent for him, and there is NO reason it should be that way-I've tried to figure it out-even psychologically.....theres nothing. No reason. I just can't explain it.

I don't know what to do. I never believed in soul mates but like I said, I can't explain this. There has to be something, and any rational explanation is not making any sense any longer.

[Aquamarine]

We didn't stay in contact because I never gave him my phone number because I knew he was worried about getting too close because of having so much on his plate because of the divorce, sorting out all of that. So we completely lost contact. I'd run into him, and of course it was like seeing someone I missed terribly. I wanted to give him my number but I never got the chance-finally the last time I saw him I asked him out and he went on about his life being chaotic and so on, though I told him I was only asking him for a walk around the block (he lives near me the last I knew, to which he hugged me every time I said that...) but the answer was no. Even though I gave him my phone number.

Maybe he's always like this. The way he was when I met him is the norm for him, its not the divorce, its how he is.

I don't know how I can remain friends with him, I'm so broken hearted I don't know if I can even look at him. I'm just devasted.

[FallingLeaves]

Originally Posted by Aquamarine

We didn't stay in contact because I never gave him my phone number because I knew he was worried about getting too close because of having so much on his plate because of the divorce, sorting out all of that. So we completely lost contact. I'd run into him, and of course it was like seeing someone I missed terribly. I wanted to give him my number but I never got the chance-finally the last time I saw him I asked him out and he went on about his life being chaotic and so on, though I told him I was only asking him for a walk around the block (he lives near me the last I knew, to which he hugged me every time I said that...) but the answer was no. Even though I gave him my phone number.

Maybe he's always like this. The way he was when I met him is the norm for him, its not the divorce, its how he is.

I don't know how I can remain friends with him, I'm so broken hearted I don't know if I can even look at him. I'm just devasted.

yeah it is really rough. I don't know if there is any way through it either. I keep saying there is only to be proven wrong sigh...

[Aquamarine]

I was looking at this as I was typing this wondering why someone who had so many problems had left such a deep impression on me. Obviously it seems healthier to focus my attention on someone who is not getting a divorce and so on.

Its not that. None of it is about that. What sticks with me is what happened between him and I. Its not all that other stuff. He was the only person I ever felt (ever) that completely accepted me-and I don't mean that lightly, like oh , yes, I felt accepted by him, wasn't it wonderful. I mean, that in a very deep way, I felt utterly that I could be myself-and the more me I was, the more he liked me. I've never felt so encouraged to be me, cared for just for being who I am. Admired for being me. He would ask me, what do you think about...? He wanted my opinion-it mattered to him. And I KNOW that that is rare. There are not many, even really good relationships that have that so much of that acceptance of someone for being just who they are. And I can't let it go. And I don't know what to do. I keep trying to shake this guy and I can't.I feel like I'm on emergency status, I need to find another guy to distract myself STAT. Meanwhile, he doesn't call. Maybe he never felt that with me. probably. just me. why me?

I felt so sure about him, I could never imagine him not in my life. When he disappeared it felt so wrong, like something was tragically wrong-it wasn't supposed to happen. It still feels that way. It feels like he is not "supposed" to not be out of my life. I don't understand how this could happen. Even if he is a friend. I am so crushed about this.

[Aquamarine]

I guess he is not my soulmate or he would not be able to stay away right? Maybe I just read things wrong, very wrong.