Looking for advice

Hello, One of the things my Twin Flame's spirit does to me is undress my friends or other women that I am around - it's happened on numerous occasions. Once I was talking to a gf and his spirit came, completely undressed her, I saw all of her naked body if you know what I mean, and then left, and I have to sit there and act like nothing is happening. Or I'll be having dinner out somewhere and his spirit will come and have sex with the waitress and leave. He had a crush on one of my friends, his spirit always showed up when she and I got together, and he used me to stare at her while she was going to the bathroom when we were at the bar.

I obsessively think about these memories because, well, what does it mean? Him and I are not together, he lives overseas. I broke up with him bc when he and i first started talking I saw him about to have sex with another woman and got to jealous. I figure, he can love and have sex with other women - I thought he could only love me - pride gone.

Is this part of my lesson on learning unconditional love? forgiveness? Or am i supposed to learn just what it's like to be a male and to be sexually attracted to lots of other women, and therefore have sexual ideation about them?

I feel like I know what it's like to be a hetero man from all of this

Has this happened to any one else?

[Nan948]

Originally Posted by LookingForGuidance

Hello, One of the things my Twin Flame's spirit does to me is undress my friends or other women that I am around - it's happened on numerous occasions. Once I was talking to a gf and his spirit came, completely undressed her, I saw all of her naked body if you know what I mean, and then left, and I have to sit there and act like nothing is happening. Or I'll be having dinner out somewhere and his spirit will come and have sex with the waitress and leave. He had a crush on one of my friends, his spirit always showed up when she and I got together, and he used me to stare at her while she was going to the bathroom when we were at the bar.

I obsessively think about these memories because, well, what does it mean? Him and I are not together, he lives overseas. I broke up with him bc when he and i first started talking I saw him about to have sex with another woman and got to jealous. I figure, he can love and have sex with other women - I thought he could only love me - pride gone.

Is this part of my lesson on learning unconditional love? forgiveness? Or am i supposed to learn just what it's like to be a male and to be sexually attracted to lots of other women, and therefore have sexual ideation about them?

I feel like I know what it's like to be a hetero man from all of this

Has this happened to any one else?

This is not to teach you a lesson. This is to teach him a lesson. He can't use your space whenever he feels like just to undress people. He needs to learn respect and you have to teach him how to respect you and your space.

Look at it this way. You live in the same house but you do not share the same room. If he wants to enter your room or use your room he has to treat your room with respect. What would you do with people who trashes your room or steal stuff from your room. Kick them out and/or lock them out.

Your twin flame should be feeling that what he does hurts you. Maybe he does not know that you can hear his thoughts and feel his emotions when he shows up in this way. It is your responsibility to tell him. If he doesn't stop, it is your responsibility to show him how you want to be treated when he decides to show up.

You need to practice visualizing. Visualization techniques. This can help you kick him out of your space. If you know him well this will also help. When he shows up and start to disrespect your space, connect with him and visualize talking to him and telling him that you know what he is doing, you can hear his thoughts and you are not happy with it. Visualize a situation that will make him leave. Or visualize shoving him out of your space/mind. Or visualize turning around facing him and yelling "NO".....and let him know why.

It is your space and he does not have the right to enter it and disrespect it. And it is up to you to decide whether he should stay or go. If he doesn't want to respect your space, make him leave. It is not his space, it is yours. He is the one visiting and intruding. You don't have to be a nice host.

To me unconditional love can only happen on two levels - 1) you naively
project it out onto whatever target without knowing anything about them/it...
fine if it makes you feel good because you have no expectation of anything in
return.

2) That you know someone very well - you live or lived with them or they're
very close and you accept everything about them....doesn't mean you have
to comply with what they want all the time - but you appreciate things about
them that you otherwise wouldn't like... because they're part of what makes
that person what they are. It's one of these "the whole is greater than the
sum of the parts" things.

"Forgive" doesn't come into it because what they do doesn't matter. You take it all in.


I'd say it's very rare in ordinary intimate (or wannbe-intimate) relations because there are
always expectations and if things get heavy going there's only so much hurt a
person can put up with before it turns sour. So I don't believe that
unconditional love is necessarily permanent. Love as you may, if you're being used as
a doormat you have two choices....


A good parent unconditionally loves her/his child. But among adults? Possible but rare.

One lesson you have to learn is banishing obsession. It is spiritually unhealthy - well,
unhealthy in every way. You're tying yourself to something that brings uncertainty, anguish
and anger. And you have to question how much your imagination is at the root,
playing up because his physical absence is causing you grief, jealousy.

♥

Thank you very much for this advice- I can't express the amount of gratitude I feel for you taking the time to respond to me.

Do you have any advice for me on the Universe connecting me to a twin flame who is spiritually abusive? disrespectful? critical? cruel? jealous and controlling?

Is this happening to me because God wants me to clear the planet from abuse and using me in this insane relationship to do it?

As soon as I met him, my inner voice said to me "oh no, I've already loved one crazy abusive man my whole life (my father!) i'm not loving another" I sabotaged the physical relationship and got out - but it's been 2 years now, and his spirit is so controlling that he yells at me about what to wear, what to eat, how to do my make-up, what to buy when I shop, how to cook and clean, and also makes me exercise sometimes twice a day. Some days his spirit has me pinned to my bed, or keeps me inside my house -

Every once and awhile he'll say hello to me by banging on one of my kitchen pots. I'll think "if that's you then bang the pot again" and it'll cling and move. It's usually 3 times in a row this happens.

Why is this happening to me? What am I doing wrong?

I was a normal human being until 2 years ago - this spiritual stuff is new to me, I'm learning but it's really insane. I can run away from a physical abusive relationship, but now I'm entwined with a spirit that wants to have sex with every female around me! Like this is seriously crazy right?!
I'm trying not to go insane here. But I'm spiritually married to an angry, disrespectful, promiscuous, insecure jerk, who hates women except for sex.

I believe you when @Nan948 say visualization, and agree with you, but I'm stuck on how this whole experience feels like a abusive relationship - it's intense love + negativity, disrespect and abuse - it's like he's spiritually hitting me but I can feel how much he loves me so I continue to take it like a victim.

Am I supposed to use the intense Hate I feel for him in order to feed my own self love?

Originally Posted by LookingForGuidance

Do you have any advice for me on the Universe connecting me to a twin flame who is spiritually abusive? disrespectful? critical? cruel? jealous and controlling?

I read a lot about divine plans working in the most mysterious ways on this
forum but I ask myself why "the universe" (a synonym for god) would play
such a hateful trick using individuals as pawns in some greater agenda,
causing them suffering etc. It smells of Job in the Bible, the victim of political
games between god and the devil. Well, it isn't a very nice god or universe
who would do that. So at the very best it is some broken connection with the
Creator and Its spiritual reach into you, I'd guess.
Others here might claim it a karma issue. There could be several reasons
why you feel this but know that the feelings come from your interpretation.

My immediate answer is that he isn't (what I interpret as) a twin flame, just
someone who's run his time with you. People behave themselves unusually
well during the early days of courtship then, as the romance dies out they
start to see a more realistic side of each other. Good when it stays great
but sometimes it's just reached its end. The people simply don't mesh.

You just have to get rid of him. In one way it's as simple as removing the
label. From what I read here and in many splurges on the web, twin flames are
supposed to help each other evolve in a positive way, not learn lessons in
spite of each other. So if he's putting you through hell, you have to ask
yourself. Twin-flamism is pretty fashionable at the moment. But...what would
you have thought - and done - say, 30 years ago before the snake-oil
merchants crowded the web? In those days the twin ray thing was the
province of dedicated theosophists, not ordinary people trying to find
Mr or Mrs Right.

Is this happening to me because God wants me to clear the planet from abuse and using me in this insane relationship to do it?

I doubt it. You aren't alone in suffering an abusive, horrid relationship and such things aren't clearing the planet.

The only way I can think to do one's bit toward that is to spread a wonderful,
positive psychic atmosphere...if with a partner someone with whom you
share mutual happiness and appreciation. Unconditional love is the aim but
not always possible.

As soon as I met him, my inner voice said to me "oh no, I've already loved one crazy abusive man my whole life (my father!) i'm not loving another" I sabotaged the physics relationship and got out - but it's been 2 years now, and his spirit is so controlling that he yells at me about what to wear, what to eat, how to do my make-up, what to buy when I shop, how to cook and clean, and also makes me exercise sometimes twice a day. Some days his spirit has me pinned to my bed, or keeps me inside my house -

Every once and awhile he'll say hello to me by banging on one of my kitchen pots. I'll think "if that's you then bang the pot again" and it'll cling and move. It's usually 3 times in a row this happens.

Why is this happening to me? What am I doing wrong?

You're doing nothing wrong. You're vulnerable and have to build solid
defences. You have to banish him from your life and there are
many ways to do this.

But ultimately it comes down to you, if you have faith in your strength to do it
and whether you really want to do it.

If necessary, seek counselling - not from the internet but face to face with
someone neutral. If you had the chance to talk this through to a
person who can help you find your individual solution, it's my bet you'd start
to rationalise why you're putting up with it....which is a first step to undoing
it.

Am I supposed to use the intense Hate I feel for him in order to feed my own self love?

Dangerous, that. Be rid of him, be rid of the obsession before you aim to love
(i.e. appreciate and value) yourself to the full. Don't draw dark stuff deliberately
into your being. Think about counselling.

♥