Ending a Friendship with Twin Flame

[DaisySunshine]

I'm posting this mostly to vent/organize my thoughts and possibly get some understanding, but am not particularly looking for advice/opinions.

Met my twin flame in November and met in person in March. It was crazy intense and I immediately knew I had known him before. I had an immediate, deep and pure love for him which was amd wasn't romantic, platonic, brotherly, etc all at the same time. Just a complete kind of love. In April he met a girl and his romantic feelings for me changed. I was devestated at first but 3 weeks later am doing much better. I'm focusing on myself and my personal growth, which has included journaling, drawing, painting, going hiking alone, spending more time with other friends, etc. It has been good for me.

Things were tense and awkward between us so I didn't message him and 5 days later he texted me and we talked. It went better than before. Last weekend we texted and had a really good conversation and I didn't feel any lingering romantic feelings. I felt like we could be great friends. Through this past week we texted here and there. He spent some time at his parents mountain cabin alone and showed me some of his pictures he had taken (we both appreciate natural beauty). At one point he referred to me as his best friend. I've been doing a lot of nature sketching this week and drew a pine tree one day, and I was looking through his creative instagram account amd noticed a sketch of a pine tree similar to mine he drew years ago.

Yesterday I was deleting pics to clear my phone space a d came across some screenshots of an old conversation days after we first met and it struck me. He hadn't slept well, was sick, and had a paper to do and I sympathized and told him to just rest and do the paper. He said he wanted to talk to me and I said I cared about him and wanted him to rest and get the paper done. He talked about how happy it made him talking to me and how intense our soul connection was. He said he'd never experienced anything like this with anyone before. It was hard. Remembering how I used to be the one he came to for everything, good or bad. Every little thing. He was so enthralled. I always thought even if the romantic feelings left the deep friendship would stay. But I know his type, I've seen it. When someone is a love interest he wants to be with them all the time and obsesses over everything them. He did it with me. But now that's her.

We used to Skype (his idea) and I have mentioned the past week or so how I miss hearing his voice. He always is vague saying, "I'm busy the next few days but maybe after!" It's always me who brings it up but he is always telling me when he's going to be calling her. People I know like this place their love interest on a pedestal and everyone else gets pushed back and back until they're nothing. It's happened several times with friends. I flat out told not to worry abput skyping anymore but he insisted he wants to and that he'd never push me out like that. I told him I'm in a bad position and am looking put for my heart because while romantic feelings can come and go, deep friendships are harder to lose. He said we're not losing our friendship and that he misses skyping too and will make time for it soon. I told him he will have to bring it up then because I feel like a nag lately. I could feel some hurt and worry in him. This morning I texted him saying if he was worried last night, we're still twin flames and I still have that pure love for him, that won't break. He said he was glad to hear that and worried a little because he doesn't handle loss well. I asked what he meant and he said "Just that losing you as a friend would suck." I responded "Then don't let it happen," which he hasn't been on to read yet.

I've been by too many friendships where I feel like I'm the only one who makes an effort to talk, get together, etc. I'm all for second chances and forgiveness. If he truly wants a friendship I am open, but would need effort on his part. Based on his type, I feel certain he is so obsessed with his current love interest that he won't take the time to maintain a friendship with me. In that situation, I feel it would be me trying and the deep friendship would slowly turn to casual, aquaintences, and then an aquaintence you know but never talk to. I just don't think I can handle losing that with him.

It's seemed that he became the runner, but now I want to be the one to run. I feel I am worthy of friendships with those who make an effort. I don't want to cut him put completely, but I feel that on a soul level I may be the more mature one. Like he has to figure out himself first before he can be a true friend. Maybe he needs to lose some friendships and reflect upon his actions. If he came to this conclusion down the road and wanted to maintain/pursue the friendship, I would be happy to. But it hurts me getting pushed away like this and I don't think he is fully realizing what is happening. I feel like ending our friendship, at least for now, is best for my heart and his personal growth. I won't make a big show out of it and tell him, but will simply just stop communicating. If he wants to know about my life, he is welcome to follow that via Facebook and instagram. We have always shared pur creativity woth each other, and if he wants to see my latest photos and art, he can view instagram. He insists he needs me but I feel his growth will happen better this way, and that he needs to not "need" me as a friend but rather "want" me as a friend before we continue a friendship.

I still love him, and this isn't an easy decision, but I feel this is right in our twin flame journey.

[A human Being]

Aw Daisy I really feel for you, I know how much rejection can hurt and I can feel your pain in your words, it's so difficult to deal with these feelings when they arise. I feel for your twin, too, he obviously still has strong feelings for you but he feels torn between you and his girlfriend, but I think you're taking the right course of action, for both of you. What I would say is that maybe it would be best if you did tell him that you're breaking off contact, and your reasons for doing so, or else you might well end up creating more heartache for both of you further down the line - best to communicate your feelings and intentions, I think, he might be hurt but I'm sure he'd understand.

For yourself, it's pretty much inevitable that those painful feelings of rejection are going to resurface again, especially when you have strong feelings for your twin - if and when they do, let them all out, have a good cry if you feel moved to do so (you mentioned journaling, that's also an excellent idea). And know that there are people who love you and care about you

(Sorry, I know you said you weren't after advice and opinions but I felt moved to give mine anyway :))

[Delay_Reaction]

Originally Posted by DaisySunshine

I'm posting this mostly to vent/organize my thoughts and possibly get some understanding, but am not particularly looking for advice/opinions.

Met my twin flame in November and met in person in March. It was crazy intense and I immediately knew I had known him before. I had an immediate, deep and pure love for him which was amd wasn't romantic, platonic, brotherly, etc all at the same time. Just a complete kind of love. In April he met a girl and his romantic feelings for me changed. I was devestated at first but 3 weeks later am doing much better. I'm focusing on myself and my personal growth, which has included journaling, drawing, painting, going hiking alone, spending more time with other friends, etc. It has been good for me.

Things were tense and awkward between us so I didn't message him and 5 days later he texted me and we talked. It went better than before. Last weekend we texted and had a really good conversation and I didn't feel any lingering romantic feelings. I felt like we could be great friends. Through this past week we texted here and there. He spent some time at his parents mountain cabin alone and showed me some of his pictures he had taken (we both appreciate natural beauty). At one point he referred to me as his best friend. I've been doing a lot of nature sketching this week and drew a pine tree one day, and I was looking through his creative instagram account amd noticed a sketch of a pine tree similar to mine he drew years ago.

Yesterday I was deleting pics to clear my phone space a d came across some screenshots of an old conversation days after we first met and it struck me. He hadn't slept well, was sick, and had a paper to do and I sympathized and told him to just rest and do the paper. He said he wanted to talk to me and I said I cared about him and wanted him to rest and get the paper done. He talked about how happy it made him talking to me and how intense our soul connection was. He said he'd never experienced anything like this with anyone before. It was hard. Remembering how I used to be the one he came to for everything, good or bad. Every little thing. He was so enthralled. I always thought even if the romantic feelings left the deep friendship would stay. But I know his type, I've seen it. When someone is a love interest he wants to be with them all the time and obsesses over everything them. He did it with me. But now that's her.

We used to Skype (his idea) and I have mentioned the past week or so how I miss hearing his voice. He always is vague saying, "I'm busy the next few days but maybe after!" It's always me who brings it up but he is always telling me when he's going to be calling her. People I know like this place their love interest on a pedestal and everyone else gets pushed back and back until they're nothing. It's happened several times with friends. I flat out told not to worry abput skyping anymore but he insisted he wants to and that he'd never push me out like that. I told him I'm in a bad position and am looking put for my heart because while romantic feelings can come and go, deep friendships are harder to lose. He said we're not losing our friendship and that he misses skyping too and will make time for it soon. I told him he will have to bring it up then because I feel like a nag lately. I could feel some hurt and worry in him. This morning I texted him saying if he was worried last night, we're still twin flames and I still have that pure love for him, that won't break. He said he was glad to hear that and worried a little because he doesn't handle loss well. I asked what he meant and he said "Just that losing you as a friend would suck." I responded "Then don't let it happen," which he hasn't been on to read yet.

I've been by too many friendships where I feel like I'm the only one who makes an effort to talk, get together, etc. I'm all for second chances and forgiveness. If he truly wants a friendship I am open, but would need effort on his part. Based on his type, I feel certain he is so obsessed with his current love interest that he won't take the time to maintain a friendship with me. In that situation, I feel it would be me trying and the deep friendship would slowly turn to casual, aquaintences, and then an aquaintence you know but never talk to. I just don't think I can handle losing that with him.

It's seemed that he became the runner, but now I want to be the one to run. I feel I am worthy of friendships with those who make an effort. I don't want to cut him put completely, but I feel that on a soul level I may be the more mature one. Like he has to figure out himself first before he can be a true friend. Maybe he needs to lose some friendships and reflect upon his actions. If he came to this conclusion down the road and wanted to maintain/pursue the friendship, I would be happy to. But it hurts me getting pushed away like this and I don't think he is fully realizing what is happening. I feel like ending our friendship, at least for now, is best for my heart and his personal growth. I won't make a big show out of it and tell him, but will simply just stop communicating. If he wants to know about my life, he is welcome to follow that via Facebook and instagram. We have always shared pur creativity woth each other, and if he wants to see my latest photos and art, he can view instagram. He insists he needs me but I feel his growth will happen better this way, and that he needs to not "need" me as a friend but rather "want" me as a friend before we continue a friendship.

I still love him, and this isn't an easy decision, but I feel this is right in our twin flame journey.

Hi DaisySunshine,

I can relate somewhat to your situation. The person I call my twin, has always told me that she "needed" my love for her as oppose to wanting it.

I have accepted that present circumstances at the moment do not allow us to be together in a romantic sense, but it's always hard to let go of the idea of being more with this person, especially if you've had it in the past.

Communication between me and my twin is definitely nowhere near it used to be and I feel she has closed up shop, at least on an emotional level for the time being.

I see all of this as her still figuring out her life. I still have the deep love for her and that will never go away, but I do not want someone to feel that they "need" some part of me to love them in order for them to feel good about themselves.

As we both grow individually, we will eventually realize that we don't need to feel the other in this co-dependent way and instead can just be happy with the knowing that this love will never go away. But we are not there yet. I still have residual mixed feelings of unworthiness that needs to be addressed.

I don't even bother to put a label on who is the runner/chaser anymore, as I see it as both of us being on the exact path we need to be at this moment in time.

I know there is some residual longing for her...for her to express those feelings for me that she once had, but that is not what I need. I don't want to be a slave to needing someone thinking constantly about me.

I don't initiate as much anymore, and because of this, she doesn't either. I try my best to focus on myself and doing the things which I enjoy. It's really just the "needing the other to think of you a certain way" that is causing all of this strife and once you realize you don't need this person to think of you in any way in order to feel good about yourself, your relationship with person this will go much further.

That's my take on it.

[shoni7510]

Dear DaisySunshine,

I could feel your pain as I was reading your story. Ending a relationship is never easy for both parties and there is often residual feelings. I am happy to hear that you want to let go of this friendship as well and I wish you all the best.

[DaisySunshine]

Originally Posted by A human Being

Aw Daisy I really feel for you, I know how much rejection can hurt and I can feel your pain in your words, it's so difficult to deal with these feelings when they arise. I feel for your twin, too, he obviously still has strong feelings for you but he feels torn between you and his girlfriend, but I think you're taking the right course of action, for both of you. What I would say is that maybe it would be best if you did tell him that you're breaking off contact, and your reasons for doing so, or else you might well end up creating more heartache for both of you further down the line - best to communicate your feelings and intentions, I think, he might be hurt but I'm sure he'd understand.

For yourself, it's pretty much inevitable that those painful feelings of rejection are going to resurface again, especially when you have strong feelings for your twin - if and when they do, let them all out, have a good cry if you feel moved to do so (you mentioned journaling, that's also an excellent idea). And know that there are people who love you and care about you

(Sorry, I know you said you weren't after advice and opinions but I felt moved to give mine anyway :))

Thank you 🌼

My reason for not wanting to tell him is I think it would be harder on him. I think it would cause him a lot of hurt and anxiety to hear and I don't want to cause him that. I think he needs to figure this out on his own. He needs to realize my absence on his own amd reflect on that as well as his actions and self as a human. I just feel not telling him will give thw springboard to self discovery when he's ready. It may be days, weeks, months, but I think he needs this on his own.

Side note. He always came to me during panic and anxiety attacks. I realized it's been a month since he's talked about one with me. My hope is that he's using some of the things I tried to teach him to cope and isn't simply depending on her instead. If it becomes a serious relationship then yeah of course he will want her support, but I want to see him find strength from inside himself rather than being emotionally codependent.

[A human Being]

Originally Posted by DaisySunshine

Thank you 🌼

My reason for not wanting to tell him is I think it would be harder on him. I think it would cause him a lot of hurt and anxiety to hear and I don't want to cause him that. I think he needs to figure this out on his own. He needs to realize my absence on his own amd reflect on that as well as his actions and self as a human. I just feel not telling him will give thw springboard to self discovery when he's ready. It may be days, weeks, months, but I think he needs this on his own.

Side note. He always came to me during panic and anxiety attacks. I realized it's been a month since he's talked about one with me. My hope is that he's using some of the things I tried to teach him to cope and isn't simply depending on her instead. If it becomes a serious relationship then yeah of course he will want her support, but I want to see him find strength from inside himself rather than being emotionally codependent.

Ok, if that feels like the right course of action for you, go for it :) And I'm sure you're right that he does need time on his own to work things out, and like you say hopefully he is using some of the things you tried to teach him to cope, so that he can be emotionally independent.