Can't let go

When one of my children is struggling I worry. I can't let go. I know I'm not in the Tao but I can't seem to let go and let them work things out on their own. They are 18 and 20 for gosh sakes.

I know I can only change myself. I can't tell the magic words to make them happy...but I persist in this illusion and I end up miserable. I have a hard time being balanced, calm and happy when my family members aren't. I get my feelings hurt; I get angry. Perhaps Tao is too far from my personality to experience.

Tao is wonderful as a philosophical ideal but how does one become it? How do you just be Tao if you are a regular human being? It's frustrating for me to hear the lofty wisdom of Taoists who seem to have it all together while I can barely even meditate.

If there Is such a thing as reincarnation and 'Old Souls' I'm definitely a 'Young Soul' - maybe only 6 years old.