I don't understand why these things happen to me

[Guff779]

So I'm almost 30 and I hope I don't come across as selfish by making a thread like this.

I had a long term speech impediment which has healed and I can talk very good. People have called me articulate.

I have extremely bad luck with females, I've tried everything and still yet to experience a date, relationship or a friendship, even something nice and there is nothing wrong with me at all. If you seen me in real life you would call me handsome. 10 years I've been trying and I'm not too picky.

Online dating a few sites I've been on, I sent over 200 massages but not one of them have replied back and some of them even looked at my profile.

My friends send facebook messages to females and they get dates from there, when I do it, no body wants to message me back and they send any random message.

I've been to uni for 2 years but nothing materialised, I've approached females nothing materialises, no one in my network, social circle, community wants me for some reason. I go out many times and the universe doesn't bless it to me.

Add to the rubbing the salt in the wounds-I lost my mother when I was 11, my sister was very mean towards me(I didn't do nothing wrong), my grandma bullied me and my aunties were indifferent and everyone else has females friends expect me. Also I've been bullied by some of my uncles-they may use me as a punchbag.

I see everyone else with females and I can't understand what's happening. They all have hugs and everything.

Why do I have to endure this? I hope you can understand the pain. For a young man to endure this is very painful.

I don't understand-It can't be bad karma because I'm very successful with career, even more so.

[Rawnrr]

Attracting people is not really so much a spiritual matter.
You have to ask yourself a few honest questions like:
Why do you want to be in a relationship?
What about you is interesting for a woman?
What benefit would you give someone to be in a relationship with you?
Are you interested in a relationship or the woman you are with?

Look at all your past attempts wot interact with women and be honest with yourself where things went wrong.

[JustBe]

Originally Posted by Guff779

So I'm almost 30 and I hope I don't come across as selfish by making a thread like this.

I had a long term speech impediment which has healed and I can talk very good. People have called me articulate.

I have extremely bad luck with females, I've tried everything and still yet to experience a date, relationship or a friendship, even something nice and there is nothing wrong with me at all. If you seen me in real life you would call me handsome. 10 years I've been trying and I'm not too picky.

Online dating a few sites I've been on, I sent over 200 massages but not one of them have replied back and some of them even looked at my profile.

My friends send facebook messages to females and they get dates from there, when I do it, no body wants to message me back and they send any random message.

I've been to uni for 2 years but nothing materialised, I've approached females nothing materialises, no one in my network, social circle, community wants me for some reason. I go out many times and the universe doesn't bless it to me.

Add to the rubbing the salt in the wounds-I lost my mother when I was 11, my sister was very mean towards me(I didn't do nothing wrong), my grandma bullied me and my aunties were indifferent and everyone else has females friends expect me. Also I've been bullied by some of my uncles-they may use me as a punchbag.

I see everyone else with females and I can't understand what's happening. They all have hugs and everything.

Why do I have to endure this? I hope you can understand the pain. For a young man to endure this is very painful.

I don't understand-It can't be bad karma because I'm very successful with career, even more so.

Abandonment through the loss of our main source, whether through death or through a traumatic disconnection at the age you lost your mother, sets in place so many issues around love and loss. I sesnse in your energy a “desperate” to be loved state of being. In that trauma for a child especially one in reasoning stage/age it can be quite a struggle without that main source in our life, that loss is huge.

When my niece lost her father at this age,I watched her endure a difficult and hard journey associated with this loss and with struggles to build intimate lasting relationships with men as a partner. The journey to heal her issues deeper were calling her continuously. I supported her ongoing through this process, so I saw the affects she was sending outwardly in her pain body. In her desperation and needs, it always lead her to loss. In her issues and struggles at that early age, she created a desperate search for someone to love her, a great need to build that loss in her, when she lost her father.

This process your in is an opportunity for you to work on yourself. Build yourself as this love your seeking. In my experience of others in this way, you have an opportunity to go into yourself and begin the self love relationship deeper. Going into a relationship with desperation to have and be loved will lead you to face your own deficit anyway. This kind of relationship will ignite struggles in what you may and most likely will attract.

Originally Posted by JustBe

Abandonment through the loss of our main source, whether through death or through a traumatic disconnection at the age you lost your mother, sets in place so many issues around love and loss. I sesnse in your energy a “desperate” to be loved state of being. In that trauma for a child especially one in reasoning stage/age it can be quite a struggle without that main source in our life, that loss is huge.

When my niece lost her father at this age,I watched her endure a difficult and hard journey associated with this loss and with struggles to build intimate lasting relationships with men as a partner. The journey to heal her issues deeper were calling her continuously. I supported her ongoing through this process, so I saw the affects she was sending outwardly in her pain body. In her desperation and needs, it always lead her to loss. In her issues and struggles at that early age, she created a desperate search for someone to love her, a great need to build that loss in her, when she lost her father.

This process your in is an opportunity for you to work on yourself. Build yourself as this love your seeking. In my experience of others in this way, you have an opportunity to go into yourself and begin the self love relationship deeper. Going into a relationship with desperation to have and be loved will lead you to face your own deficit anyway. This kind of relationship will ignite struggles in what you may and most likely will attract.

Seriously wise advice.
It's a long and difficult climb when one's self-confidence is destroyed by things like bullying but that "work on oneself" is vital. There are several exercises to be done to lay the way to greater optimism and self-confidence. But it is a long haul.

Guf779, results won't happen overnight and it'll take persistence and effort sometimes in the face of adversity. It isn't always easy to slam the door on the past but you really can change things if you want to. Just be patient and persistent. KNOW that you are as entitled to happiness and joy in all of life as well as relationships as anyone else and make the decision soon that you'll be among them... then set to work. It's about visualising and affirmation which if done properly will increasingly override doubt. And about finding one or more things that you're good at so you can be self-confident in that/those things. (Not that you should try to impress people with your knowleedge/skills, just be unassuming and sure about them and yourself.)

I wish you well.

[inavalan]

Originally Posted by Guff779

So I'm almost 30 and I hope I don't come across as selfish by making a thread like this.

I had a long term speech impediment which has healed and I can talk very good. People have called me articulate.

I have extremely bad luck with females, I've tried everything and still yet to experience a date, relationship or a friendship, even something nice and there is nothing wrong with me at all. If you seen me in real life you would call me handsome. 10 years I've been trying and I'm not too picky.

Online dating a few sites I've been on, I sent over 200 massages but not one of them have replied back and some of them even looked at my profile.

My friends send facebook messages to females and they get dates from there, when I do it, no body wants to message me back and they send any random message.

I've been to uni for 2 years but nothing materialised, I've approached females nothing materialises, no one in my network, social circle, community wants me for some reason. I go out many times and the universe doesn't bless it to me.

Add to the rubbing the salt in the wounds-I lost my mother when I was 11, my sister was very mean towards me(I didn't do nothing wrong), my grandma bullied me and my aunties were indifferent and everyone else has females friends expect me. Also I've been bullied by some of my uncles-they may use me as a punchbag.

I see everyone else with females and I can't understand what's happening. They all have hugs and everything.

Why do I have to endure this? I hope you can understand the pain. For a young man to endure this is very painful.

I don't understand-It can't be bad karma because I'm very successful with career, even more so.

I guess your situation is caused by your karma. You can have "bad karma" even of you're successful in your career.

You can get out of this by changing the way you think, and consequently the way you act, which impacts the way you're perceived.

You can try to meet girls through the girlfriends of some of your closer buddies. Ask! When that doesn't pan out, follow up with your buddy and his girlfriend. Ask them openly why the girl rejected you. Don't be defensive if you want to learn the truth, no matter how unfair and unjust might seem to you.

[Guff779]

Thank you very much everyone or your kind replies and for your advice and suggestions.

I will take all the advice and suggestions on board.

[iamthat]

Hi Guff779

So you are handsome, articulate and successful, yet you cannot get a date. Seems strange.

Perhaps there is karma involved - maybe you have lessons to learn from being alone. Or maybe you have to learn to stop seeing yourself as a victim of other people.

As others have suggested, look within and work on yourself. If you can love yourself then others will be more attracted to you.

I am no expert on women but it seems as if women are attracted to men who will listen and who are interested in them. And women especially seem to like a man who can make them laugh. Do you have these qualities?

You can always use the power of the imagination to visualise yourself in a loving relationship. If there is someone out there for you then don't worry about how you will meet her, just trust that it will happen when the time is right.

On a practical level, what are your interests? Can you join a group of people with similar interests? Get to know people who have something in common with you, and let them get to know you. Who knows what could happen.

Good luck.

[Guff779]

Thanks Iamthat.

There's a lot of females in my club that I go to single, I haven't really asked them out.

Yes I am a man with good character, with good qualities like I'm sensible, honest, trustworthy, loyal, faithful, attentative, plesant, smart, a good listener and much more etc.

Maybe I need to believe in myself more and feel worthy which I do not.

[Jainarayan]

Originally Posted by Guff779

Maybe I need to believe in myself more and feel worthy which I do not.

It's possible you are projecting that without realizing it. Your body language, tone of voice, manner of speech, may be saying "stay away, you won't like me". We send all kinds of signals without realizing it. Someone who works with interpersonal skills might be able to give you a critique and method to change what may be the problem.

[Aethera]

I think it could have to do with a deep seeded core belief that you still hold onto that may affect that process.

Like for example, if you hold onto a belief that you think you aren't good enough, it's cause of the doubt that's seeded in that belief. Just to use that, that will work against what you may want to happen, like you may want to have a steady friendship and even that would affect how that would go. Cause of that core belief.. you have to transmute the doubt and that believe, for one that will help you.