My World

Hi Everyone

I am fairly new to this site and I thought after reading some of the experiences others have had I would like to share one with you.

4 years ago a lost my grandfather who was very dear to me. He was the only father I ever knew, my grandad and my best friend. I lived with him for the biggest part of my life. So clearly when he had past away I felt like I had lost 3 people in one day. He had been in and out of hospital throughout my childhood. The scariest thing was I always new before anybody else when he was going to go into hospital, I used to sense it. As a child I blamed myself for him having to go into hospital and always thought that this day would be it.

When he did eventually go to the other side, I felt guilty because I didn't greive. I don't know if it was because when I saw him at the chapel of rest he looked younger and out of pain. I remember reading a letter to him that I had wrote out to put in his coffin so he could take it with him, as a thank you for always being there for me. As I did so, I found myself whispering, because I felt there was someone in the room, I kept turning round hoping to see someone, but there wasn't anyone there.

After the funeral, I felt strange but happy as if he was there beside me, like he was still alive. Up until I had a dream about him, in which I felt it was his way of saying that goodbye, and that I can cope with life without him now. Since this day I have felt no presence and haven't dreamt of him since.

I really believe that he has left my side forever, and at times I feel really lost without him, I miss his smile, his laugh and his ways of thinking. HE WAS MY WORLD

Thank you for letting me share this story with you

Love and Light
Angel xxx

hi angel

i was exactly the same with my grandma as you was always knew when she was ill and had to get on train asap was with her too when she passed was sad but knew we had to let her go she is still in my thoughts everyday dont think your grandad has left you ask for him i am sure you will pick something up from him
love chi xxxxxxxxxxxx

Hi angel

I lost both my parents in the space of 8 months. My mum died in Feb 2002 and my dad died in November of the same year.

It was a living nightmare to lose them both and I miss them every day, but I know what you mean by not grieving.

I still to this day feel guilt for not grieving them in the traditional sense. I know that they are happy now that they are together again as they loved each other very much and I felt a sense of peace for them. Although I was very sad when it happened, it was for my benefit because I wouldn't be seeing them for many years.

I always have a very practical mind when it comes to death as I feel that it is just time for the next experience and how can that be so sad?

Some people think I'm strong, but it is my belief that creates this illusion.

I don't have any psychic ability so I don't know if I'm right or wrong, I just have a sense that they are not gone forever. x

Hi Chi

Thank you for your kind words. My Grandad is always in my thoughts, I have tried asking for him, especially in my times of need. It has only been recently I have stopped. I think I will try again. There is sometimes when something good has happened I always say it is my grandads work, but I never know for sure. I just like to keep him alive I think.

Love and blessings
Angel xx

Hi Phoebie

I am so sorry to hear that you lost both your parents, it must have been so hard for you.

I think it is great how you seem to be coping by believing them to be on another journey together. Now that you have mentioned it, perhaps thats why I don't feel my grandad with me anymore, he has gone onto bigger and better things now.

I would like to think that he will come back to collect me when it is my turn to start mine.

I do think you are a strong person Phoebie, not many people would cope with losing 2 parents in the same year.

Thank you for sharing your story with me

love and blessings
Angel xx

Losing someone dear to us is never easy. But know that if you hold them in your heart and soul they will always be a part of your life. I'd like to share a poem I wrote several years ago when a friend's elderly mother died.

Those Left To Mourn

By John L Patton

The passing of someone for whom we truly cared
Seldom will remind us of what all we’ve shared
Rather the countless things that we shall miss
Death never becomes a moment of soulful bliss
And though it is a natural transition of life
It burdens us all with a mantle of sad strife
But while common sense seems to be all asunder
Pause just a bit to study the spiritual wonder

For they are still with us in many small ways
They have only gone to a more peaceful place
Truly as near as an afternoon’s contemplation
Time spent ever so warmly in quiet meditation
You’ll feel the harsh numbing shock of dismay
Pause and let their spirit comfort your day
And think for a moment of the dearly departed
Would they really want you to be so dishearted

As the shock wears off there must be some way
Of finding a reason to carry on day after day
Remembering the joy that the two of you shared
Recalling the bonds that drew you to be paired
The rhythm that fueled your special stage play
And you’ll be able to connect the same old way
Memories alone can take you to a certain place
Where you’ll still see that sweet smiling face

Grief is an emotion that never does quite heal
The harshest of elements that we’ll ever feel
The sense of aloneness visits and won’t leave
With a hollow emptiness that you can’t cleave
But know that their agony is now in the past
And a new destination for them has been cast
There’s more to living than mere mortal death
They have been endowed with spiritual breath.

to Tiltjlp

Thank you so much for that poem. What that poem says does make perfect sense.

Without sounding patronising, the poem you wrote is fantastic.

Thank you once again for your kind words.

Love and blessings

Angel x