Preasure to Drink

Heaven · #1 17-08-2014, 11:41 AM

I don't know if I'm been a drama queen. I can't help it, I'm very upset at this. Yesterday I attended a party at my friend's house. Now I'm not much of a drinker, I might drink one drink or two once in a blue moon if I'm very stressed, but just for fun I don't like to get drunk. I can't stand getting drunk. I have 2 babies that I have to take care of and getting drunk is not on my list at all. When my husband drinks he gets obnoxious and he annoys the heck out of me, between him and my best buddy where trying to get me to drink liquor (by which I hate). One thing I can stand in life is to get pressure to do something I already said I don't want to do. I know they where both drunk already so I understand they where not acting normal, but I'm just hurt by this. I would never pressure anyone to drink, I never have. I expect this from my friend but not from my husband. I'm so upset at him right now. I don't know how to handle this type of situation! I mean am I being too sensitive or what? These type of situations don't happen often is just once in a while, even so it doesn't happen much when it does happen it gets on my last nerve.

John32241 · #2 17-08-2014, 12:28 PM

Hi,

I can relate to that experience. Those that pressure us to do something we already said we did not want to do are operating from self interest. It is like a self preservation state of mind. In this case by getting you to drink with them you would some how justify their self abuse.

I am not sure if a person is rational enough when drunk to get the message. After the fact it can be hard to explain that 'no thanks' is not an invitation to 'try harder'. I do not think you are being too sensitive about this subject. I feel the same way myself.

John

Heaven · #3 17-08-2014, 07:49 PM

Thanks for the comment John! At least I don't feel like I'm the only one.

I know for a fact a drunk person just won't get the message, and that's the annoying part. I know that they wanted all of us to enjoy the moment but I just feel like I don't need to be drunk to have fun.

Kaere · #4 17-08-2014, 07:53 PM

My inlaws pressure me to drink and they seem to take it as an insult if I don't drink with them. So now, if the occasion arises and they offer, I say I will get my own and that's that. If they see me with a cup of something in my hand, they leave me be. Might be worth a shot for you? And of course expressing your feelings to your husband about it, when he's no longer hung over. He should be listening to your concerns about this imo.

LillyBelle · #5 17-08-2014, 10:56 PM

I don't blame you. I never drink to get drunk and don't like the idea of getting drunk. I am 24 years old and have never been drunk in my life. I hope I never do,either. The whole experience sounds absolutely awful to me!
Perhaps you should speak with your husband and friend and tell them how you feel when they treat you that way.

Heaven · #6 18-08-2014, 12:37 AM

Kaere & LillyBelle - I tried the cup in the hand so they would leave me alone, but they were watching me like a hawk! You would think he would listen about my concerns but it just enters one ear and it leaves the other. I don't mind one cocktail drink, just one. I can not stand liquor drinks like whiskey, vodka or tequila (disgusting). I always like to be alert and I don't like the drowsy feeling and then getting sick as a dog after drinking too much, I mean that's no fun for me. It's not me, I'm not a drinker. Next time he does that to me I'm leaving him behind.

LillyBelle · #7 18-08-2014, 05:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by deyheaven1979

Kaere & LillyBelle - I tried the cup in the hand so they would leave me alone, but they were watching me like a hawk! You would think he would listen about my concerns but it just enters one ear and it leaves the other. I don't mind one cocktail drink, just one. I can not stand liquor drinks like whiskey, vodka or tequila (disgusting). I always like to be alert and I don't like the drowsy feeling and then getting sick as a dog after drinking too much, I mean that's no fun for me. It's not me, I'm not a drinker. Next time he does that to me I'm leaving him behind.

I'm sorry to hear he won't listen to you. Is it possible to avoid being around them when they choose to get drunk?

#8 18-08-2014, 01:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by deyheaven1979

I don't know if I'm been a drama queen. I can't help it, I'm very upset at this. Yesterday I attended a party at my friend's house. Now I'm not much of a drinker, I might drink one drink or two once in a blue moon if I'm very stressed, but just for fun I don't like to get drunk. I can't stand getting drunk. I have 2 babies that I have to take care of and getting drunk is not on my list at all. When my husband drinks he gets obnoxious and he annoys the heck out of me, between him and my best buddy where trying to get me to drink liquor (by which I hate). One thing I can stand in life is to get pressure to do something I already said I don't want to do. I know they where both drunk already so I understand they where not acting normal, but I'm just hurt by this. I would never pressure anyone to drink, I never have. I expect this from my friend but not from my husband. I'm so upset at him right now. I don't know how to handle this type of situation! I mean am I being too sensitive or what? These type of situations don't happen often is just once in a while, even so it doesn't happen much when it does happen it gets on my last nerve.

Likewise, a no from me usually means N.O., so I feel your frustration. It could be that your husband was trying to seek approval or validation from you that his behaviour is alright by trying to get you to drink as well. Perhaps he felt sorry for you for being left out? Maybe he wanted to make you drink to show his buddy that you're an awesome wife? Not entirely sure but social/peer pressure is usually a means of some kind of validation. Maybe a talk to find the reason behind it when he is sober might help?

Never been in this situation, but I'd make sure my other half knows my strict opinion on alcohol and either not be there when he's drunk or feign total ignorance at his drunk behaviour. I don't have the best opinion of alcoholism...tsk tsk.

#9 18-08-2014, 12:44 PM

Not too sensitive at all. You are your selfhood and if you don't like tipsiness, don't do it. Resist the pressure. Show your disdain with love-withdrawal (not to your babies of course). Depending on how your husband reacts to rebukes you could tell him that as a mother with children to look after, you have to act responsibly which includes not getting drunk and suffering the after-effects.

Great shame when this happens. People can be such a nuisance wanting to rule what others do when it is of little import to them.

..

Faith33 · #10 19-08-2014, 08:18 AM

Aww, dey....
With some people, you need to give it to them straight ...no coddling...
If you don't want to drink, you don't have to...it's as simple as that.

Being a mother means being alert 24/7...it's our responsibility towards our children to keep them safe from danger, at all times,no matter what the cost or sacrifice...this is something I never have nor will ever negotiate.

Applauding your stance as a mother ....firmly stand your ground..(((hugs)))