Removing someone from your life

Originally Posted by cheeky_monkey

I have the opposite problem, i suppose you could say i am one of those 'friends' old friends of mine wanted to remove from their life.

I sort of understand why, i was miserable alot and stuck in a day dream fantasy land. I wish my old friends and i could meet up once in a while but i was basically told that they would prefer just to be facebook friends. Fair enough, it hurts since we were friends at school for years and i defended them against other people, but i suppose i can see their point too.

I hope you manage to remove these friends so that both you and they are not hurt in the process Sparkle.

Bestest wishes

cheeky

Thanks Cheeky Monkey,

I was sorry to read this. How are you now? You never know maybe in the future you might all come together but really not nice what has happened to you. Are you feeling in happier times now? x

[John32241]

I like that last thought the most.

All relationships involve energetic exchanges. Those that are a drain on us are feeding on us because they do not know how to energetically care for them self.

When you focus on what a person needs to do for them self they will eventually avoid you like a plague. Seek inner wisdom on how best to do such a thing because dis-honoring their choice to be this way is not appropriate.

Best Wishes!!
John

[Miss Hepburn]

Originally Posted by Sparkle

Out of interest Miss Hepburn is that just your own analysis on them being wounded as a child or is that coming through in a spiritual sense? I had a reading a number of years ago prior to knowing this person and I was told something like that in a reading I had.

Hi Sparkle,
For me saying that about "him"- it came from decades of experience with people and of course, myself...and
being surrounded by therapist friends for decades and learning ALOT about compassion for people because of their "damaged" hearts.

We are all like babies, sweet and good ---but things are done to us that are just wrong...not being held as we cry as an infant - being slapped when are late from kindergarten ---these are deep wounds that are acted out later as rude, mean, self destructive, etc., type behaviors.

Doesn't take a rocket scientist to feel their pain and love them as they are pushing you down in the sandbox.

But, still if they will not get help to resolve their pain...we have to drop them sometimes bec we may not be equipped to help them - we are not the Salvation Army and we are not psycho-therapists able to handle them.

So we just get out of their way - knowing the time will come when an awakening will happen.
Us leaving them may spark that change...and telling them, 'When you resolve your pain in therapy and stop hurting others - come back and I will celebrate your healing with you.
But, you have work to do and I'm sorry you have been so hurt.'
Maybe in a letter.

I really rambled there....

Originally Posted by Sparkle

Is a little scary but right now I just want to be alone and sort things out before moving forward. I don't want to be into a relationship too soon I want to see to some things of my own first. After that, yes I will be looking bring good people into my life. Had enough of those who take the mick.

Thanks.

When I say "new people" I mean new friends. So many people put all the importance in having a partner, and then attract the wrong sort of person.

When my life changed radically and I found myself suddenly single I decided to not "look" for a guy, this was not going to be my focus. What I was going to focus on was being the best ME I could be. Find myself, understand myself, love myself. Oh and meet as many people to make as many friends as possible. Yeah, I went out with a few guys for a short while that was fun and heartbreaking at times, but I continued to just look for freinds.

I now have a wonderful circle of friends, and from them came a great guy... and amazingly even better friends.

Partners make us feel safe on one level... but there is always the fear that they will leave and our world will collapse... if we have lots of friends around us then we do not rely on one person to hold up our world. We may never meet "the one" but we can meet hundreds of friends, all we have to do is go out and find them

Originally Posted by cheeky_monkey

I have the opposite problem, i suppose you could say i am one of those 'friends' old friends of mine wanted to remove from their life.

I sort of understand why, i was miserable alot and stuck in a day dream fantasy land. I wish my old friends and i could meet up once in a while but i was basically told that they would prefer just to be facebook friends. Fair enough, it hurts since we were friends at school for years and i defended them against other people, but i suppose i can see their point too.

I hope you manage to remove these friends so that both you and they are not hurt in the process Sparkle.

Bestest wishes

cheeky

We grow out of friends, particularly friends we had when we were at school. We change so much in the 15 years after we leave school that it takes a very strong bond to keep those friendships together through that time. Let go of people that are no longer close, don't cling to friendships that don't work (unless all it takes is a little effort).. go out and find new firends, people who understand you and connect with you on many levels.

Thanks to everybody who has posted. Will update you all later. :-) x