Should i ask whats up?

[Hazel]

I've been on and off with this boy whos a year younger than me for the last 3 years? but we broke up a little while ago over someone saying he was gonna dump me - we made up, or so i thought.

He started ignoring me and has been for months but now he's giving mixed signals and sometimes acts like he did in the first year we knew each other but hadnt gone out yet but mostly ignores me.

I dont know wether to ask him whats up or not and need advice?
Thanks from Hazel

Hazel, if the situation is uncomfortable or painful for you then it might be best for you to find someone else altogether, that you can share love with. If he's sending you mixed signals then by all means ask "what's up", but from you saying "mostly he's ignoring me" it sounds as if you need to move on. It's never easy I know but you will find someone, it's very difficult to have feelings for someone who doesn't return them as I'm sure we've all experienced at one time or another, someone else out there deserves your attention :)

[Sapphirez]

maybe you could check out your signature for this one


well, in any event it sounds like neither of you is where you ought to be to come together so either you both need to work on yourselves more and wind up together, or wind up apart. I didn't have a boyfriend at age 14 or 13 so I won't try to expound too much.. but I do know that it's true you have to love yourself before you can really love someone else.. and it seems as far as he's concerned at least that it's the same with respecting yourself..

I think females are naturally 2 years more mature than males in general, so at such a young age dating someone a year younger than you is kind of like treading in shallow water... depending on the circumstances it may just not be possible

maybe if you told us some positive things rather than just illustrating how juvenile he is it'd be easier to give you advice about this.

I personally like to be honest and upfront.. I choose that for me

[Hazel]

Originally Posted by Sapphirez

some positive things

Well positive things are he's sorta smart about spanish things, makes me laugh, comforted me when i was down, knew what it was like to be an 'outcast' in our school so helped me with that

Originally Posted by Hazel

I've been on and off with this boy whos a year younger than me for the last 3 years? but we broke up a little while ago over someone saying he was gonna dump me - we made up, or so i thought.

He started ignoring me and has been for months but now he's giving mixed signals and sometimes acts like he did in the first year we knew each other but hadnt gone out yet but mostly ignores me.

I dont know wether to ask him whats up or not and need advice?
Thanks from Hazel

Hi Hazel,

I'm going to avoid the question of his relationship completely for right and offer this bit of wisdom (well, I don't know if it's wisdom...):

From my perspective, there is never anything wrong with being up front and with communication. NEVER. It all comes down to how you do it and what you do with the information.

Now to the relationship: What exactly do you want from this guy? What would be the point of asking him what's up?

With Love,
Spirit Monk

[Hazel]

Originally Posted by spiritmonk

Hi Hazel,

I'm going to avoid the question of his relationship completely for right and offer this bit of wisdom (well, I don't know if it's wisdom...):

From my perspective, there is never anything wrong with being up front and with communication. NEVER. It all comes down to how you do it and what you do with the information.

Now to the relationship: What exactly do you want from this guy? What would be the point of asking him what's up?

With Love,
Spirit Monk

I dont really know what i want..him as someone who can be there for me i guess, and asking him what's up would put my mind at rest from his behaviour?

Originally Posted by Hazel

I dont really know what i want..him as someone who can be there for me i guess, and asking him what's up would put my mind at rest from his behaviour?

Then go for it. Put your mind at ease and ask the question, but just remember that the answer you get back may not be way you are expecting.

With Love,
Spirit Monk

you wont know, until you ask! Good Luck!

At 13 it is likely he isn’t ready for a serious relationship. If he WANTS to get back together w/ you, that’s OK, but don’t overly concerned about this. Enjoy dating other guys & don’t fret about past relationships.

Many a person has realized that the people they thought were desirable romantically when they were young are not the same type that they would consider desirable at 25. There is no need to rush things. Many a woman who rushed into making a boyfriend permanent when they were young wishes they had given the relationship more time.

Relationships seldom work unless both people are invested in them. Pushing him to resume it will probably have the opposite result. You can ask him directly about this, but if a guy is interested they are there very willingly, eager to spend time w/ you. Many guys will feel this is obvious. You can ask the question, but don’t be surprised if you get an evasive answer like, I’ve been busy w/ abc-xyz, as many people aren’t comfortable w/ this type of direct question. Do you really want to hear an honest answer such as I really don’t like you enough to be a steady boyfriend or I like you, but just don’t want to be in an exclusive relationship? He really doesn’t own you an answer & he might not really know himself.

As we date different people we can find allot of people that are fun to be w/ & may have qualities we appreciate, but this isn’t all that it takes for a permanent relationship. When it is a really good fit for a serious relationship you won’t have to wonder or push the guy to be there.

[Hazel]

Originally Posted by mattie

At 13 it is likely he isn’t ready for a serious relationship. If he WANTS to get back together w/ you, that’s OK, but don’t overly concerned about this. Enjoy dating other guys & don’t fret about past relationships.

Many a person has realized that the people they thought were desirable romantically when they were young are not the same type that they would consider desirable at 25. There is no need to rush things. Many a woman who rushed into making a boyfriend permanent when they were young wishes they had given the relationship more time.

Relationships seldom work unless both people are invested in them. Pushing him to resume it will probably have the opposite result. You can ask him directly about this, but if a guy is interested they are there very willingly, eager to spend time w/ you. Many guys will feel this is obvious. You can ask the question, but don’t be surprised if you get an evasive answer like, I’ve been busy w/ abc-xyz, as many people aren’t comfortable w/ this type of direct question. Do you really want to hear an honest answer such as I really don’t like you enough to be a steady boyfriend or I like you, but just don’t want to be in an exclusive relationship? He really doesn’t own you an answer & he might not really know himself.

As we date different people we can find allot of people that are fun to be w/ & may have qualities we appreciate, but this isn’t all that it takes for a permanent relationship. When it is a really good fit for a serious relationship you won’t have to wonder or push the guy to be there.

He's 14 and im going on to 15 actually but thanks