Loved one's negativity affecting me

[heartbeats]

My mom is a pretty pessimistic person and what's even worse is she talks out loud all the time, whether it's to herself or wanting me to hear what she is saying. She complains constantly, practically every other word is a complaint. Her voice and the constant chatter and complaints get so much on my nerves, it's hard to live in the same space with her and I find myself becoming very mean and angry a lot of the time. I do my best to drown her out with headphones, make jokes when she is acting angry, or just ignore what she says, but it doesn't help much and I usually have to resort to some kind of yelling or mean-ness, I think she almost enjoys being yelled at and put in her place, maybe enjoys the confrontation I'm not sure, but living with my mom I think makes it hard for me to attract great things to my life. How can I overcome this? What else can I do?

[LadyLynx]

OH. MY. GOSH!! Heartbeats, I could have written your post--I'm in the exact same predicament except, instead of yelling back at her, I tend to be a smart a$$ and/or passive aggressive. Anyway, I too feel like my mother's negativity affects my ability to attract positive things into my life so I'm looking forward to reading the responses to your thread.

Sorry I don't have any great advice! Just know you're not alone. :)

[blackraven]

Originally Posted by heartbeats

My mom is a pretty pessimistic person and what's even worse is she talks out loud all the time, whether it's to herself or wanting me to hear what she is saying. She complains constantly, practically every other word is a complaint. Her voice and the constant chatter and complaints get so much on my nerves, it's hard to live in the same space with her and I find myself becoming very mean and angry a lot of the time. I do my best to drown her out with headphones, make jokes when she is acting angry, or just ignore what she says, but it doesn't help much and I usually have to resort to some kind of yelling or mean-ness, I think she almost enjoys being yelled at and put in her place, maybe enjoys the confrontation I'm not sure, but living with my mom I think makes it hard for me to attract great things to my life. How can I overcome this? What else can I do?

Welcome to the forum, heartbeats. I don't know how old you are, but if it's possible, perhaps you could start looking into moving out? I came from a very complaining family and we all grew conditioned into being complainers ourselves when we were out of the house. Took some very positive people in my life that cared enough about me, to point out my own complaining. I hadn't even realized my nature back then. Even today when I get back with my family of origin, I have to stay very aware of what I'm about to say in response to complaining. Complaining and being downtrodden/negative can indeed bring a person down. After all, one is what he/she thinks and if all ones thoughts are filled with the complaining of others, something has got to give to break the cycle so that one can start to hear the positive inner voice that is full of optimism. Best of luck to you heartbeats.

[heartbeats]

Originally Posted by blackraven

Welcome to the forum, heartbeats. I don't know how old you are, but if it's possible, perhaps you could start looking into moving out? I came from a very complaining family and we all grew conditioned into being complainers ourselves when we were out of the house. Took some very positive people in my life that cared enough about me, to point out my own complaining. I hadn't even realized my nature back then. Even today when I get back with my family of origin, I have to stay very aware of what I'm about to say in response to complaining. Complaining and being downtrodden/negative can indeed bring a person down. After all, one is what he/she thinks and if all ones thoughts are filled with the complaining of others, something has got to give to break the cycle so that one can start to hear the positive inner voice that is full of optimism. Best of luck to you heartbeats.

Thank you very much blackraven and best of luck to you as well! I really do my best and I've changed my mother a lot over the years but it still isn't enough, unfortunately at this time I can't move, but I'm hoping pretty soon. It just makes me a little sad because it's been years of living like this and I wonder about how I will handle things once I'm married and have my kids, she may still somehow find ways to complain in front of them and I want to raise my kids with complete positivity and knowing about LOA. I hope I won't have to limit their interactions with each other. To be fair, I've changed my mother a lot of the years by telling her about the law of attraction and telling her my stories and experiences, she has begun to believe on some level I can tell, but she doesn't listen to youtube tracks and keep up with it like I do so her positive moments are be short lived. I'm not sure if I could get her to listen to the youtube information and if it would even be understood by her because she speaks another language. I think if she would just listen to this stuff and understand, it might change her even a little bit more and make her more aware.....

HEY, you know what?! I'm going to try to find stuff on LOA in her language online and just hand it to her and sort of force her to listen and give it a try. There's gotta be stuff out there in her language... I also think maybe I should manifest something somewhat big to myself by first telling her the intention and then wait for it so she can witness the miracle happen. Maybe, then she will believe.

This would be a good idea to try for you LadyLynx! I just sort of had this epiphany now while writing...don't know why I didn't just try it sooner lol, seems sort of like a logical simple step to try.

[LadyLynx]

Originally Posted by heartbeats

HEY, you know what?! I'm going to try to find stuff on LOA in her language online and just hand it to her and sort of force her to listen and give it a try. There's gotta be stuff out there in her language... I also think maybe I should manifest something somewhat big to myself by first telling her the intention and then wait for it so she can witness the miracle happen. Maybe, then she will believe.

This would be a good idea to try for you LadyLynx! I just sort of had this epiphany now while writing...don't know why I didn't just try it sooner lol, seems sort of like a logical simple step to try.

Heartbeats, I've tried to share LOA videos, articles, etc. w/ her but she isn't interested. She thinks it's some kind of cult (Lol) that brainwashes people so she just wants to stick to her ways. She just isn't the type of person I resonate with but I'm moving out soon and I've decided the only person I can change is myself. So, I'll do my best to meditate as much as possible, not interact with her, and try to think of what I'm grateful for when I feel her negative vibes.

[Glacier Serenade]

I completely understand what you're going through heartbeats! It does make it difficult to stay onto your path of positivity when you are stuck with negatively thinking people daily. My mum is single and is stressed out a lot and has many reasons for this but she's just not as good at keeping her frustration inside as I am. I do get frustrated too but I'm getting better at it, and the only real issue I have with negative emotions now is only reciprocated anger/frustration, but that's getting better for me too. I have thought about moving out a lot too but as I am on the autistic spectrum I find it difficult to do many adult things and often make mistakes or forget things so I'm a bit wary. Also I would rather find a job first and then move into a flat or something, hopefully this year, I think it's time!

[blackraven]

Originally Posted by heartbeats

Thank you very much blackraven and best of luck to you as well! I really do my best and I've changed my mother a lot over the years but it still isn't enough, unfortunately at this time I can't move, but I'm hoping pretty soon. It just makes me a little sad because it's been years of living like this and I wonder about how I will handle things once I'm married and have my kids, she may still somehow find ways to complain in front of them and I want to raise my kids with complete positivity and knowing about LOA. I hope I won't have to limit their interactions with each other. To be fair, I've changed my mother a lot of the years by telling her about the law of attraction and telling her my stories and experiences, she has begun to believe on some level I can tell, but she doesn't listen to youtube tracks and keep up with it like I do so her positive moments are be short lived. I'm not sure if I could get her to listen to the youtube information and if it would even be understood by her because she speaks another language. I think if she would just listen to this stuff and understand, it might change her even a little bit more and make her more aware.....

HEY, you know what?! I'm going to try to find stuff on LOA in her language online and just hand it to her and sort of force her to listen and give it a try. There's gotta be stuff out there in her language... I also think maybe I should manifest something somewhat big to myself by first telling her the intention and then wait for it so she can witness the miracle happen. Maybe, then she will believe.

This would be a good idea to try for you LadyLynx! I just sort of had this epiphany now while writing...don't know why I didn't just try it sooner lol, seems sort of like a logical simple step to try.

heartbeats - Such a positive response and full of great ideas for helping your mom with LOA youtubes! Sounds like you really care deeply about your mom and your relationship.

When I had my son I had the same concerns that you have about the future. I did have to choose to limit interactions with my son's grandparents. But for me it wasn't as difficult as one might suspect because my parents were not coming around much anyway. They didn't approve of the person I married. Oh well, such is life. Anyway, we raised our son with as much positiveness and self-esteem building as possible, with limited negativity or complaining. I was very conscious of that aspect of how I was conditioned in raising my own child.

He is a beacon of light, I always say, because he is the most positive person I know. His grandparents have come around over the years and, although they still complain a lot, they see in him aspects that they are drawn to. He recognizes as an adult that people aren't perfect and he accepts and loves his grandparents just the way they are. They even act different around him; much more positive. It rubs off on people.

I think you're on the right track, heartbeats!

[Joyce]

heartbeats & Ladylynx, the first thing I want to ask is have you considered the possibility ((where there's a will there's always a way)) of moving to your own place. Whether your mom's enjoy the way things are or not, YOU DO NOT. Why would you stay in such a situation? Financial? If she NEEDS you to care for her, then it seems you'd be in control of a suitable situation. Since I don't know the situation, it's hard to help you any more than this.

Continuing to live there is YOUR choice. Sounds pretty harsh, but it is the truth. Search yourself for your answers; they will come. Pray & be well ~ Joyce

[LadyLynx]

Originally Posted by Joyce

heartbeats & Ladylynx, the first thing I want to ask is have you considered the possibility ((where there's a will there's always a way)) of moving to your own place. Whether your mom's enjoy the way things are or not, YOU DO NOT. Why would you stay in such a situation? Financial? If she NEEDS you to care for her, then it seems you'd be in control of a suitable situation. Since I don't know the situation, it's hard to help you any more than this.

Continuing to live there is YOUR choice. Sounds pretty harsh, but it is the truth. Search yourself for your answers; they will come. Pray & be well ~ Joyce

Yes, it's financial... If I could afford to live on my own (right now) there's no way I would be living with her / dealing with this situation.

And, I think Heartbeats reasons are financial too but I will let her respond for herself.

[nellie]

My mom is very similar, at least sounds like it. I live abroad and we mostly contact via Skype and every single conversation starts with some complaining on her side.
I mostly just want for her to start attracting better things in her life cause I love her dearly and I know that all the good energy I try to send her won't change a thing with this attitude.
I think there isn't much we can do unfortunately. We can try to inspire people but we won't change their mind and if someone chooses to stay negative they will :(