Do you think that people are exempt from being toxic just "because they're family?"

[ReturningMoon]

Hi everyone. This time of year really gets me thinking about this. In my case I have an aunt (my mother's sister in law.) She's super Catholic but in a zealous way. She tried to convert me. This is why I removed her from my life about 7 or 8 years ago.
I'll just keep the story short but I consider her toxic. I don't respond to any of her emails. Do you think just because she's family that exempts her from being toxic? In my opinion any relationship that requires you to compromise yourself isn't worth it. There may be people who say "Well sometimes you have to compromise." I personally don't agree though.

[Tukaram]

You do not get to choose your family, but you do get to choose who associate with. Family does not get a pass, just because they are family. There are members of my family that I see on holidays only, and that is more than enough. There are a couple I do not want to see that often.

I think I am quicker to cut off family now because when I was younger I was forced to compromise - I realized I do not have to do that. My mental health, and my feelings, are more important than "keeping the peace" with toxic people.

[AngelBlue]

Hi. They absolutely do NOT get a free pass because they are family. We are dealing with a very toxic person in our family just now but she is an in law and not blood thank goodness and hopefully we will have her out of lives soon. I cannot even begin to describe what she has put my brother through with her lies and deceit to all of us.
There is NO excuse at all for this type of behaviour from anyone, let alone family.

[Traveler]

No one gets a pass on being toxic. Even family.

[LightAngel]

Originally Posted by Traveler

No one gets a pass on being toxic. Even family.

I agree.

As a child, it is very difficult to accept this because you depend on your family.

That's why children from dysfunctional families always suffer.


We need to build a world that protects children from harm - but, we also need to create a better world that can help damaged adults.


I think I want to add one more thought - if you are a creature that always wants to see the good in other creatures then it can also be very painful to accept that some creature doesn't have empathy and compassion. Some people are born that way (I see them as handicapped) and therefore they can't help themselves, but you still have to protect yourself and others from their harm.

[Redchic12]

ReturningM. Run as fast as you can and don’t look back.

In my opinion, you owe her nothing and she owes you nothing. You just happen to be born in to the same family. So what!

[Native spirit]

I always say Friends are the people you pick yourself family are not



Namaste

[Starman]

In my opinion “family” is much more than blood. Blood makes us related but trust and a connection makes us family. Maybe you are struggling with this because of your concept of “family.”

There are all sorts of families; step-family, blended family, extended family, same-sex family, foster family, etc., and our in-laws who are not blood related are also considered family by marriage.

Often I think of the human race as one big dysfunctional family. But in my opinion our true family are those we trust and feel connected to. Your aunt will most likely continue until someone confronts her.

[Native spirit]

I have to agree with that


Namaste

[dream jo]

I don't know I can't I'm just one because the only time my dad's family speak to me is a funerals because they've got to say hello to me because if it's certain funeral directors doing a funeral there are nice to me but anyone else they don't know me any time I've got nobody in the dawn care the excuse says I've got nobody they don't want me to impart is Armin and bothers me to look at was my size or I've been pretty a beautiful look at because I don't reimbursed By Me by photos being disgusting and viled through a cut of only a realised I'm a nice person to me it's what inside the person that comes away my mom and dad brought me up
But the only time my dad said a family speak to me is a funerals and they were time they want nothing to tell me and that's a really upset my sister the way they treat me and I add my eyes opened up and that lot and my sister is right the army time is spoke to me it's a few and most and they were time they can't get away cook it for me but I think it's my psychic ability I've had since it was born they're scared in case I mentioned things because to it because spirit will give it things won't realize now give it off