Upset, disappointed

[gravitysrainbow]

I've been in a relationship for about a year and a half, and I'm starting to get that sinking feeling that I've been wasting my time and energy. For the last six months, I've been doing a lot of self improvement and trying to become a better person. I've made a lot of progress both emotionally and spiritually, but it seems like my relationship is suffering. Sometimes, I feel "less than", or like even though I'm trying my best and working on the things that seem most important to me, it's not enough.

I feel trapped, unloved, and unsatisfactory, and this makes me feel upset. When I get upset, I know that I have two options: cry until I feel better or hold it in until I self destruct. I've been crying, and I still don't feel any better. I still don't have an answer. I just feel extremely alone and resentful and I'm exhausted from being the one who tries to make things better.

So I guess I'm wondering what steps I can take to find my happy place again. Right now, I'm just in my own personal hell and it's awful.

[Robinski78]

That is such a sad story, that defies logic... In reality, your life should have improved for the better, not the worse...
It leaves one wondering if you get the support you need from your partner, regarding your changing life style... Are they aware of what you are attempting to do??? Do you talk about your ideas and expectations???

I know from personal experience (and that of others) that doing so can sometimes be difficult: to say the least...

Please have faith in yourself and in that which you are trying to achieve, knowing that there are people out here (myself included) who can and will send you positive energies, to help you overcome your difficulties, thus providing you with a stepping stone towards a happier and more enlightened future...

Be brave ~ be at peace...

Rob....

[SpiritCarrier]

Originally Posted by gravitysrainbow

I've been in a relationship for about a year and a half, and I'm starting to get that sinking feeling that I've been wasting my time and energy. For the last six months, I've been doing a lot of self improvement and trying to become a better person. I've made a lot of progress both emotionally and spiritually, but it seems like my relationship is suffering. Sometimes, I feel "less than", or like even though I'm trying my best and working on the things that seem most important to me, it's not enough.

I feel trapped, unloved, and unsatisfactory, and this makes me feel upset. When I get upset, I know that I have two options: cry until I feel better or hold it in until I self destruct. I've been crying, and I still don't feel any better. I still don't have an answer. I just feel extremely alone and resentful and I'm exhausted from being the one who tries to make things better.

So I guess I'm wondering what steps I can take to find my happy place again. Right now, I'm just in my own personal hell and it's awful.

Does your partner make you feel bad about yourself? Is he/she supportive? With the work you have been doing it would seem that your partner would benefit if you are benefiting.

The hard question is; Is the self improvement making you see the unhealthy aspects of the relationship thus making things harder to put up with? It is hard to see the problem from just what is written but if someone is unsupportive and making you feel unloved and unsatisfactory then you need to get out of that situation. Leaving a relationship that you have dedicated so much time to might seem daunting but the outcome if you stay is not good. Try to make a list of why you should stay verses why you should leave and see if that helps you make a clear decision.

I wish you well and encourage you to meditate on this. Sometimes during meditation you can get a fuller picture, one not tainted by emotions.

Peace and Light,
SC

For better or worse, it's give and take, compromise, that makes relationships. Sad as it may be, your spiritual growth may mean that the things that originally gave you happiness have diverged. To an extent any spiritual growth will be self-directed. I'm interested to know how your partner reacts to your spiritual practices.

It all comes down to how much both of you are willing to put into the relationship. Only rarely will everything be good all the time. But if it once made you happy, really only you can know when things started to slip and what were the signs. It's very important for your well-being to deceive neither yourself nor your partner about what's really changed.