The Twin Flame Journey gets more interesting every day

[SMT3Master227]

So i made a post a little while ago about how there is a girl that I was friends with in high school 15 years ago that Im suspicious is my twin flame since we have so much in common including traumas, life experiences, life ambitions, etc. She recently came into my consciousness again since I live nearby where she went to art camp at one summer and was reminded of her. I talked about before how on social media I tried reaching out but she never answered me and how she just got of an abusive relationship based on social media posts i read from her ex, so her state of mind sucks and that is part of why she wont answer me. Now a days we both live 2 hours away from each other and Im only a train ride away, but sadly I cant get in touch with her.

So the other day I was going through my yearbook again and notice there was some other girl that signed it that I thought was cool, so I decided to look her up. This girl added me on social media after I messaged her and she wanted to call me today to talk about how im doing and how my life is going. Strangely enough, before I called her today, I was going through her friends list...and low and beyond, the girl that I think is my twin flame was on there. I couldnt believe it lol since I wasnt even looking for her. I had no idea who this girl was even friends with even when I looked her up in my yearbook.

Today this morning comes around and I get on the phone with this girl. We start chatting about life and how shes doing and how im doing and all of that. Then comes around the conversations about who we knew from high school. So I mention the girl that I think is my twin flame and she says "yeah her mom and my mom are best friends", i was like lol what. Apparantly though they arent super close but she knew stuff about her. She knew she was super nice (just like I knew) and smart and creative. But I also learned how the girl I was talking to had an abusive dad, and the girl that I think who is potentially my twin flame had an emotionally unavailable dad since I do know she was emotionally abandoned as a kid and based on how she has navigated relationships, it makes sense.

I actually found some stuff her sister wrote on social media about how she got out of a bad relationship in college, 2 years before the girl that I think is my twin flame got into a bad relationship. It makes sense since they both came from the same household and where I grew up, people would just throw money at their problems and avoided emotions. It made me kind of sad, but it also confirmed what I have been thinking, which is that the relationships they are getting into arent good but its because they have never seen what a good relationship looks like (which I can relate, I came from two messed up parents too).

Another thing I learned is that my potential twin flames dream was to be an artist....which is interesting since I do art for a living. She ended up having to take some corporate job since her art wasnt making her money, but its crazy since I know how to market art and if I got to meet her again, I could probably teach her how to make money off it. Crazy to think that my dream is her dream.

So where we are at now is that I have a friend, who knows her best friend from childhood (that i was good friends with too), that may still keep in touch with her. I been trying to reach my friend but shes been super busy with life. Things are getting more and more interesting by the day, since slowly everything that I have been believing for the last 2 months is starting to come to life. I really do think this girl is for me and that also maybe as kids she may have had a thing for me but never wanted to say anything since I was into other girls and just didnt really think about her like that since we never had classes together (met her through a friend of mine) and never got to fully know her.

I dont see myself giving up on this girl unless I completely run out of leads, but every week its just so intense. I just never knew Id ever be in this kind of position in life where there is someone out there that is just like me and has a lived a similar life, but also likes all the same things that I like. Should be interesting to see what things are like a month from now, since a month ago things looked much different than they did a month before that.

[FallingLeaves]

[SMT3Master227]

Originally Posted by FallingLeaves

lol thoughts?

[FallingLeaves]

i think it is great if you think you can get through to her. Maybe it is even something she might welcome??????? But i really don't know.

[SMT3Master227]

Originally Posted by FallingLeaves

i think it is great if you think you can get through to her. Maybe it is even something she might welcome??????? But i really don't know.

Yeah Im starting to think that what Im doing is what she would want me to be doing. But it just boils down to reaching out to her best friend from childhood (which is how we met). I been having trouble reaching her (since i think shes depressed with life too right now) but I know a girl that was also good friends with her but shes been busy with work and stuff so thats still a work in progress.

Its just getting crazier that week to week I keep learning what I been thinking all along, which is that we really do have the same visions and same troubles along with the same interests. Its been 15 years but it seems like what we thought as kids has never changed. I guess eventually I will find the truth, but wow its a journey lol.

[FallingLeaves]

yeah maybe. I'm very confused right now. I'm thinking if I were someone like her with the way I am thinking today, the easiest thing would be just to push you away some more... maybe I would have an idea of someone else it would be nice to relate with.... although even that is paling for me any more, it is like, what is the point in pursuing relationships any more since there can't be a 'happy ending' anyway? Given that I don't much like how I've had to go about it anyway? IF there is no set end, no goal for who I should be that I have to reach at all costs, why not just deal with life however I can right here right now instead of continuing to try to find some perfect way to be or some perfect person to be with?

but i dunno, I have no idea about who either of you are or what the two of you have been through. So I have no place saying who you should be or how you should relate or how it will turn out if you try. But I do think, this idea of putting one foot in front of the other and just seeing what happens, sounds like a very good idea to me.

[SMT3Master227]

Originally Posted by FallingLeaves

yeah maybe. I'm very confused right now. I'm thinking if I were someone like her with the way I am thinking today, the easiest thing would be just to push you away some more... maybe I would have an idea of someone else it would be nice to relate with.... although even that is paling for me any more, it is like, what is the point in pursuing relationships any more since there can't be a 'happy ending' anyway? Given that I don't much like how I've had to go about it anyway? IF there is no set end, no goal for who I should be that I have to reach at all costs, why not just deal with life however I can right here right now instead of continuing to try to find some perfect way to be or some perfect person to be with?

but i dunno, I have no idea about who either of you are or what the two of you have been through. So I have no place saying who you should be or how you should relate or how it will turn out if you try. But I do think, this idea of putting one foot in front of the other and just seeing what happens, sounds like a very good idea to me.

I think my ultimate goal right now is just to discover the truth. What did she think of me as a kid? What is she thinking now? What has happened to her over the years? What did she experience growing up while we are in high school? Im becoming less results oriented as time goes on since results just dont seem to matter at this point. As much as I would live a "happily ever after ending", I get that life is just not a disney movie and that reality is much more complicated than that.

I think I have also came to terms of what the "end" should be. At this point, I only want 2 things out of her, which is for her to be happy/fulfilled and to be free/the ability to achieve her dreams. I dont care about what she has to offer me but rather how can I be of service in any way. Our relationship doesnt have to be romantic to be meaningful. I dunno, I just have this feeling that something is there and Im not really afraid to be wrong. If Im just going crazy and need more meds, well so be it lol. Im willing to risk my ego to know the truth.

[FallingLeaves]

you are much wiser than I was when i met my twin. I can hope for the best between the two of you