It's Time To Move On...

anonymous111 · #1 04-07-2016, 02:49 PM

I don't remember when everything turned to ****. Our connection started off so peacefully and beautifully, and now it's come to this: him ignoring me, acting like I meant absolutely nothing to him. Perhaps I didn't mean anything, I guess I'll never know. I've stopped staying up at night, crying, wondering where everything went wrong. I've found this kind of sad peace with the realization that while one person may mean the world to you, you can mean absolutely nothing to them.

I've basically come to terms with the fact that I'm wasting my time, sitting by the phone and secretly hoping that everytime I hear the soft ding, it's him, apologizing for putting me through the same thing again, despite the fact that he told me he cared and didn't want to lose me. What am I doing? It's been a week since I've heard from him. I tried to reach out and he ignored me. If somebody wants to be in your life, they will. I'm just mad at myself for putting so much energy into something that was so one sided, something that I clearly valued more than the other person. We don't need to sit around and wait for them to call. It's time to just move on with our life. None of us have to put up with the "runners" or put up with this constant on and off and push and pull factor.

I don't know why I'm still clinging onto something that's not there. You can't force another person to feel the same way. You can't help someone if they have communication problems and refuse to tell you what's going on, no matter how much you may want to.

I guess this is just a message to everyone else like me, dealing with what I'm dealing, that maybe twin flames just aren't meant to be together. Maybe we need to let go of the ideas preexisting in our head and surrender. We shouldn't have to deal with this constant worry of "are they thinking about me too?", "do they feel the same way?", etc. In the end, we're just holding ourselves back from living our lives.

Yes, the connection was beautiful, and maybe we will never experience something quite like it, but if something is meant to be in your life, then it will be. Perhaps this connection served to teach us a lesson, but we have to let go. Although I still love him unconditionally, even after all the pain I've felt, it's time for me to move on. It's going to be difficult because I never got closure, but I need to find closure within myself and close this chapter in my life. It's time to move on...

taurusnsane · #2 04-07-2016, 03:13 PM

you need to understand runners- they are focusing on their fear, their mind is full of doubt, fear, anger for you, because you came into their life, this wonderful being and you made their world upside down. so they do these nasty things so you can hate them, so you will go away..

chasers needs to have higher understanding. please relax, if you are twins, everything will work out. be patient and just focus on you. i know what you are going through.. i think hell in earth sums it up... awful time.. but it gets better.. i am one example:)

anonymous111 · #3 04-07-2016, 04:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by taurusnsane

you need to understand runners- they are focusing on their fear, their mind is full of doubt, fear, anger for you, because you came into their life, this wonderful being and you made their world upside down. so they do these nasty things so you can hate them, so you will go away..

chasers needs to have higher understanding. please relax, if you are twins, everything will work out. be patient and just focus on you. i know what you are going through.. i think hell in earth sums it up... awful time.. but it gets better.. i am one example:)

I just don't comprehend why he's going out of his way to hurt me. All I've done is care for him. I'm saying I need to move on as in I need to move on with my life and stop pondering over the maybes. I'll always love him though.

taurusnsane · #4 04-07-2016, 04:07 PM

Runners... They hurt u so u will hate them. Then they can try to move on as they know u hate them because they sooo nastyyy

anonymous111 · #5 04-07-2016, 04:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by taurusnsane

Runners... They hurt u so u will hate them. Then they can try to move on as they know u hate them because they sooo nastyyy

But that's the problem, I don't hate him at all. I'm just hurt. I wish I could hate him so I could just move on already. But I keep seeing him talking to other girls and doing everything to hurt me and I'm just shocked that someone can be so cruel to somebody who they claimed they care about.

taurusnsane · #6 04-07-2016, 04:32 PM

You need to swallow it. they do are cruel and nasty but its because they are hurting and going insane

anonymous111 · #7 04-07-2016, 04:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by taurusnsane

You need to swallow it. they do are cruel and nasty but its because they are hurting and going insane

How do I swallow it? Pretend I don't care when I obviously do? What's the point of pretending you don't care?

ForeverRestless · #8 04-07-2016, 04:39 PM

If moving on from a TF were so easy, we'd just jump off the train. End the painful journey. If you can move on, that's amazing, do it. I can't, but because I can't, i'm being forced to deal with things I never would have otherwise. I'm growing in ways I didn't think possible, even though I'm not with him. It's painful, but hopefully it's part of my path to ascension...

ForeverRestless · #9 04-07-2016, 04:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by taurusnsane

You need to swallow it. they do are cruel and nasty but its because they are hurting and going insane

It's interesting you say that because my TF actually said he felt like he was going insane. And the songs he was listening to at the time were all about darkness, brokenness, being too messed up to function. Being unworthy. Being insane. He just wanted to feel normal again.

I swooped in from a foreign nation and changed his whole view on life, then I left. In a way, I was running away from him. How dare I do that?! Ha.

ForeverRestless · #10 04-07-2016, 04:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by anonymous111

How do I swallow it? Pretend I don't care when I obviously do? What's the point of pretending you don't care?

That's what I've tried to do, pretend I don't care. I've thrown myself into every aspect of life that does not involve him. Travel, redecorating my home, spending time with friends, going to festivals, dating, posting about anything and everything on social media EXCEPT him. Ironically, it's kind of obvious. He's the one thing that matters too much to speak about. But it's possible that he thinks I hate him so much I've basically tried to lobotomize my brain of him. That he's so "unspeakable" I shudder at even remembering him and I push it all out of brain. Everything else, every other old friend, every other ex boyfriend I wax nostalgic about, they all seem to mean more than him because I talk about them opennly and fondly. But no, he means more than all the rest. He probably knows deep down how much I care. And that makes me angry because I feel exposed. And that he's just rubbing his little hands together like, "I still win!" I know he's not evil like that, but still. It feels like a game to see who can not care more. But I can never stop caring. I love him every day and the emotions about him are way deeper than any thoughts I could have analyzing the relationship. They permeate out of my body and my being. My eyes water and tears sneak out. Sometimes without me even really thinking about him. It's my soul remembering, though. I cannot shake him. But yes, I pretend not to care and not to be affected. From all outward appearances, I have a friggin fabulous life without him.