Something watching over me, or am I going crazy?

[cc111me]

I wasn't suggesting that this spirit was your mother. I think you would know that for sure if it was.

[Dargor]

Originally Posted by Chrysalis

The part that got my attention is the strong energy you feel pressing all around you. I too experience this and it is all around me 24/7 regardless if I want to feel it or not, the choice is mine. I believe the energy is from my Primary Spirit Guide. It acts as a shield and keeps me grounded. I also believe I can tap into it so in a way, my PSG is sharing His power.

I believe the girl is your Primary Spirit Guide (PSG) and showed you that She loves you (by kissing you) and is willing to share Her power with you (the energy you feel) if you choose to develop whatever psychic ability (abilities) you might have. She also gave you a name so in meditation, you can call Her to talk to Her. For now, know that you're loved and protected by Her.

Take care and enjoy your journey.

Now things are gonna be fun, if she is my PSG why doesn't she visit me in my dreams anymore or communicate with me? And why did she never let her existence know when I was younger and going through bad times? Is this how a PSG works, or are they bound by strict rules or something? Don't get me wrong, I really wish from the deepest of my heart that this was real but this may be just another one of those ''too good to be true'' scenarios... To be honest I have no clue what to believe/think anymore and I came to think that all of this may be just my imagination playing tricks on me.

Originally Posted by WhiteWarrior

Where do I start? The other side is full of spirits, even on this side of the great veil. Many of them are not even human in origin. You have the roaming spirits who passed over at death, but returned to become mere invisible tourists ambling through the lands of the living. You have the guides who watches over us; some have a personal connection to us, others are more like the rarely visiting electrician or plumber who visit only if and when they are needed. Then there are the more restless spirits who are ever on the run or try to be on the run, never quite finding what they are looking for. There are more dubious kinds of spirit too but I don't think you was asking for the whole catalog listing. Whatever she is, yes she MIGHT be the one behind some of those experiences you have had lately. But it is not for me to answer definitely.

So, the one you have encountered? She could be a lot of things including those mentioned above. Since she FEELS nice to you I'll assume she is nice until there is reason to think otherwise. The fact that she left you with a name makes me think she wanted you to know it; a connection that might make your next encounter stronger and more meaningful. Meditate upon her name with an open mind and see what happens.

I tried meditating plenty of times with an open mind, but most often I feel or hear nothing at all. If she really wants to tell me something or engage in a conversation with me, she should be able to do so without me having to resort to meditation. I'm starting to regret creating this thread, because when I created this I was still somewhat optimistic about it but now my beliefs in this stuff are slowly fading away and in addition I made a huge fool of myself.

[WhiteWarrior]

Originally Posted by SlayerOfLight

I tried meditating plenty of times with an open mind, but most often I feel or hear nothing at all. If she really wants to tell me something or engage in a conversation with me, she should be able to do so without me having to resort to meditation. I'm starting to regret creating this thread, because when I created this I was still somewhat optimistic about it but now my beliefs in this stuff are slowly fading away and in addition I made a huge fool of myself.

Meditation is not for everyone, and it it not the only way to achieve contact with spirits - for instance, what I got at the start were symbols. And it's not as if there is a switch that merely needs to be flipped after which communication is sure to go smooth. For some there hardly are barriers and for others there are immense. In your case, judging by what I have read of your writing, you are maintaining some pretty strong walls between what you trust and what you don't trust and you haven't placed much on the inside of that wall. But I will spare you that sermon. My instinct tells me that in time, you will hear from Sarah again. Don't go so hard on yourself in the meantime.

[Grace222]

Hi Slayer,

My heart goes out to you regarding the loss of your mom. About 3 yrs ago I lost mine. Ironically, like you, I didn't think much about anything spiritual until several undeniable events occurred prior to and after my mother's passing. I'm so grateful for them, because as you mentioned I do feel like I'm watched over - that something/someone was letting me know there is more and all is well. My best to you.

[KalaMa]

Hi Slayer, so sorry for your loss and the journey of grief you must be going through. If you feel like you are being watched this can be a good thing or a bad thing. The being watching you could be either angelic or demonic. I would urge you to use caution before you let it into your energy field or allow it to hang around you. The method I have been taught is to ask the being three times "do you love me unconditionally and are you here for my highest good?" Ask once, listen for a response, and then ask again and a third time. If you aren't happy with its answers command it to leave. I would also ask Archangel Michael (who is like a cosmic bouncer) to check the being out and escort it away if it is suspect. There are probably other methods for 'testing the spirits' but I do suggest you be on your guard and don't go on appearances or take its word for who it is.

I'm not saying this to freak you out - we are all surrounded by wonderful loving beings who want nothing but good for us and it's great to connect with them, but unfortunately there are some not-so-nice characters who masquerade as angels, deceased loved ones, ascended masters, whatever. They may not be thoroughly evil, but they may want to attach to your energy body and suck on a bit of life force. Feeling watched is a classic symptom one of these entities is about, but of course you could also be being watched in a good way, so best to figure out which one it is.

[Dargor]

Originally Posted by WhiteWarrior

Meditation is not for everyone, and it it not the only way to achieve contact with spirits - for instance, what I got at the start were symbols. And it's not as if there is a switch that merely needs to be flipped after which communication is sure to go smooth. For some there hardly are barriers and for others there are immense. In your case, judging by what I have read of your writing, you are maintaining some pretty strong walls between what you trust and what you don't trust and you haven't placed much on the inside of that wall. But I will spare you that sermon. My instinct tells me that in time, you will hear from Sarah again. Don't go so hard on yourself in the meantime.

Well in that case, I hope you are right.

Originally Posted by Grace222

Hi Slayer,

My heart goes out to you regarding the loss of your mom. About 3 yrs ago I lost mine. Ironically, like you, I didn't think much about anything spiritual until several undeniable events occurred prior to and after my mother's passing. I'm so grateful for them, because as you mentioned I do feel like I'm watched over - that something/someone was letting me know there is more and all is well. My best to you.

Thanks, who knows wether it's real or not. It may or may not be true, but someday we will know the truth I hope.

Originally Posted by KalaMa

Hi Slayer, so sorry for your loss and the journey of grief you must be going through. If you feel like you are being watched this can be a good thing or a bad thing. The being watching you could be either angelic or demonic. I would urge you to use caution before you let it into your energy field or allow it to hang around you. The method I have been taught is to ask the being three times "do you love me unconditionally and are you here for my highest good?" Ask once, listen for a response, and then ask again and a third time. If you aren't happy with its answers command it to leave. I would also ask Archangel Michael (who is like a cosmic bouncer) to check the being out and escort it away if it is suspect. There are probably other methods for 'testing the spirits' but I do suggest you be on your guard and don't go on appearances or take its word for who it is.

I'm not saying this to freak you out - we are all surrounded by wonderful loving beings who want nothing but good for us and it's great to connect with them, but unfortunately there are some not-so-nice characters who masquerade as angels, deceased loved ones, ascended masters, whatever. They may not be thoroughly evil, but they may want to attach to your energy body and suck on a bit of life force. Feeling watched is a classic symptom one of these entities is about, but of course you could also be being watched in a good way, so best to figure out which one it is.

I haven't let this being into my energy field, in fact before I had that dream I wasn't even aware of it and doing nothing that attracts spirits like messing with ouja boards or stuff like that. About the asking, I can ask all I wan't but I never get a respond anyway, so I no longer even believe it's real but as I said to others, probably just my imagination playing tricks on me.

[jro5139]

Originally Posted by SlayerOfLight

Okay I found no other place on the internet to discuss this with people, and obviously I am careful enough not to share this story with everyone because most people would probably think I am insane. But the members of this forum seem friendly and open-minded, so hopefully I made a wise decision of sharing my story here.

So to get started, It began a few months after my mother passed away early this year when I was facing a difficult time. I didn't really believe much in spiritual stuff up until one night when I had a very weird yet life changing dream which I cannot stop thinking about even this very day. So, the dream just started like a typical messy dream until I had the impression that it got ''hijacked'' by something that took the form of a young dark haired girl. Her appearance was childish but very innocent and angel-like in appearance, and if I recall correctly she seemed to wear either a white dress or a robe. We didn't exchange words and she never said anything, but she let out a mysterious smile that would without doubt even melt the coldest hearts. Then before I knew it, she did something that no ordinary dream character ever did before in my dream; she began to smooch me on the lips and I could feel everything as if it was real. For a brief moment I even experienced self-awareness and obviously I was confused because I had no idea who she was and why she was kissing me, but I had the feeling that she knew me and accepted who I am. I don't remember what happened afterwards, but the next thing I knew she disappeared and the dream returned back to normal. Sadly, she never returned in my dreams again no matter how hard I try to dream about her. But despite that, I still regard this dream as the best experience of my entire life. However, I may or may not received telephatic messages in my dreams at least once or twice after this event, and I believe I could make out a certain name.

Anyway, after this dream throughout the months until now I had an increasing series of rather strange coincidences, signs, and possibly even minor paranormal activity around me, and sometimes I feel like I'm not alone and being watched by something (or I am just imagining things). I also had multiple psychic dreams in my life such as several months before my mother died without me being aware of it I had a dream or vision that seemed to warn me about it, but I rejected it as nonsense because I never took my dreams serious. I wonder if this same girl from my dreams could be behind all of this?

Having said that, as optimistic as I may have looked when I wrote this, I still can't help but be sceptical about it and don't want to simply draw a conclusion. I don't know if I'm either going crazy or if there truly is something that watches over me, but hopefully the truth will be revealed someday. Anyway, thanks for reading my story and be free to post your thoughts/beliefs etc.

When I was growing up I used to have this feeling all the time like someone was watching me, multiple people actually, it felt like. I used to always look up, trying to see who or what it was. I thought I was just crazy but to spite being young, I knew enough I guess not to tell anyone. When I think about it now, there were a lot of strange things I never told anyone.
I never connected all these dots before, but I have always had paranormal activity that has happened around me. As a child, I heard a voice when alone. I used to think I was seeing people out of the corner of my eye when at my grandmother's house, among other things.
Now I live in my grandmother's house, I moved in a couple of years after she passed and she still looks after her house. She locks the door. I have cabinets that open on their own, windows that close on their own, lights that flicker, unexplained noises, etc...
I have had several psychic dreams as well.
It seems like I reached a point where I either have to embrace it all and accept it or reject it, so I'm just going with it. If it turns out that I'm just a complete nut case, than I'll embrace that.

[Dargor]

The thing is, I'm completely trapped in-between. For the most part I am just too sceptical to believe any of this and think of it as delusional. But still, I still just feel there's more to it regarding that dream, because there's no way my subconscious would spoil me with such a beautiful dream in a million years, and the character in it (Sarah) behaved and felt unlike the dozen other NPC-like dream character I've interacted with. But if that girl in my dream is really something invisible sticking with me, why has she never reappeared in my dreams again? Do these things follow strict rules or something? And why did she not say anything? It's true, I've experienced some crazy things and sometimes feel like I'm not alone, but that just isn't enough for me. I just wish I knew the purpose of that dream, wether it was just to put me into thinking, some sort of message, or just being nice. I know nobody but me can figure this out, but maybe there is somoene here with a lot of knowledge and experience who could tell me more about it.

[shivatar]

Originally Posted by SlayerOfLight

Okay I found no other place on the internet to discuss this with people, and obviously I am careful enough not to share this story with everyone because most people would probably think I am insane. But the members of this forum seem friendly and open-minded, so hopefully I made a wise decision of sharing my story here.

So to get started, It began a few months after my mother passed away early this year when I was facing a difficult time. I didn't really believe much in spiritual stuff up until one night when I had a very weird yet life changing dream which I cannot stop thinking about even this very day. So, the dream just started like a typical messy dream until I had the impression that it got ''hijacked'' by something that took the form of a young dark haired girl. Her appearance was childish but very innocent and angel-like in appearance, and if I recall correctly she seemed to wear either a white dress or a robe. We didn't exchange words and she never said anything, but she let out a mysterious smile that would without doubt even melt the coldest hearts. Then before I knew it, she did something that no ordinary dream character ever did before in my dream; she began to smooch me on the lips and I could feel everything as if it was real. For a brief moment I even experienced self-awareness and obviously I was confused because I had no idea who she was and why she was kissing me, but I had the feeling that she knew me and accepted who I am. I don't remember what happened afterwards, but the next thing I knew she disappeared and the dream returned back to normal. Sadly, she never returned in my dreams again no matter how hard I try to dream about her. But despite that, I still regard this dream as the best experience of my entire life. However, I may or may not received telephatic messages in my dreams at least once or twice after this event, and I believe I could make out a certain name.

Anyway, after this dream throughout the months until now I had an increasing series of rather strange coincidences, signs, and possibly even minor paranormal activity around me, and sometimes I feel like I'm not alone and being watched by something (or I am just imagining things). I also had multiple psychic dreams in my life such as several months before my mother died without me being aware of it I had a dream or vision that seemed to warn me about it, but I rejected it as nonsense because I never took my dreams serious. I wonder if this same girl from my dreams could be behind all of this?

Having said that, as optimistic as I may have looked when I wrote this, I still can't help but be sceptical about it and don't want to simply draw a conclusion. I don't know if I'm either going crazy or if there truly is something that watches over me, but hopefully the truth will be revealed someday. Anyway, thanks for reading my story and be free to post your thoughts/beliefs etc.

It's a very normal thing to fear one is losing their mind. I think it's possible you are "losing your mind" but being a person who experiences the very worst of mental illness (bi polar, PTSD, maybe schizophrenia) I can say with faith that it's not the end of the world. Quite the opposite actually, when I first began to experience psychosis I found a new career and a new direction in my life. Sometimes I get down about my mind, wishing it functioned like a normal persons, but in the end I can't change it so I just focus on the positives.

1. I'm highly intuitive.
2. I'm very spiritual
3. I'm motivated to heal the world
4. I have purpose
5. I have God by my side now


Sure, I used to think someone was watching me. Be it angels or God, I just had this sensation that I was being watched by a spiritual being and my actions needed to be good or I would be punished.

perhaps it's just a lingering childhood memory, my mother was very very very strict and invaded my sister and I's privacy excessivly. I never get caught up in acting on such thoughts.

bottom line is I did not like it, so I worked to change it. I meditated and asked the tough questions, I looked insanity in the face and said I'm not afraid of you. Do your worst, I will survive. Well it did its worse, and I regret that, but I'm not afraid of my mind anymore. Gaining love for my mind, no matter what state of health its in, was one of the first steps to healing my mind.


-------

this may sound weird but I love when I experinece psychosis. Its honestly like a retreat from this world. It has been blissful for me, it's the repurcissions of my actions while psychotic that I have to deal with when I "fall from grace". And they are all quite small, I've always been able to tell in the back of my mind if something is weird or not, and I can choose to repress it or not. I once repressed everything I thought was out of the ordinary, but that ended with me being a shell of a man and choosing to express my self regardless of which state of mind I'm in when I express myself.

I think the worst things I've done while "psychotic" was to ask someone out on a date here and there. I also was homeless but only for a week or so... thats a dangerous game to play but like I said in the back of my mind I knew something was weird about that thought.


also, each time I experience a "stress breakdown" or "spiritual breakthrough" it's shorter and shorter. My first break with reality lasted for maybe 42 days-ish, and there was a long afterglow for perhaps 6 months.

I've had probably 2 breakdowns this year (I don't count anymore), and each time It's about 2 weeks or so. I get back on my feet VERY FAST these days, and it takes a bigger and bigger crisis to push me into my red zone. Some might say I'm getting stronger, but I think it's just the way the human body is. It adapts, it's amazing.
----


bottom line. If you ask a doctor, they might say I suffer from XXX and XXX and XXXX mental illness. If you ask my family they will tell you I'm a very strong person, empathic, caring, deeply sensitive.

A diagnosis doesn't define you, it's a lense through which your self is expressed.

Whatever comes from my "madness" is essentially still me, although a little muddled. Over time I've come to recognize what is madness, what is me, and I'm trying to find ways of expressing just me.

-------


If you are afraid that insanity will make you into a different person, beyond all forms of self-control, then you are wrong. Don't let that false fear win, fight it with all of the strength of your being. Even if you are "losing your mind", which I don't think you are I just think you are going through some tough times and your brain is mal-functioning a little. It will come back to normal if you give it the appropriate rest and relaxation, if there is anything wrong with it at all.

[Dargor]

Originally Posted by shivatar

It's a very normal thing to fear one is losing their mind. I think it's possible you are "losing your mind" but being a person who experiences the very worst of mental illness (bi polar, PTSD, maybe schizophrenia) I can say with faith that it's not the end of the world. Quite the opposite actually, when I first began to experience psychosis I found a new career and a new direction in my life. Sometimes I get down about my mind, wishing it functioned like a normal persons, but in the end I can't change it so I just focus on the positives.

1. I'm highly intuitive.
2. I'm very spiritual
3. I'm motivated to heal the world
4. I have purpose
5. I have God by my side now


Sure, I used to think someone was watching me. Be it angels or God, I just had this sensation that I was being watched by a spiritual being and my actions needed to be good or I would be punished.

perhaps it's just a lingering childhood memory, my mother was very very very strict and invaded my sister and I's privacy excessivly. I never get caught up in acting on such thoughts.

bottom line is I did not like it, so I worked to change it. I meditated and asked the tough questions, I looked insanity in the face and said I'm not afraid of you. Do your worst, I will survive. Well it did its worse, and I regret that, but I'm not afraid of my mind anymore. Gaining love for my mind, no matter what state of health its in, was one of the first steps to healing my mind.


-------

this may sound weird but I love when I experinece psychosis. Its honestly like a retreat from this world. It has been blissful for me, it's the repurcissions of my actions while psychotic that I have to deal with when I "fall from grace". And they are all quite small, I've always been able to tell in the back of my mind if something is weird or not, and I can choose to repress it or not. I once repressed everything I thought was out of the ordinary, but that ended with me being a shell of a man and choosing to express my self regardless of which state of mind I'm in when I express myself.

I think the worst things I've done while "psychotic" was to ask someone out on a date here and there. I also was homeless but only for a week or so... thats a dangerous game to play but like I said in the back of my mind I knew something was weird about that thought.


also, each time I experience a "stress breakdown" or "spiritual breakthrough" it's shorter and shorter. My first break with reality lasted for maybe 42 days-ish, and there was a long afterglow for perhaps 6 months.

I've had probably 2 breakdowns this year (I don't count anymore), and each time It's about 2 weeks or so. I get back on my feet VERY FAST these days, and it takes a bigger and bigger crisis to push me into my red zone. Some might say I'm getting stronger, but I think it's just the way the human body is. It adapts, it's amazing.
----


bottom line. If you ask a doctor, they might say I suffer from XXX and XXX and XXXX mental illness. If you ask my family they will tell you I'm a very strong person, empathic, caring, deeply sensitive.

A diagnosis doesn't define you, it's a lense through which your self is expressed.

Whatever comes from my "madness" is essentially still me, although a little muddled. Over time I've come to recognize what is madness, what is me, and I'm trying to find ways of expressing just me.

-------


If you are afraid that insanity will make you into a different person, beyond all forms of self-control, then you are wrong. Don't let that false fear win, fight it with all of the strength of your being. Even if you are "losing your mind", which I don't think you are I just think you are going through some tough times and your brain is mal-functioning a little. It will come back to normal if you give it the appropriate rest and relaxation, if there is anything wrong with it at all.

I'd rather not be insane, even though sanity may be somewhat overrated. But nice to know my brain is malfunctioning, I suppose that can't be too bad..... Right?