financial support for my TF?

[thewaitingflame]

m looking for advice on a twin flame. I have a twin who after years of wanting a divorce and realizing we are twin flames, she finally has decided to get a divorce as of january.

But even after deciding it she's had a rough time leaving. In march, her husband found his long lost brother who he moved in to live with them and within a week my twin fell for

him and they now have a relationship. The three of them live in the same house and the husband is upset about the situation and its causing problems as they are divorcing.

She has now moved out of the room she shared with her husband into the brothers room. The brother from what i know doesnt work, hasnt looked for a job, and is always with my twin

at all times. Now that all this has happened and the divorce is going through, the husband has cut all funding to her, she was a house wife. The brother and my twin do not have

jobs, though she insists the brother has a part time job though i dont believe it because they are together 24/7, so much so that she has a hard time talking to me because they

are always together. So we get to the problem at hand.

The two of them are boy friend and girl friend. She is living on any saved money she was able to get out of the shared account with her husband. The husband has stopped providing

financially for her and she will be running out of money. So she has turned to me for financial help, buying groceries and paying for her cell phone. From all my understandings of

my place (im the chaser / shes the runner) in her life while shes in a relationship, i believe i should not interfere with her relationship. Should i be responsible for helping to

provide for her financially during this time? Should her and her boy friend be trying to figure things out on their own? I feel guilty leaving her hanging, but I also feel like

this is something her boy friend should be responsible to handle, should he not get a job to help pay and for them to support each other financially? since being in this

relationship was her choice, should I let her come to terms with her decision to be in a relationship with him and let her go to him for financial help instead?

[Paige Ignited]

The choice she has made is her rebound choice.
This isn't your lot to deal with, twin flame or not. She chose another before you. Walk away and let her choice be her own learning.

She has a man - let him step up and be the man if he will. If he doesn't, that's her problem, not yours.

You can always be present for her emotionally if you can maintain that required distance during what will be will be.

[ForgedInFire]

It is not your job to face any consequences for her actions. Let her deal it and you focus on yourself instead. Say no to supporting another man dating your twin..

[thewaitingflame]

Thank you, that's what I believe too. It's not my place to be taking care of another mans girl friend regardless of who she is. Though she keeps trying to convince me it's okay to help because we're friends. I may be her friend, but it's not my place to make her relationship with him any easier either.

Originally Posted by thewaitingflame

m looking for advice on a twin flame. I have a twin who after years of wanting a divorce and realizing we are twin flames, she finally has decided to get a divorce as of january.

But even after deciding it she's had a rough time leaving. In march, her husband found his long lost brother who he moved in to live with them and within a week my twin fell for

him and they now have a relationship.

And she could do exactly the same to you.

The three of them live in the same house and the husband is upset about the situation and its causing problems as they are divorcing.

Pretty obvious her needs are carnal. The husband is hopelessly weak. He should gather what evidence he needs for his divorce then make it impossible for the pair to continue staying.

Now that all this has happened and the divorce is going through, the husband has cut all funding to her, she was a house wife.

Can you blame him? Wouldn't you do the same? What will you do if this happens to you and you get fed up with it?

The two of them are boy friend and girl friend. She is living on any saved money she was able to get out of the shared account with her husband. The husband has stopped providing financially for her and she will be running out of money. So she has turned to me for financial help, buying groceries and paying for her cell phone.

They need to get jobs, the pair of them. That's the harsh reality of life. Are you providing for them both as things stand? Are you a "soft touch"?

From all my understandings of

my place (im the chaser / shes the runner) in her life while shes in a relationship, i believe i should not interfere with her relationship. Should i be responsible for helping to

provide for her financially during this time? Should her and her boy friend be trying to figure things out on their own? I feel guilty leaving her hanging, but I also feel like

this is something her boy friend should be responsible to handle, should he not get a job to help pay and for them to support each other financially? since being in this

relationship was her choice, should I let her come to terms with her decision to be in a relationship with him and let her go to him for financial help instead?

Exactly. There's nothing wrong with being a good Samaritan when the object of your charity is truly needy. OF COURSE her correspondent should get a job and pay their way. If you feel inclined to help wouldn't your effort better be directed at helping or advising him (and her) to get on their own financial feet?

If I may ask, what part did you play in the original divorce proceedings?

If you weren't the instigator, something or someone must have been. Was that a different piece of wayfaring?

She seems a liability and (purely from a practical perspective) it's really best not to interfere - at all - until she's sorted herself out; the decree absolute (whatever the term is where you live) is done; and she's had enough sexually of the brother. The brother is obviously poncing off the husband - easier to live at someone else's expense... a kind of privatised welfare arrangement!

With evidence the husband has, he'd come under no obligation for maintenance it seems. Nor should you. The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

Such are my views.

I wish you well.

♥

[thewaitingflame]

thank you for the response. As far as what part did I play? I didnt play any part, weve gone through the cycle of her coming back into my life over time because she was in love with me, but shes always hard a hard time leaving her husband.

her husband is a narcissist, is abusive and basically treats her like an object, maid, and acts as if she owes him everything since shes a house wife and he pays for all of her stuff.

I was not the one to instigate anything. This last time she came back in january and was the one to admit to and teach me about us being twin flames. So while she finally decided she was done with the marriage after all the abuse she had taken, leaving this time had been a struggle for her because her husband is manipulative and controlling. Though ive always told her, if shes done then leave, theres no point in staying with someone whos going to treat her that way.

This is where the brother came in, they found him in march, and because he was living in conditions that the husband wasnt happy about they moved him in. It was at this point that the brother started being nice to my twin, doing things for her, helping her, doing things that the husband never did. While she found this attractive, from what i know, he also started pushing the feelings for her and making it obvious that he wanted to be with her and finally starting a relationship that she tried to hide from me.

her words are she had to be with him, that she needs him right now. says he helps protect her from the husband that shes leaving, yet she still has always chosen to stay in the same house as the husband and has never tried to leave. Both had been in a relationship together while the husband was the one supporting both of them financially. The husband didnt know about the extent of their relationship until the divorce came about, and now the husband has cut off all financial help.

now neither have jobs, any time i ask about what he does to help or what he does for work she gets aggrivated and defensive about it, she only says he has a part time job. yet they are always together, so i know this is true. Ive also caught her trying to talk the brother up by saying he has a lot of accomplishments scholastically and in things he does, but none of this is true either. the last two months she hadnt talked to me much, ive not been needed, and now that shes been cut off, shes suddenly asking for my help financially and says the boy friend only has money to pay his own bills.

[jro5139]

Originally Posted by thewaitingflame

the last two months she hadnt talked to me much, ive not been needed, and now that shes been cut off, shes suddenly asking for my help financially and says the boy friend only has money to pay his own bills.

This part above, that should tell you everything you need to know right now. Honestly, are you even sure she's really your tf? I've heard of websites that tell men how to trick women into thinking stuff like, are you sure she's not doing the same? What makes you think she's your twin? Besides her saying so...

There are several reasons NOT to help her right now,
Sometimes the best thing you can do for another person is let them go and make them stand on their own two feet and deal with their own problems.
This is honestly what she needs to learn to do right now.
I understand being in an abusive relationship and how hard it is to leave. Jumping into another relationship after an abusive one is the worst possible thing to do, she needs time to heal and time to find herself again, and she is not doing that.
She needs to learn to take care of and support herself and it doesn't sound like she is even trying to do that. Instead, she jumped into another relationship with the brother, who sounds like he has his share of his own problems.
Also, when money comes between people, whatever their relation to each other be, it often times ruins the relationship. You choose to support her, it likely will come between you at some point.
Be strong and tell her no to finances, tell her you can be her friend but that is it. Do not give her any money and don't take her lying to you.
Good luck to you!

[thewaitingflame]

Thank you for responding. The twin flame wasn't something she had to convince me of. I've always felt what I felt, I just didn't know there were terms or how spiritual it was. Just some info on her and I so there is some understanding.

Her and I met in a video game 11 years ago. We lived in different states. While playing this online video game with a friend of mine, I joined a group of people to play this game with my friend and she was in this group. We used a form of online voice chat and when I heard her voice, I loved her, I knew her, my chest hurt and I was drawn to her immediately and had to know her. I was shy though, I didn't know how to approach her with out coming off as some kind of online stalker weirdo. Then one day I went to talk to the friend I was playing this game with and she responded to me, it wasn't him on his account, it was her. She logged in to do something for him and suddenly we were talking.

She knew then as well she felt something as we both couldn't stop talking and learn about each other. I learned about her relationships and I knew I was in love with her. But as we got to know each other, she also grew to fear me because she was worried I was lying about myself because she had grown up being treated badly by men in her life and she had never known a man like me to exist or be real.

This was what caused her to run the first time. As I offered to take things slow and court her, she ran from me. She ran and tried to date someone who I also knew and hid it. This only lasted a few weeks as he said something bad about me and she dumped him because of it as confessed everything to me. This though put me in a state of victims mentality because I let myself believe that her and I were supposed to be together, I set expectations when I shouldn't have because I loved her and felt were supposed to be together and it caused me to struggle. It was this struggle that kept me from her, ultimately to where events happened in my life that she ended up having a hard time with. This was where her husband stepped in and started givi her all she wanted and she left me for him.

A year later we came across each other once more. The feelings for me had never left despite all that happened, but she had already married this other man by then. We talked and once more she was gone only to come to my life once more. This time she was expecting a child, but even so, this was the time she admitted to me that while she's married and expecting a child, she had made a mistake. While she had run from me because of doubt and what I was going through, she was still in love with me, felt strongly for me and I was always on her mind, but she couldn't just leave her marriage and she was gone once more.

She returned to me once more and this time she told me about how things were in her marriage and she still felt the same, but she had to try and work things out with the husband and once again was gone after telling me I should try to have a life even though we were both in love with each other.

Not too long after, she had problems with the husband and we found ourselves living in the same area. We met, and all the feelings were there, things happened between us and it was like nothing her and I ever experienced. However, even though we felt all of that, I never believed she'd leave her husband. There were too many signs that said she wouldn't regardless of what she told me and once more she was gone. Perhaps I should have had more faith rather than doubt? The chaser in me wants us to be together so bad, but also sets expectations and when I don't see the results I want, it causes me to push her away as well or find ways to let go of what I know should be real.

The several years after she'd come and go out of my life. Each time I'd give her love and she'd be gone again only to keep returning until now that she can't take it anymore and is ready to leave the husband. And we are where we are now.

Her and I are mirror images of each other. We love all the same things, we are like the same person and that also scares her. She fears how much alike we are. Though we butt heads a lot because we think differently even though we ultimately believe in the same conclusions. She often gets on me for not thinking like her even though we believe the same thing, just go about the thought process differently. The pain I feel with her missing in my life, causes a lot of discomfort for her because I try and force the relationship despite just letting her come to me and it's been a controlling factor in my life which has also kept us from being together.

[thewaitingflame]

This is something I've always felt strongly about even before having learned about any of this or started to discover myself spiritually. This may possibly be a whole other topic though.

[Ascophore]

Okay guy you need to DROP THE GIRL asap.

I can't stress this enough. Whatever feelings you think you may have are completely irrational at this point in time. This will NOT help you and she will NOT be there for you.

If she made a mistake on dumping you, a stable guy, for that weird dude who doesn't have a job then she needs to realize that ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES. Even hers.

You have to do this for yourself, don't stoop down to their level. You've already given her so much, don't bleed anymore. And if she wants more just tell her to call up her alimony lawyer.