Past Life Wife???

[OmegaGenesis801]

Recently, I met someone who I fell for instantly. Being someone who "falls in love" rather easily, I thought nothing of it. But, then we met, became friends and developed a pretty close bond. Unusually so. Opening up to each other came easy, searching for each other became normal and there was a level of comfortability I've never experienced.

Then, we were separated. We kept in touch, for a while, continuing to talk as if we've known each other for years. However, we've since lost touch, due to circumstances beyond our control. I have never missed anyone as much as I miss her. By the way, we've never been intimate. Yet, profound grief and confusion follows me daily. People who know us comment often on how unusual our union was, noticing how we reached each other like no one else they have seen, touch either of us. So much so, that more than one person has commented that maybe we were souls that had been reunited, or that we were just soulmates that found each other. It all seems too weird to me, having never been through anything like this before. I feel crazy even coming here to question the possibility. But, I have to know if there's a way I can find out. Or if it even matters?

If anyone has any insight, I'm all ears. I feel like I can't move on. Honestly, I do not want to, but I see no possible way this can even work. And, if she is someone that I have had something with, in a previous life (or more), are we destined to come back together? Or is this just an adolescent pipe dream? It feels to me like I can't even abandon the possibility until she absolutely "lets me go" from her heart (which, of course, I can't even express to her, because somehow, I'd be screwing with the natural order of things) Am I going crazy because I sure feel like it?

[selene]

welcome to the forums and thank you for sharing your story in such a sweet way. No, there is no way to find out, beyond any doubt, what your past life bond is. Unless you do a past life regression -and even then, the experience can be questioned. Spiritual bonds can be very real in my opinion but the way we deal with them is not necessarily a spiritual experience, but a projection of our psychological blueprint -so, you won't be messing with a natural order in my opinion if you tell her what's in your mind.

It sounds like more than a specific event, you just drifted apart, is that right? Have you tried to reach out at least and keep in touch, or you would rather avoid that? Have you told her how you feel?

No matter what we call these connections, they sometimes end up together, yes, because they are too loving to do otherwise. I believe this is a personal choice between two people though and not necessarily a divine plan that guarantees that.

Whatever the case, welcome, I hope we hear more of your story as it evolves and much much luck to you!

[Baile]

Originally Posted by OmegaGenesis801

Yet, profound grief and confusion follows me daily.

If anyone has any insight, I'm all ears.

You are using your feelings as a crutch to keep limping along. We all do that, all the time. We get emotional, not so much because we're all that invested in the issue, but because our emotional response provides us with an excuse to continue feeling the way we are choosing to feel.

"I am so hurt!"

No, not really. Believing I am hurt, or that someone hurt me, allows me to remain in my hurt. Feeling hurt is a lower self response. Once one comes to the higher self understanding, as well as an understanding of relationships from a karmic perspective, all that hurt evaporates in an instant. Gone, like it was never there. Which it wasn't, because it's really just an illusion the lower self conjures up as a protection tool.

Focus on the joy and beauty of your relationship with her. Keep that as your recollection, and reject any and all sorrowful, self-pitying thoughts from entering into that remembrance cathedral. And if you don't see her again in this life, you no doubt will in the next. If your love is that true, then you have already established your soul contract for next lifetime.

[OmegaGenesis801]

Thanks for the warm welcome! You are definitely helping make this easier for me. Obviously, by me coming to this forum, I do have deep spiritual beliefs, but I still feel like I set myself up for ridicule, at times, as many don't understand, at least in my real life. As many people that call me an angel, or a light aura, there are just that many that think I'm certifiably insane. Depending on my mood, I can believe either faction, at times.

That being said, me and my "other half" met while on a trip we both knew to be only temporary. So, when we split, it was no surprise. We each were supposed to go our separate ways. And, I, for one, was not looking to meet anyone to attempt to keep up with. But we did meet. And, yes, I do try to keep in touch, as she did, for a while. We were in contact 2-3 times a day for quite some time after splitting, as if we were just checking in, asking for guidance or cheering each other up by way of sharing feelings, much like a husband and wife would do, I imagine. Then, something happened and she just disappeared. No warning, no explanation, except something to do with family. Unable to let her go, I continued trying and she has responded a couple times recently, but she's not there (in the same capacity) and doesn't elaborate on what's happening. However, I can tell that she is answering to let me know I'm still in her heart. As a matter of fact, I've tried to inspire every emotion to get her to respond, when she was MIA. I tried to make her smile, laugh, cry, get angry and I got nothing for the longest time. The minute I resign myself to the fact that this is not meant to be, even though I don't express it out loud, that's when she tries to hold on the strongest, hence my saying in the original post that until her heart lets me go, I don't seem to be allowed to leave on my own accord. It's like I'm stuck in this nowhere land, not having control over the situation and not being able to get out of it, either. And, yes, she knows how I feel. Maybe not every detail, but the usual fears people have of expressing their emotions do not exist within me, where it applies to her. And, she has been more forthright with me, than I know she generally is. Now, I have thought that maybe she was running because I KNOW that she has never been loved as unconditionally, by anyone, as I have shown her, but I also know that's not what is really happening. Don't ask me how I know, but both of us do know how the other feels, and what the other thinks, most of the time. That's been proven over and over. Which is probably why I believe this story isn't close to over, but an explanation as to why I know this would be welcome. I still have regular human doubts, fears and insecurities, so the whole thing is killing me.

None of this would be any big deal, or even seem out of the ordinary, if it weren't for the events that happen whenever I'm ready to give up and move on. That's when she pops up again, just enough to be noticed. Her name, or "our number," shows up everywhere, along with many other signs reminding me of her. The three people, from different walks of life who, on the same day, suggested we were soul-tied, in some way, shape or form. There's just too many instances of something to be ignored. There is something there that I have never, and I 'm pretty sure she has not, encountered before.

[OmegaGenesis801]

Thank you for that perspective. I have heard I'm coming from a place of self-pity and you are not the first person to mention "soul contracts" to me recently. I appreciate you to taking the time to respond as I value all the input I get, even if I might not like the answer itself, right off the bat. But, it's stuff I need to hear because I'm just on the forefront of trying to understand relationships from a karmic perspective. Thank you!

[Theophila]

Welcome omega ,
I felt your heart through your words and I feel for you..and I beleive what you feel.
I went through it years ago,over a decade ago with someone I was only able to become friends , but it was painful to be just friends with someone I felt like this ...
It impacted deeply the events which followed after and we have become estranged ...
There is a part of me that always misses him , like missing a part of myself.
It is not easy emotionally ...I know that for sure ...
I don't know your future , your destiny with this person but I can only say that the person who will get you through this is yourself.
It's great to hear opinions and hear others stories , this is a great place with very kind and understanding people who have been, and many are where you are so you can feel some comfort.
But for me , ultimately the strength came to cope from within and I found many things about myself I never knew through this experience .
I do beleive in soulmate, persons we have made contracts with to live certain relationships , past life soulmates , primary soulmates ...
It's very hard in this life to deal with such things as they are based on how we feel and our inner voice and gut.
There are three great books that helped me feel better about my feelings and what I have been through ...
"Only love is real" my dr. Brian Weiss
And
Micheal newtons " journey of souls " and "destiny of souls "

Both have information based on past life regressions , I truly believe they will speak to you ...

Take care of yourself , and my only humble advice is to not let this take over your existence.
If I learned one thing is as much as miss him I have a life to live....
I hope this helps , even a little ...

[soul.cimmerian]

Originally Posted by Theophila

I don't know your future , your destiny with this person but I can only say that the person who will get you through this is yourself.

This is what I would say too. some advice I would give to my former self is don't over analyze the connection, I did that and burned out often. Really liked reading your story.

[OmegaGenesis801]

Thank you for the advice (and the book titles). I will definitely check them out, along with "Sacred Contract," which was recommended to me the other day, when all this soulmate, soul-tie, past life connection stuff originally came up.

And, I know I only have myself to dig me out of this "hole." Hence, the problem of making the decision to do so, just to be followed up by looking at the clock, or a kitchen timer, to see it's 1:08 (108 being OUR number), even on the clocks that are set wrong. Or seeing her name pop up, like all of a sudden I'm on (her last name) Rd, or see (her last name) Storage Facility, or Mr. (her last name) is running for City/County Alderman (whatever that is). I was unaware an election was even pending until a couple days ago, when signs started appearing in every yard for 5 square miles.

But, I'm sure with all of you people who have taken the time to comment, and me being able to process my thoughts more (besides just in my head/heart), this thing will dissipate soon enough. This is something that burned bright instantly and it's only been a month since starting to extinguish, so it's all still rather fresh.

Thank you all for your support, kind words and advice!

[Colorado]

I'm going to to turn your mind upside down right now, and your heart inside out...

What if I said, that you two were star crossed lovers, that she was your past life wife, you were her past life boyfriend who died in war as a teenager, and she was your husband who betrayed you, or you her 16th century husband?

Now what if I told you that you would come across her in this life as a male, but you wouldn't be together. You would only know so much, but would feel so much of those past lives...

What if I told you that you actually loved others, and had past lives with others, who you loved, , or you had a future where you would live and love someone so much more...

What if I said, you were at a crossroads in your life, a learning lesson, if you will, that you are capable and knowledgeable of so much more, but at this time, are unable to process...
What if it isn't her you are pining for, but the lessons she brings, what if it's just a bump in the road, for you to learn from...

What if it's something inside you that is missing, what if she represents a part of you that's missing...

What if it's not actually her, but you...what if right now, at this minute and hour, you are right where you are suppose to be, right where you were meant to be...would you really need all these answers...or would you be content where you are right now...

What are you really looking for...

What is really missing...

What is it that you really need to know...

[Aldous]

Back in 1978 when me and my twin were in the same English class, near the end of the semester I was sure my twin was my wife in a past life. I kept saying to myself, "I know she is my wife from a past life". This was before I completely recognized our connection. A couple months later, the last time I saw her in person, I had this amazing telepathic experience with her. I felt that some sort of energy was transmitted between us, we both had vibrational patterns which were identical, I could almost see (sense) part of my soul in her and felt part of her soul in me. It felt almost like looking into a mirror and seeing myself reflected back at me. When I got home, I thought about this experience and came to the conclusion that we shared the same soul, but thought that was absurd and thought we both had a common spiritual origin. I never heard of the term twin flame or twin soul at the time, but thought we were soulmates because that was the only term I knew that I thought fit our relationship. Later, when I read Jesse Stern's book Soulmates, I found the term twin flame which said they had a common spiritual origin and realized, that was it. Later on, I found references to twin flames sharing the same soul on the internet and remembered what I experienced back in 1978. Ever since 1978, I couldn't stop thinking about her and realized this was a result of some sort of telepathy. Over time I accepted our separation. Being almost 60 years old, I don't feel like I need to be in a relationship, but I'm still curious about this phenomenon.

Twin flames are real! They're real! I can still feel her presence out there in the world. I know the connection is still there. Learn to live in peace with it.

BTW, I tend to like the term twin soul better because is seems to fit my experiences better, ie. the belief that we were split in 2 just like twins.