Does it really do any good to leave things unsaid?

[ReturningMoon]

Hi everyone. In my opinion you're actually doing worse for your relationships by saying nothing. I think this is especially true when it comes to family. There might be things you need but that need won't get met by bottling things up. I think it's sad really that most families are just about keeping your mouth shut in order to keep a cohesive unit.
This is just my thoughts but do you think leaving things unsaid is a good thing?

[Starman]

Whatever we say should be done with love and kindness, but do not expect for what we say to be accepted, because the person you are talking to may see things differently, or they may get upset at what is being said.

Is there a benefit in staying quiet and what would it cost me to speak up. If it costs peace in the family, it may or may not be worth it. If it effects you and really bothers you, then that is another matter.

I would suggest going to someone you trust, inside of your family or who is not in your family; a school nurse, counselor, a sibling, aunt or other relative which you trust, and first talk to them about it. If a family intervention is needed it is good to have other people on your side.

This is just my opinion, you need to make up your mind not based on what other people say but on how you feel, and what are the details involved. There is no one way to handle this, there is only the way that you want to do it. Rocking the boat can have good or bad consequences; its all about learning how to handle situations.

Originally Posted by ReturningMoon

This is just my thoughts but do you think leaving things unsaid is a good thing?

Absolutely not! I used to do that, this was what I had been taught. Well, I ended up "bursting', because I was full of it. I went really really close to insanity. However it's also equally important in my opinion that when you speak your mind, do it for the sake of honesty and try not to be rude or mean. Wait 'till you calmed down. Some people just cannot be honest and think everyone around them should be to them, so they play these sort of games.

Some people notice that you know, and take advantage of you, jerking you around, being hot and cold, etc.
If you don't speak up, you end up wondering often why you are doing what you are doing. Hanging with people who say they want you here and care but never believe you or pretend they don't see you, etc...
Best to go on with yourself.

[Redchic12]

Sometimes it’s not what you say, is the problem but HOW you say it. Imo

If you come from the heart space with total respect for the other person and say what you have to say in a kindly manner then most people will accept it.

Just my opinion tho.

[Miss Hepburn]

Leaving things unsaid in a family? Do I think it's good...Oh man, Do I?
Some things, talk about, sure. Once said....can't be put back into the bag and forgotten.

[Maisy]

I'm in the camp it's better to keep my mouth closed and say nothing. But I'm sure it depends not only on the context, but the persons involved as well. So for some maybe it's better to talk. Like for me both my parents are violent and extremely abusive. They are so bad I had to stop talking to them altogether. Few times I tried to talk to them it got very bad very fast. I have tried a lot of times to "talk things out" over the years and each time it made things a lot worse. But then my karma involves a lot of abusive family members. Others may have reasonable loving family members.

[Native spirit]

I have given readings to people who were besides themselves because they left things unsaid.
someone had had an argument with a family member for that person to die .suddenly

They felt guilty cross etc that the hadn't put things right
so it is always better to make up


Namaste