Nightmare 2

[Tomma]

This one is from August 2016, 5 months after the one I posted last week. I think it continues the anger/warrior theme and "letting the world in" from the first dream, but I'm not sure of the message. In the first dream I was scared that if I open the door I would get killed - here I do open the door and feel completely overrun!

I live in a large apartment with all my dogs and also a cat (I currently don't have a cat). I take a roommate, and when I open the door she is there with her friends and boyfriend and family, etc, and they are having a party. I’m annoyed because it is already 2am and I can’t sleep because of all the people and the noise and the music. Then, through the roof a large group of military people in camouflage gear come in, kind of jumping down or abseiling, and join the party. There are also other dogs now, and all in all more than 100 people, and it’s very noisy. My apartment is now larger than before, it’s as large as a warehouse. I realize that I can’t find my dogs, they must be very scared and hiding somewhere or have run away. Now I’m not only angry and tired, I’m very worried too. I start searching for them, I’m scared, and this is when I wake up with the feeling “Thank God this was only a dream!”

[H:O:R:A:C:E]

the dream seems to be a reflection of what had brought you to that point,
at that time. it's appearing that you'd invited 'extraneous energies' into
your living space (you'd become involved with people, places, and ideas
which weren't 'of your vibration'; not serving your spiritual development).
the dogs might correspond to your true interests, and they'd become lost
to you in the confusion.
whatever unease you were experiencing at that time may have been a result
of your having pursued interests that weren't true to your nature... maybe
you'd taken on a job that didn't really suit you, and/or been associating with
people who didn't share your world-view.

[Michelle11]

Originally Posted by Tomma

Escapism, yes, I definitely do that. I fall apart emotionally when too much of "the world" (people, circumstances, noise, things to do, problems, things not working out etc) come at once and I feel overwhelmed. Then I panic that I can't do things according to my plans and up to my standard of quality. I feel I lose control and that scares me. I then will either get angry and fight or try to run and hide by being alone, cancelling appointments, getting sick, letting my husband deal with things, etc..

I suspect the dream is a direct reflection of this type of situation you mentioned in the other thread, quoted above. I suspect you had one of those types of days when you had the dream. The point of the dream is when you start to feel the weight of the world ganging up on you, you lose your best friend side. Do you get angry at yourself on top of frustrated with all the demands being put on you? If you do the dream is also trying to say the anger at yourself is hiding the fear the dogs (your friend side) feels. Anger isn't the issue. Anger comes out to protect ourselves from seen and unseen danger, from real and just perceived threats. But it's the fear we need to resolve to find our peace of mind.

I think you stated the basis of most of your fear in the quote above. That you will lose control and not be able to do things perfectly. So ask yourself why that is? Why do you need to do things perfectly and why do you need to have control? What do you fear will be lost if those things don't happen? Did you have authoritarian parents who criticized your performance or efforts? What were the main messages they gave you growing up? Often times our fears are rooted in trying to please others so that we don't get rejected by them and lose their love. If we can do everything right and perfect no one can get mad at us type thinking. Well that is one possibility to consider so just reflect on your past to see where these fears may have come from. What drove you to fear not being perfect and losing control. Discover the source and you may be able to break past the misguided idea that our worth is wrapped up in how well we perform, how perfect we are and how in contol we are. None of those things define us. They only serve to keep us trapped in a cycle of anxiety, worry and stress that's exhausting and self esteem damaging. No one is capable of being perfect. We aren't meant to be because we are works in progress.

[Tomma]

Originally Posted by H:O:R:A:C:E

the dream seems to be a reflection of what had brought you to that point,
at that time. it's appearing that you'd invited 'extraneous energies' into
your living space (you'd become involved with people, places, and ideas
which weren't 'of your vibration'; not serving your spiritual development).
the dogs might correspond to your true interests, and they'd become lost
to you in the confusion.
whatever unease you were experiencing at that time may have been a result
of your having pursued interests that weren't true to your nature... maybe
you'd taken on a job that didn't really suit you, and/or been associating with
people who didn't share your world-view.

Yes H:O:R:A:C:E you are right. At the time my husband and I had a deep and painful rift. I felt our lives were going in different directions, our interests didn't meet. The ideas and plans he had were alien and meaningless to me, and I felt rejected and threatened. Not much has changed since then although he came a small step back towards me and I have learned to let him go and enjoy whatever he likes to do, so there's less tension between us, but not real closeness either.

[Tomma]

Originally Posted by Michelle11

I suspect the dream is a direct reflection of this type of situation you mentioned in the other thread, quoted above. I suspect you had one of those types of days when you had the dream. The point of the dream is when you start to feel the weight of the world ganging up on you, you lose your best friend side. Do you get angry at yourself on top of frustrated with all the demands being put on you? If you do the dream is also trying to say the anger at yourself is hiding the fear the dogs (your friend side) feels. Anger isn't the issue. Anger comes out to protect ourselves from seen and unseen danger, from real and just perceived threats. But it's the fear we need to resolve to find our peace of mind.

I think you stated the basis of most of your fear in the quote above. That you will lose control and not be able to do things perfectly. So ask yourself why that is? Why do you need to do things perfectly and why do you need to have control? What do you fear will be lost if those things don't happen? Did you have authoritarian parents who criticized your performance or efforts? What were the main messages they gave you growing up? Often times our fears are rooted in trying to please others so that we don't get rejected by them and lose their love. If we can do everything right and perfect no one can get mad at us type thinking. Well that is one possibility to consider so just reflect on your past to see where these fears may have come from. What drove you to fear not being perfect and losing control. Discover the source and you may be able to break past the misguided idea that our worth is wrapped up in how well we perform, how perfect we are and how in contol we are. None of those things define us. They only serve to keep us trapped in a cycle of anxiety, worry and stress that's exhausting and self esteem damaging. No one is capable of being perfect. We aren't meant to be because we are works in progress.

Thank you Michelle, again you are quite spot on.

Why do I need control and perfection?
Perfection is how I was brought up. My mother was a single mom, worked full time, provided everything I needed and kept our home spotless. She was very strong and independent, disciplined, good at what she did. I was also good at keeping my living environment clean and nice, I was good at my job, but recently not so much anymore due to the many dogs we adopted, me losing my job, and my deteriorating health problems. All this has slowed me down a lot and our place is often a mess. Every day I wake up with a long laundry list of things that need to be done and fixed, but mostly I don't get them done because either I'm physically not well enough or something happens that takes up my time (for example, today we had a strong thunderstorm, the roof is leaking, and we had two hours no power, so I didn't get round to cleaning the front window as I had wanted). Yes I end up being frustrated and angry. I want to have control over my life but often I don't. It's a feeling sometimes that I'm going under, that I will end up living in utter poverty and dirt and chaos. Fear also that others will ridicule me for not having achieved a better life (in the material sense), like my mom did or my cousins and friends. I think that also ties in with the dream I had a few weeks ago where I told the "Obama" guy that I'm not as well put together as my friend ...

Yes I can see now that all these thoughts and feelings put a huge stress on me ...

But I'm still at a loss how to let go of them ... it seems to be very deeply rooted in me that things should be perfect and clean, neat and pretty etc.

[Michelle11]

It's a process that takes time. There are sometimes layers to get through. Yes, you want to stop being so hard on yourself, get past having unrealistic expectations and trying to prove your worth but there are fears and other stuff going on as well. Over time as you work on yourself and explore who you are you will gain more and more awareness and set yourself free, just set an intention that you want to heal this and life will guide you to that end. It may be through experiences that trigger your fears and conditioning but so you can challenge it and break free from it.

I have a similar challenge and I'm discovering that our soul never expects us to be perfect and a blazing success. Being human is hard enough. Living in a world where money trumps everything else and the most talented and smartest people make crazy amounts of cash while the rest of us struggle it's easy to fall into the trap thinking we need to be super talented and smart to be worthy of abundance. Having people in our lives who are successful can make it harder. Despite how any human treats you, you are loved emensely by spirit. Spirit wants us to only thrive at whatever makes us happy and feeds our passions. When we live based on other people's expectations or success level we lose sight of what makes us happy.

In any event, try to avoid falling into unrealistic pessimism. The idea you will be penniless on the street is a paralyzingly thought. We can't predict what the future holds but odds are it isn't a life on the street. But along with this idea we need to be some unrealistic success in life we also are not an absolute failure either. It's simply the opposite pole of black and white thinking. You will sort things out because a part of you is driven to sort it out or you wouldn't be here. Just try to listen to your ally side more than your enemy side. You are making progress even if it doesn't seem like it. Every new insight is leading you to a resolution. It just takes time to sort it all out. Hugs

[Tomma]

Thank you Michelle for all your support! It means a lot to me.

And not only that, what you say definitely has an effect, it makes things clearer for me. So I was thinking about all this last night, how I always want control, how I feel about myself etc, and when I went to sleep I had an interesting dream, which I will post in a minute. Something definitely shifted in me yesterday/last night!

[Headintheclouds]

Originally Posted by Tomma

This one is from August 2016, 5 months after the one I posted last week. I think it continues the anger/warrior theme and "letting the world in" from the first dream, but I'm not sure of the message. In the first dream I was scared that if I open the door I would get killed - here I do open the door and feel completely overrun!

I live in a large apartment with all my dogs and also a cat (I currently don't have a cat). I take a roommate, and when I open the door she is there with her friends and boyfriend and family, etc, and they are having a party. I’m annoyed because it is already 2am and I can’t sleep because of all the people and the noise and the music. Then, through the roof a large group of military people in camouflage gear come in, kind of jumping down or abseiling, and join the party. There are also other dogs now, and all in all more than 100 people, and it’s very noisy. My apartment is now larger than before, it’s as large as a warehouse. I realize that I can’t find my dogs, they must be very scared and hiding somewhere or have run away. Now I’m not only angry and tired, I’m very worried too. I start searching for them, I’m scared, and this is when I wake up with the feeling “Thank God this was only a dream!”

It's strange, I've had very similar dreams. I can identify with most of the elements; both closing the door on people and opening it, large groups of people disturbing my peace, numerous dogs (I only have one) and the feeling of being overwhelmed and sometimes uneasy. I've realized a few things about these dreams; they bring up my issues with wanting to control my environment and either go out and experience the world and people in it or wanting to shutdown and isolate myself.

I wonder if you can identify with these feelings too?

[Tomma]

Originally Posted by Headintheclouds

It's strange, I've had very similar dreams. I can identify with most of the elements; both closing the door on people and opening it, large groups of people disturbing my peace, numerous dogs (I only have one) and the feeling of being overwhelmed and sometimes uneasy. I've realized a few things about these dreams; they bring up my issues with wanting to control my environment and either go out and experience the world and people in it or wanting to shutdown and isolate myself.

I wonder if you can identify with these feelings too?

Yes absolutely! Losing control over my environment is a big fear of mine. I want everything "perfect" and according to my plans. Other people bring "chaos" and I feel disturbed, hence I withdraw. My mom is the same, I obviously learned all this from her. She keeps everyone at arms length, including me. I'm trying to loosen up ...

[H:O:R:A:C:E]

a little earlier today, i ran across a post that provided this quote:
"We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the
one that is waiting for us." ~ Joseph Campbell

if everything were to turn out exactly as planned, it would seem
to be somewhat 'sterile' to me. allowing others to provide a bit
of chaos for you might be a factor in the 'greater plan', designed
for you by your 'higher self' sensibility.