Time to Move On..But How?

After 3 long painful years, I know it is time to move on from this soulmate connection with my ex. I have gotten so caught up in it all that I see that it is doing me more harm then good.

I know this person loved me, more than anyone else ever has but the timing was all wrong. We both had issues with self love and trusting that what once was a blissful relationship turned into a confusing and emotional roller coater. I spent so much of that time blaming him for it all as he was become distant at times, I did not see what my actions were only making things worse. Looking back I'm ashamed of my actions, which I'm sure made me look to him like crazy person.

He could have left me at anytime but he didn't. I was the one to end it and I know now it was the biggest mistake of life. I put expectations on him and instead I should have just tried to understand at the time what he was going through and realized it had nothing to do with me. That is my biggest problem, I take things too personal and automatically think there must be something wrong with me. He did love me but I have pushed him away and I know he will never trust me enough to ever want to ever try again.

It's time for me to move on and forgive myself. I just don't even know where to start. I still love him so much. After 3 years I feel more strongly towards him than ever, all I can think about is him. None of my other relationships before or after him had any real meaning. I never felt more alive or accepted as I did with my so called Soulmate. He really listened to me and cared about me. Now though it doesn't matter, he clearly has moved on and my feelings are now one sided. Holding on to the fact that I believe we have a soulmate connection is not healthy for me. I just don't even know where to start. I've tried to in the past but I'm just lead to same place as I am now. Any help would be appreciated. :)

Would you feel better letting him know that you realize that you were wrong to push him away? Could you either call him or e-mail even if it's just to apologize? Then leave it in his hands. In the meantime, try to keep busy doing something that you enjoy, think of your good qualities, take care of yourself. Try not to think that he's the only one, you're right it is'nt healthy.