Panhandlers

I wouldn't hand money to homeless people. A majority of pan-handlers make more money in a day than someone who works a full-time job and they are usually feeding an addiction. I don't know about where you live, but where I live, if you see a panhandler on a busy intersection and you stop to give them money, you can be fined for that because it endangers you. The sad thing too is that they have this sense of entitlement too, like they expect things to be handed to them.

If you really want to attempt to help homeless people, write down a list of names and numbers of soup kitchens and homeless shelters in your area. From my experience, I've given a few dollars here and there to people asking me for money in the parking lot (after they gave me some sob story to toy with my heartstrings) and I've regretted it every time. Because of circumstances outside of my control that were not my fault that no one has helped me to resolve, I have no choice but to stay in a homeless shelter now myself and I see people drunk sitting outside all day long. I have no respect for people like that just like I have no respect for those who panhandle. I'd rather suffice on the lousy food I get served at times than to demean myself like that.

If you feel uneasy, trust your instincts and just say, "I'm sorry. I wish I could help but I don't have money."

You can't ever be sure what they're going to spend it on.

Where I live what you tend to see are people either sitting on the side of the street with a cap out for coins - in my experience they either look cold, unwell, in need of help and just sit quietly - or they're busking or doing something for the money. If I have spare change and feel drawn I give to these people. What they spend it on is immaterial to me. When I feel drawn to a soul what I am feeling is a love, an affinity: I see the best in their soul, and I trust them. Sometimes I will buy an extra takeaway meal and hot drink for someone I've walked past if they look in need and I have only ever seen grateful (and slightly disbelieving) eyes. Sometimes just a little "hello, how are you?", a smile, a little chat, is even more needed. If I feel drawn to them, I figure there is a reason and I can help them in some way.

I am talking about two very busy city centres where there are always plenty of other people around so I never feel threatened or unsafe. I don't tend to give money to people who blatantly ask for it.

[Wandering_Star]

Originally Posted by twinkle

What if you just went to the bank for parking money you needed. I usually pay for everything with my credit card, but I needed $10 cash for parking. That is all I had with me. I did not feel like going back to bank to withdraw another $10.

Then all you have to say is, "I'm sorry, but I can't help you today." I routinely tell people, "I'm sorry, but I'm not carrying any cash," and nobody has ever pushed further. In a case like this, if the person saw me with cash in hand, I might say, "All my cash is going to pay for parking, and I don't have any extra."

Plus, I was not sure the woman was really going to use the $10 to buy blankets.

The thing about giving a panhandler money is that you never really know what they will do with it. You just don't. If that bothers you, and you can't get yourself to a state of detachment and acceptance about it, that's fine. Just admit it, accept that this is your personal feelings on the matter, and let go of any negative feelings (such as guilt) you may have about that.

Some people feel guilty and ashamed because they have money while others are homeless, and while they might not want to give, they do it to avoid feelings of guilt at saying no. Others might be so afraid of others' disapproval and anger that they give out of fear, lest by refusing to give they get shouted at, insulted, or physically attacked. Either way, the giver feels like a sucker and a fool afterward, and resents the recipient for "making" them feel guilty or afraid.

It's okay to have clear intentions for what you want your money to do, and stick to them. That clear intention could be wanting to make sure a homeless person gets a meal and a blanket (rather than booze or drugs), or it could be paying for parking.

So if you want to help people who have fallen on hard times, and you want to know for sure that your money is going toward food, clothing, shelter, detox/rehab programs and the like, see what organizations are providing those things in your community, and support them. I support a food pantry, a women's shelter, and a drop-in center for street kids because they provide genuine help to people who want it.

And yes, I give no-strings-attached cash gifts to the most broken-down street people, but I honestly feel led to do it and there are no negative emotions attached to it. When I do it, it feels right to me. If you don't feel a similar leading, that's perfectly okay. My path is not yours, and does not have to be.

I think part of the reason I do it is because I used to live in fear of never having enough money. I was downright miserly because I had no trust in my ability to keep money flowing into my life. So to give a homeless person $5, or $10, or everything I have in my pocket at the moment, and be okay with that and not worry about the money, is a re-affirmation of my own creative power. I know more is coming--more than I need in order to meet my simple needs--so why not give it? To the brother or sister I give it to, that small gift might be nothing short of a miracle. Or maybe not. I don't know, and I don't have to; I'm just acting on a lesson I needed to learn here, in this body, in this life.

I wouldn't give them money, they may use it on their vices. However, giving them food wouldn't be a bad idea. People need to eat!