Ronin, you are keeping the gates closed. Its ok, many do. I did too. Amazing how i could always get such accurate answers, except when they were to myself. I needed a very special mindset to get things through, I needed to focus a lot on allowing.
The hand you felt was your guide. He stood by you watching the gate. He understands what you're going through and he doesn't want to hurry you, but he will help.
My suggestion is: Next time you do that meditation, and if the door wont open, ask your guide to hold your hand and walk through it with you.
Ronin, the doubts you have are normal, and everybody has them at some point. It's part of the journey
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By the way, my guide is a samurai too. ;)
PS: I only noticed now you had a breakthrough. Hmmm, a power animal. Play with it. Its fun!