Detachment from an outcome... maybe not?

[scoobawater]

Originally Posted by SerpentQueen

A lot of your choices are predetermined ("fated")-- they are the result of who you are, including where you were born and to whom, the unique personality traits you were born with, how you were raised, how your culture conditioned you, etc. Yes you can choose otherwise. And yes many people do, and to good success, reshaping their lives. But send them an overwhelming stressful event or challenge, and you'll see that most people revert right back to form. It's very true that you can determine a person's true character by observing them under stress in a crisis.

I don't mean to be cynical, but this is my observation of people. If anything, people become more and more of who they always were, rather than changing dramatically and becoming someone they never were.

If I get what you're saying, I agree. I spent the last, oh I don't know, 95% of my life fighting against who I was, "improving" myself, being someone who I thought I had to be to be happy/successful/desirable, and generally not liking who I really was since I was told it wasn't good enough. Since finding 'him', I feel like myself. My TRUE self. And he accepts me where no one else has. And same with me. Don't get me wrong. I still am doing "work" on myself but now its more of changing perspectives and working within MY true framework rather than changing my essence.