How jealous are you and how do you cope with it?

[AaronStar]

Ah, Jealousy. The mistrustful monster that haunts each breath.
Ever been scared of your partner's phone?
Yes. That's exactly what I mean.
I believe that the trend that has been normalised is not ok. I am referring to constant change of relationships.
Well, not that it is better to be enslaved in one that is not functioning propely and makes you cry.
But normalising the reality where people lose their value and the efforts that build trust and a future, get ruined in a blink? Sounds like monstrosity to me. Let's leave aside the industry with naked flesh, which contributes additionally to the situation.
Why should promises be empty? Why utter words that you don't understand the significance of?
You switch conversations, hoping that this time it would last. Alas.
It gets even more boring and stressful to the point where you simply don't want to go on anymore.
And it's not about despair or giving up. You simply feel disgust at people's approach and psychology.
Anyways... there are small signs that always give it out. Signs that we ignore, not that we don't notice, but we prefer to hide our glimpse of them, as it is more convenient to live in a pink bubble of illusions.
So... if it doesn't feel warm and comfortable, that's enough.
And if you have years of history with someone... and then they decide to move on..
Come on, guys.
We love so that it can last.
Otherwise it's simply not worth it.
It maybe ends because people are not on the same page anymore.
So, personally, I wouldn't date a guy that doesn't read my online diary. Joke aside, conversation is the most important part of it all.
I want to laugh, to communicate casually (not small talk), to be random, to exchange ideas. (To have sex. LOL)
I don't know what to add.
If the person I love gives up the interest towards other women for me, not on purpose but because I provoke a fiery spark in him that distracts him from the other females, I'd praise him and worship him forever.
Yes. That is the truth. Unless a person stays infatuated with you forever, it won't work out.
Being in love is being silly and goofily focusing only on the better half.
My uncle, God bless his memory, awed my aunt so much for her intelligence and personality, that he couldn't think of another lady.
Tolkien is another good example of refined love.

Yes. Dream big. Otherwise you'll always make compromises.

I have not been jealous in previous relationships and was for years in one and not been jealous (with a man I have often received the compliments that he is very good looking and nice, and I would get used to him getting looks and appreciation, but I think it was the way he would handle it, with or without knowing I cast a look his way, that made me feel safe. I think that was more about him than about me. His standard, what he would think was being acceptable behavior on his part while in a relationship. He did other things as well on his own, we never talked about it, it was his decision to make, I never said anything, he knew what was right and wrong and we just did not discuss it. Had I suspected something - then yes, but I never did. Sadly I had to see what some friends had to go through with their partners, when it got to be a problem) until something for me triggered it. It used to be more the other way around that my partner showed more jealousy, why I couldn't figure out, I did not want that, felt then as if I had failed. Even the good looking guy use to have his moments.

When I had my period of feeling jealous it was one of the darkest periods of my life, I found it completely bewildering, but I overcame it. I did feel this sudden urge to control my partner but I fought against it even if he offered me too, as his way of telling me I could trust him, I knew that was not the way to go, besides it was too late, the damage was already done, and me beginning to control someone like that would have been so destructive. What would be the point? Fake safety. You either trust or you don't. There is nothing in between.

Had I continued to feel that kind of jealousy I would have had to save myself by ending the relationship.

I think the one who suffers from jealousy suffers the most, but the partner also suffers. Now at least I get what it is like to suffer from jealousy and I wouldn't wish it on nobody. Who knows? Maybe I even asked for it on a higher level? How it would feel like to be on the other side of things?

I think we all have a need to have mental, spiritual and physical closeness, connection, to feel loved and to love as adults and when we have to make other priorities or other things that disconnects us we still have that need and that is when one has to watch out.

Important to talk about what is it to be faithful and what is not, one might think both think the same way, and then it is not until it happens that it gets wrecked and can be too late, beyond repair.

Then again who am I to give any advice about love life, LOL, take what I have to say with a grain of salt

I wish everyone the best with it :)

[FairyCrystal]

I overcame the worst of my jealousy by working on intuitive development, personal growth & development etc. It was a nice side-effect that I hadn't counted on.
I think jealousy is for the most part based in low self-esteem, not feeling worthy and so on.

But jealousy doesn't have to be bad. It depends why you are jealous and how you deal with it. Some people give you reason to be jealous. I had such a partner and in all honesty it wasn't blind jealousy, but more pain and feeling rejected. Which is why he did it (narcissist).
So it can be a good red flag that asks you to take a look at a situation or person to see if they are actually right for you and support you and serve your Highest Good. Or not.

Then there's how you deal with it. You can go totally crazy and throw and yell and scream, or you can acknowledge the feeling, possibly tell the person these feelings, and also say you don't like feeling that way. And maybe withdraw from the situation that made you feel that way until you see clearly again. But that's more if it comes up and there is no real reason for it.

So for me it varies. If a person gives me good reason like that narcissist, yes, I'm jealous, and horribly hurt too. And with such a person who does that knowing he's hurting you, you will not get any comfort either.
I've also been with partners that never gave me reason. I trusted them 100%. In the end it turned out I was too trusting and should've put question marks up here and there. But then, if that is necessary, it again isn't the right person.

[Miss Hepburn]

Originally Posted by AaronStar

Ah, Jealousy. The mistrustful monster that haunts each breath.

Ok, I'm going to tell you my first thoughts...it may give you a diff perspective..that's all...of how others think.
First thought: "Jealous? of what? Why would I be jealous if my partner is attracted to someone...let it run it's course...it's natural."

If they leave me because of it ---so be it.
(And they did after 11 years...oh well. Was meant to be!!) Actually the best thing that ever happened to me.
[2 xs at the 11-12 year mark! As matter of fact.]


This is an opportunity for me to say again ...If anyone reading this has a broken heart ?
Buy Motherwort tincture, about $12...it is like magic.
Take a dropper a day... You probably will stop after 2-3 days.

[Traveler]

No, I absolutely trust my husband.

[Native spirit]

I am not a jealous person,im of the opinion if its meant to be it will be



Namaste