Kundalini and inexplicable emotions

Emmalevine · #1 21-01-2015, 11:26 AM

I had a Kundalini awakening in 2010 and it was very intense for a while but lessened as my attention went back to dealing with my earthly life. I've been focussing a lot on meditation and kundalini energy again recently as I've reached a point where I've ready to surrender to spirit and develop this awakening further, if I can. The energy has been responding to this because now I'm getting a lot of humming in my ears again, hearing tones, getting cold bursts of air wash over me during meditation, and the like. I've also been unable to sleep properly and keep waking frequently, like every hour.

Anyway, the reason for the post is this: during last night after a longish period of being awake I started to enter that half sleep state. I was aware of myself feeling really angry that I couldn't sleep and I began (in my mind) effing and blinding about the fact I can't sleep and I've got a busy day ahead. What is strange about this is that it didn't seem to come from me at all. I do get angry, for sure, but not like this; I don't swear and get ridiculously worked up about a sleepless night because I'm used to them! I've never been a good sleeper. I also felt a horrid surge of energy that seemed to take me over, a bit like adrenalin when you're about to blow and can't do anything to stop it. I wanted to start punching pillows etc to get rid of this awful energy.

Around the same time I had a dream that someone said to me 'Never be a counsellor AND a medium for you never know what is going to come through.' I remember feeling very disturbed by that. I'd like to be a counsellor eventually, or some kind of healer. The dream might not mean this literally, but it sort of suggests a healing energy can be affected by spirits coming through? Or something?

Looking over my post I haven't explained this well but what stood out for me is the feeling of something quite unpleasant about opening up to kundalini. As if the energy has something bad to it.

I have no fear of kundalini or awakening per se. It feels nothing but positive. I have been practicing grounding very recently under the advice of someone I've been doing spiritual work with.

Has anyone experienced something similar? A feeling of being out of control or having very negative emotions in connection to kundalini that don't seem your own?

LadyMay · #2 21-01-2015, 12:02 PM

People have tons of spiritual entities attached to them all the time. Entities after being with you for a while will think that they are actually you, and visa versa. When you have a Kundalini awakening the energy will start to bring the entities up to the surface to be released. You will start to become aware of them more also as your awareness deepens and expands. What's happening is that the entity and you are starting to realise you are not each other.. so one feels one thing and the other feels something else. There's a separation process happening here. What you want to do is try and figure out what keeps you two bound. It'll be an emotional wound that is hidden behind the anger. You have to release the anger before you can see the wound properly and heal it through realisation and acceptance. Once you do that the entity will detach from you.

These emotions don't feel your own because they're not your own. But somewhere down the line you share a trauma which is why you're together. For support and validation.

LadyMay · #3 21-01-2015, 12:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Starbuck

Looking over my post I haven't explained this well but what stood out for me is the feeling of something quite unpleasant about opening up to kundalini. As if the energy has something bad to it.

It's a very powerful energy and we are right to be cautious of it. But many religious people mistake it for being something negative and evil when really it is just so powerful it brings the negative and evil things already there to the surface for release.

People don't want to face their inner demons. Go easy with your process. It's easy to become overwhelmed with this energy and what it can do.

Emmalevine · #4 21-01-2015, 12:21 PM

Thanks for that Scarlett. It does make sense what you're saying, i guess I'm just surprised because I have spent years in therapy and with spiritual practitioners dealing with my 'stuff' and I think I'm quite self aware. I guess the process is rarely finished though and maybe there is a thread of anger I haven't looked at (i've looked at anger in depth in therapy). I do struggle with feeling out of control in regard to some aspects of my life but not sure if this relates to the past as I feel so much peace and forgiveness around that.

LadyMay · #5 21-01-2015, 12:35 PM

That makes two of us. :) I had my Self-realisation last year. But even so a year later I come to realise I have an entity attached to me from an issue that I didn't see, not even when I realised my entire being from a transcended viewpoint.

This is what people call 'karma'. Your stuff goes really deep. Deeper than you even realise. That's why it's called 'unconscious'.

I have come to the conclusion that unless we can sit in Samadhi (Divine Union) ten hours a day or even just one without any negative side effects then we still have blockages and wounds and entities to deal with. So that makes 99.99% of us still carrying traumas around.

You may have forgiven your past and come to peace with it as I have my own, but the impressions of what happened are still upon your psyche. In India they call these 'Sanskaras'. We have to learn to clear them all.

Emmalevine · #6 21-01-2015, 05:09 PM

Yes I think you're right. I was slightly triggered by a situation last week actually although I remained aware of the trigger and my emotion throughout so as a result it didn't effect me as long as it would have done previously. The unconscious runs deep so it would make sense that there's going to be blockages there still.