Quote:
|
Originally Posted by taurmel
I'm just wondering if that was what this soul signed up for, or if my karmic cords demand my solitude in this lifetime!
I've never dated the same person twice, and if you lined up my relationships, not one pair of persons would denote I am attracted to a certain type! I'm wondering, because people I've known in all my years say they're meant to be single, then they've suddenly met someone shortly after the declaration. But, I have never felt like any relationship was the one, even the shy-of-a-decade marriage that ended a while ago...I've been single for three years now and haven't dated in that time, haven't wanted to as I worked on myself.
I wonder if maybe I'm just not meant to be with anyone in this life! Even my dreams for after the kids graduate and move on with their own lives are me doing things alone.
I'm just becoming quite lonely lately, sometimes painfully so, and wonder if all the failed relationships at different points of learning and life just mean that I'm destined to make this a happy life with my perfect partner...myself :p (joke)!
Does anyone know anyone who is happily living a life alone? And what they've said about it in regards to their choice?
|
I've had periods of being alone and not being alone. And then there is alone and there is
really alone.
A little background: I don't have a strong family support. I never had. Some was my doing some just the way things worked out. Something to keep in mind while you read my thoughts.
There were years when I was raising my kids, like you are doing. It's hard being a single mom. You have to be everything. And I was alone then, though I had my kids living with me.
After the kids were raised I was alone again. I mean really alone. No one but me living in my house. And no family where I live and no family moral support. Now that's really alone.
Right now I'm married but my hubby is gone a lot. He just left this morning for 5 days. And I'll be alone. But I'm okay with that. I've learned to fill my life with things I like to do. And not depend on another person to fill my void. I've learned not to feel sorry for myself.
The fact that I married was unexpected. I wasn't looking. I just kind of fell into this relationship with a man whom I had known socially for 4 years. It just developed, totally unexpected. And yes, I do love him very much.
I have friends. I could call one if I needed to but I don't need to. Being alone has given me a strong core. It's given me time to figure out me. And it's allowed me to learn to like me. To feel comfortable with the silence. To cherish a good book or my favorite television program or pig out on my favorite sinful food while I'm alone (and not have to share).
Me and my husband don't have the same friends or walk in the same circles. Even when he is home, he's cagey and restless. I've learned to accept that and give him my blessing.
I also have severe food allergies and can't go to social get-togethers with him. Because the foods served would make me deathly ill. This has added to my being alone. But like I said above, I don't feel sorry for myself. It's just the way it is.
Yes, I think my life plan detailed a lot of alone time. It was necessary for this time, away from the main stream, to learn some very essential things I needed to learn. So I'm learning them.
Someday I might be alone again. I don't fear that.
Threaded Mode