I think I may have been not very nice....

[Tobi]

Okay Lawlor...I hope this doesn't sound arrogant because I really really don't mean it to.
We are not here to learn how to do tricks. I honestly think we don't venture into our multi-dimensional selves in order to do tricks either. I feel we are in existence (on any plane) in order to learn how to harmonise eventually with Spirit, and to 'come from our hearts'.

As you asked me the question I will answer. I shapeshifted to defend myself at the time and it worked beautifully. I did it from pure instinct and a deep need under extreme duress, and to defend myself, as a mother wolf would defend her pups. That's exactly how it felt at the time. When it happened it was an act of self-nurture not aggression.
I was amazed how easy it was to do. It was infused with a primal desire. And a one-pointed focus.
It lasted only a few moments, had the desired effect, and I returned.
But it was about 48 hours until I could fully integrate, so a thing like that isn't to be done lightly unless someone is very skilled perhaps? Shifting had a profound effect on my subconscious, and I am a very steady solid 'earthed' kind of person. So it might possibly be unwise for anyone who is struggling with mental health issues etc....

Anyway, what I'd like to say also is that no matter what anyone did in the past -even if that past was only yesterday -anyone can start to turn things around at any given moment. Turning things around usually means doing the opposite of whatever the 'bad deeds' used to be. I don't think we should get too bogged down in what we used to be and what we used to do, but start aiming for what we want to be instead.

Originally Posted by Lawlor

Hello, I thought I would see if anyone else has had incredibly tough experiences and wonders if this might be a paying of their karmic debt? I suffer schizophrenia which included 1000 days of constant waking nightmares, all ingeniously different and horrifying I have yet to come to terms with any of it...Yeh it was bad. But I see huge providence in what I went through, because now I am much, much better, the experiences are far less intense and my life has become awesome! I have a great girl friend, lovely flat, brilliant friends and family, potential to succeed and constant helping from the angels and God. I see proof of this darker self who I was paying for in my consciousness, the force of absolute evil inside me was incredible, and fairly terrifying.

I battled and battled this part of me for years as well as many other parts of my illness but this consciousness suffered with me and is now being cleansed! So I was wondering if anyone thinks this is possible or has actually happened to them? It is obvious to me that this was God's plan and I was a very naughty boy/girl in a previous life. Feel no shame if you are, we all pay our dues, if more people knew that then the world would be a far better place!

Hi Lawlor.

I am so sorry for the difficulties you've had in your life. I have a twin brother who is schizoaffective, so I have an idea of what you are going through.

I have had a very difficult life, more because of extreme abuse from my father and major deaths of loved ones (partners and children). I've posted about this before, so I won't go through the details now, but I am Hindu and completely believe in karma, and have thought the same exact thing you have. I've wondered for a very, very long time what kind of horrendous person I could have been to have been condemned to this sort of suffering in this life. I have been, what I would consider, an exemplary person in this life. I've volunteered with charities since I was nine years old, I'm the sort of person who does good for the sake of doing good, I'm truly a good person, but I've had more loss than I think anyone should have to withstand in several lifetimes, much less one. But I was told a very long time ago by two different priests in India that this was my last reincarnation, and in your last life you must work off any bad karma you have left, which would explain my situation.

Someone on this forum posted something in response to my thread that was wonderful, and I want to post it here. I can't say I have accepted it, but it did make me feel better (I still think I'm working off bad karma from before, but what he posted has certainly given me something to think about). This was posted by H.O.R.A.C.E., who I have seen say he tries to see good in any situation:

"my sense of things is that you have an excess of positive karma.
that enables you to weather storms that less bouyant souls might sink from.
not only do we each have individual karma, but the entire species of humanity
shares a collective karma as well.
i imagine that you might be helping all of us to balance out some of the bad vibes we've incurred over generations...
from your abundance of positive energy... in this, your proclaimed ''final incarnation''.
thanks much!"

I don't know if this will help you, but it may give you something to think about.

I wish you very well.

[Miss Hepburn]

I was definitely not a great person in my last 2 lives.
I'm not paying any 'karmic debt'...I'm just learning.

Things come to me that appear to be unpleasant, but they are
sheer perfection for me to be shown how to be a wonderfully kind person...
like a rolling stone getting smoother.

Wow, that's crazy Kiran, for I to think this is my last life! It's a deep knoweldge inside me, that kept me going through the dark years, that if I get through this life, without dying by my own hand, I'm off to a different plane! I wonder, have you noticed a darker side inside you? I was horrified at mine, it was just so evil, but self acceptance is the way to combat the shadow self, which took me a while to learn. I battled against it with my thoughts for years before I realised that....lol

That's lovely Miss.Hepburn, I'm learning to be kinder in this life to.

And Tobi, I guess I would see it is a power, a trick I suppose, I always wanted super powers....lol guess that's why I don't do that sort of thing. Thanks for wiseing me up to it, I did think it would be awesome to do when you mentioned it. I know an impeccable temperament is a nessecity for attaining feats of achievement like that....luckily! Something to work on I guess, I still crave power, which I attribute to living lives on Earth without any and being bullied at school in this life. Thanks for the replys guys, I feel comforted in some way, this website rocks!