What do I do?

[candyfloss28]

I have a friend who drinks, smokes weed and says every swear word under the sun. A part of me wants to stop being friends but the other part is telling me I would be judgemental if I do.

[Native spirit]

You have to do what you think is right for you, I have known people who swear smoke weed etc but that was a mask to cover their Insecurities. some people cant express how they really feel,
so they think that by doing what others do makes them feel that they will be excepted.


Namaste

[sky]

Originally Posted by candyfloss28

I have a friend who drinks, smokes weed and says every swear word under the sun. A part of me wants to stop being friends but the other part is telling me I would be judgemental if I do.

What do you personally enjoy from being with your friend ?

[Morpheus]

Tell them life is short. Tell them you care.

Originally Posted by candyfloss28

I have a friend who drinks, smokes weed and says every swear word under the sun. A part of me wants to stop being friends but the other part is telling me I would be judgemental if I do.

You could take up drinking, smoking weed, and cussing. Is it those things in and of themselves that are bothering you, or is it something else that results from them? I can think of far greater flaws then those. I would far prefer the company of many who drink, smoke, and cuss than that of a lying televangelist who bilks money from the poor and poor of spirit who are drawn to the message of Jesus.

You are already being judgmental just by the fact that you want to stop being friends with them. You can't change that fact by not following through with it. The questions are why do you really wish to stop being their friend, what are you basing that judgment on, and how good is your judgment?

Matthew 5:27–28
27 Ye have heard that it was said by them of
old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery:
28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh
on a woman to lust after her hath committed
adultery with her already in his heart.

[Phaelyn]

Originally Posted by candyfloss28

I have a friend who drinks, smokes weed and says every swear word under the sun. A part of me wants to stop being friends but the other part is telling me I would be judgmental if I do.

Some who drink, smoke, and cuss are nice and loving, some are mean and toxic, so depends on the person if I would want to be friends with them of not.

Judging and seeing things clearly, as they are, are two different things. Right and wrong exists. Goodness and evil. Like when Jesus was suffering on the cross, being killed in one of the most painful ways possible, by the hands of men, Jesus said, "Father forgive them, they know not what they do."

What they were doing was evil, wrong, but Jesus was not judging "them" as they were acting out of ignorance. They were ignorant, and what they were doing was evil.

So seeing the reality that someone may be addicted to drugs and alcohol and perhaps anger, if cussing a lot, is not "judging." Judging is thinking someone is a bad person instead of thinking what they are doing is bad. Subtle difference but a big difference as well. Everyone is a child of God, perfect, it's just we get tangled up in bad things for various reasons. But all can change with God's grace.

So if we decide to not be someone's friend, it's not because we see them as bad, (that's judging) it's because we see the things they do are bad. That is not judging them, it's judging or being aware of what they do, it is understanding the reality of what they are doing or what they did and will continue to do. But it's wholly up to us to decide if we want to be friends with someone. We have to follow our hearts. One has to love themselves as well as others, so that means to not only do no harm to others, but also to do no harm to yourself. To treat others with love and kindness as well as treating ourselves with love and kindness. Sometimes that means cutting those who harm us, or wish us harm, out of our lives.

[Phaelyn]

Double Post

Originally Posted by candyfloss28

I have a friend who drinks, smokes weed and says every swear word under the sun. A part of me wants to stop being friends but the other part is telling me I would be judgemental if I do.

You know what, I have met people who did not drink, smoke weed or swear, and consider themselves to be so good and rightists when in fact they were terribly selfish and did terrible things. This is just my observation. The weed thing I would be worried about, but then again I am always worried about any type of drug (although to my understanding not everyone consider this a drug but a medicine?) the drinking not so much if it is not the amount of an alcoholic and the swearing would honestly not bother me one bit. I once knew a lady that was very dear to me and my God did she swear...she was a really good person.

I would look at the intent the person has that does all this. Is the intent to hurt anyone else? Or to hurt themselves? I think that is what matters...If they are aiming to hurt themselves it has to do with not granting one self the love one should. If hurting others it is obviously no good...

If you look beyond these facts you stated - is your friend a good friend to you?

Be kind to yourself first.
Set boundaries and see where it goes.

Wow, he drinks, smokes weed and swears? Your life must be tough.