Getting angry too easily

[django]

Thanks everyone for your responses, I've been watching my anger closely when it arises and overall just trying to increase my awareness around this issue as my way through, though not letting it out on those around me. It is still complicated, but the good advice in this thread has been very helpful to read and contemplate.

[Golden Eagle]

Anger: Cooling the Flames by Thich Nhat Hahn

[So'ham]

Hi django. Hi everyone else. I'm still very new to the fourm and it amazes me the amount of wisdom packed into every thread. People sharing life experience to help each other out is awesome.

I'd like to throw my 2 cents in if you dont mind since you, django, shared your experience. I'd like to share what works for me when I'm feeling this way.

I feel like the spirtual path although it truly is forsaking the physical path still requires us to balance it out. We are in fact human. Every moment of everyday of our lives. As such we are subject to foul and negative emotions. Always will be. Even the greatest of Sages had issues late in life. These types of things are apart of our experience.

In terms of the anger itself I've found this trick works for me. And not just for anger, jealously, greed, any emotion even love, joy ect.

I do two things:

1. Ask why
2. Look for the truth

I ask why because it gives me the space to look at the anger itself. And staring anger in the face gives off some heat. Its a very powerful emotion and a person can get intoxicated with it easily if you let go into it. But asking why and looking at it is necessary. If you deal with each anger bout as it comes up that will be less energy stored away for the next one. And there will most likely be a next one, but if you deal with it head on and ask why you are angry. The intensity and frequency will be less and less as you work them out.

The reason I included "look for the truth" is because we have a tendency to accept excuses that we have been feeding our minds and claim thats how we really feel. When we really at the core of our being; dont. So if you think about it and and determine its one thing, ask if its the truth. If its not ask why again. The truth deal with everything if you are in fact honest about how you feel you can then decide to either accept it or reject it. To either deal with it and no longer get angry or wipe it out of you existence and never deal with it again.

Also for me there were times that I followed this trail of "why's", that I had discovered (and I had long trails, it was hard being honest), it wasnt really anger at all. It was another emotion I was feeling, that really started it all. Anger to me is a secondary emotion. Something else usually starts it off first, like shock or fear or something else. Regardless though asking why and looking for the truth works. It did for me.

So'ham

[revolver]

The only way to get rid of anger is to find the source of why you are anger, there is no other way.

[So'ham]

Oh I'd like to add. Blowing off some steam is great to especially with letting some of the anger out. A walk, some pushups anything physical except for knocking someones head off really. Those emotions sometimes need some physical expression so the lid doesn't pop. Working out regular helps keep the anger in check since you'd always be doing something.

So'ham

[revolver]

Originally Posted by So'ham

Oh I'd like to add. Blowing off some steam is great to especially with letting some of the anger out. A walk, some pushups anything physical except for knocking someones head off really. Those emotions sometimes need some physical expression so the lid doesn't pop. Working out regular helps keep the anger in check since you'd always be doing something.

So'ham

These thing a re great but all they do is push the anger or what is causing the anger deeper, until one day it will erupt again.

[So'ham]

It was in addition to what I had written before. Not to push it away but to express it physically to take the levelz down. Same reason why we take deep breaths and blow them out when feeling anxious. Its a way of reducing the energy so you can think straight again.

[Gem]

Originally Posted by So'ham

Oh I'd like to add. Blowing off some steam is great to especially with letting some of the anger out. A walk, some pushups anything physical except for knocking someones head off really. Those emotions sometimes need some physical expression so the lid doesn't pop. Working out regular helps keep the anger in check since you'd always be doing something.

So'ham

Yep, it's a more positive way to direct anger and a lot of lifters I know deliberately become angry and aggressive so they can power into the barbell, as it is a very explosive energy, isn't it.

Getting to the core where it starts from is tricky because it well up so fast and overwhelms, but it's still possible to let it arise without becoming compulsively driven by it.

I think there are myths about 'releasing it', as releasing doesn't actually imply expressing it or repressing it, it really implies allowing that feeling to be as it is without doing anything. Even that meditator sitting like Buddha statue could have a rage burning inside. Like that meditator you quoted, becoming aware of all the psychological contents and habits in there, wasn't raging about the meditation hall 'releasing it' through some sort of wild expression - just sitting there as they became aware, "so this is what I have been doing all this time."

A Human Being capped the mindful practice of feeling it as it is in the body, sans the psychological story of it... so we are not distracted by the mind's elaboration and can be aware of it as a real lived sensation - how it really feels. No expression of it, no repression of it, no story about it - just the real life fact that it is there and it feels like 'this'. And feel it in the body in as much detail as possible, every little bit of it, as that might reveal some deeper aspect of some root cause.

[A human Being]

Originally Posted by Gem

I think there are myths about 'releasing it', as releasing doesn't actually imply expressing it or repressing it, it really implies allowing that feeling to be as it is without doing anything.

This is an excellent and crucial point, because I think people do often get the wrong idea when they think about releasing their anger - often they'll equate releasing with reacting, so they'll yell and scream, point the finger of blame, become physically violent, etc., which might provide momentary relief but does little to discharge the underlying energy, because it's behaviour that's coming from a place of resistance. So the key really is to keep your attention out of your mind and instead in your body, to relax the resistance you're feeling and thus allow the trapped energy to arise and release. And I can't stress enough that this is an on-going process - we've learnt to repress our emotions from a young age, and undoing that habit doesn't typically happen overnight.

[lemex]

Originally Posted by django

Thanks everyone for your responses, I've been watching my anger closely when it arises and overall just trying to increase my awareness around this issue as my way through, though not letting it out on those around me. It is still complicated, but the good advice in this thread has been very helpful to read and contemplate.

Can relate and there are some good thoughts given here. A friend of mine once told me it isn't important I get angry but how quickly I can change it (not being angry). I found this out once when I got angry. I found I was not in the moment, that's what I became aware of. I then began the practice to remain aware and observe it. Anger is communication to, a hidden secret I found for me. I even practiced not getting angry in the same situation. The surprising thing is my view of anger now since everyone gets angry in the context seen.