Near Death Experience still haunts me

[Silver]

Originally Posted by NDE_er

My nde happened when i was 12. I am now 63.

They made me come back. I didn't want to. In fact, I fought them to stay. However, there's no going against the plan over there.

It was the beautiful, all-encompassing light of love that we all hear about. Nothing like anything experienced here on earth.

I don't know why I was sent back. I've been looking at you tube videos on the near death experience. All of the people that didn't want to come back were told that they had a job on earth that needed to be done.

Well, I'm 63 now. The only job that was ever close to my heart was raising my three daughters. Well, they are raised and doing fine. Now what????

I want to go home.

My apologies, didn't mean to be too tough on ye, but it has been a long time since it happened -- on second thought, it had to be such a powerful experience for such a young girl to remember it so strongly all this time.

It's easy to agree with all the other people's opinions -- you did a wonderful job no doubt - if your grown kids are doing swell. Kudos to you!

[Tobi]

Hey....as for "now what?" it is such a cliche, but still very true, that tomorrow is another day, and it's only sometimes in hindsight that we see how good it was that we happened to 'be there' for some incident, or someone who needed us, which we could not have imagined would happen.

[DesertRose]

Originally Posted by NDE_er

My nde happened when i was 12. I am now 63.

They made me come back. I didn't want to. In fact, I fought them to stay. However, there's no going against the plan over there.

It was the beautiful, all-encompassing light of love that we all hear about. Nothing like anything experienced here on earth.

I don't know why I was sent back. I've been looking at you tube videos on the near death experience. All of the people that didn't want to come back were told that they had a job on earth that needed to be done.

Well, I'm 63 now. The only job that was ever close to my heart was raising my three daughters. Well, they are raised and doing fine. Now what????

I want to go home.

You are doing your 'job', just by being here..
Deep inside, we all want to go Home and yes, Earth can be a cruel place, but I guess we're exactly where we wanted to be..

Thank you for your responses.

I appreciate every one of them.

Blessings to you all.

[CrystalSong]

I understand your sentiment NDE er.
In 1996 at 30 years old on a tributary to the Amazon River where I had contracted Shigella Dysentery, and little known to us at eh time was injecting Tetracycline that had gone bad and was slowly dying from medicinal poisoning, my body finally 'gave up the ghost' and I crossed over.
What I crossed over into was as unexpected as could be. I was expecting more of a tunnel of white light, Jesus waiting or Saint Peter at the pearly gates.
What I landed in would take me two decades and Spiritual Awakening to figure out. For it was filled with the crossed over spirits of many of those from Amazonian Tribes who'd died in that area, all of them just waiting for something, it was a Holding area with nothing in it but souls Waiting. They were tattoo'd , feathered, some had monkey skins draped over their shoulders, others had bone piercing in their cheeks or noses, many had rudimentary weapons, most had little but a loin cloth on. I knew they were chiefs, warriors and the shaman of the region who had died and for some reason ended up in this place of No Time, No movement and just Waiting.
They saw me, several moved towards me, screaming telepathically "Intruder! Outsider! Kill!" It scared me back into my body which was growing cold already.

I was haunted by that for decades. What was it. Why was it, how'd I get there, how'd I get back into my body, why wasn't the after life what every one said it would be? And what was I supposed to do now, what was the point of anything?

In 2011 on December 9th at 2pm in the afternoon, several months after I had given up completely on the human experience, handed the music I wanted played at my funeral to the choir director, apologized to whatever God maybe for not figuring out what being here was about and not being able to help anyone else figure it out also and was wrapping my earthly affairs up in order to leave, Awakening happened.

Shortly after that I was able to return at will in meditation to places like I'd gone to in the Amazon NDE and realms much higher and was finally able to understand what happened in the interior of the Amazon those many years ago. Extreme illness of the deadly variety had force my consciousness to flee the dying body and I'd gone to the 4th dimension, or astral realms as we call it, in that case the section directly associated with the region my body was in in the 3rd dimension.
It wasn't my time to cross over yet, life would, in the fullness of time change, awakening would come and I would at last be in a position to assist others with the many struggles we face in this mortal existence.

I clearly remember though, that it didn't happen until some very deep part of me surrendered, in this silent terrifying way, something I was almost hiding from my self, the left hand didn't know what the right hand was doing.
That was the beginning of Surrender, there would be much more of it to come along the Path.

NDE er your life has served Purpose, and there IS more to come, the reason your returned maybe something you couldn't or can't figure out but from the Other Side with full knowledge you will see was deeply important and profound. Down here we have blinders and ear muffs on, by design, as we play out a great impromptu script with little knowledge that it is happening. It is with hindsight that we understand why things happened as they did most often.

I don't have good advice for you, but I remember well feeling as you are feeling now and feeling that for 2 decades.... the seeming pointlessness of it all, the almost cruelness of persistent existence.
All I can offer you is that this too can change and our perspective be alter 180 degrees in the flash of a moment.

My experiences still have a hold over me.. nothing makes sense anymore.. I've died ten times and someone says they relate.. we all do they say.. we all die.. living simultaneous lives.. I don't know what is the reason why, but I can't accept that I died.

[Joseph B. Livingston]

Originally Posted by Tobi

These years we find so hard-going are just the blink of an eye when viewed from another dimension.

I forget what passage it is in the Bible, but it's taught that 1 day in Heaven is equal to 1000 years on Earth. If you break that down, 15 minutes in Heaven equals roughly 25 years on Earth. Puts some perspective on the idea, huh?

[Joseph B. Livingston]

Originally Posted by NDE_er

My nde happened when i was 12. I am now 63.

They made me come back. I didn't want to. In fact, I fought them to stay. However, there's no going against the plan over there.

It was the beautiful, all-encompassing light of love that we all hear about. Nothing like anything experienced here on earth.

I don't know why I was sent back. I've been looking at you tube videos on the near death experience. All of the people that didn't want to come back were told that they had a job on earth that needed to be done.

Well, I'm 63 now. The only job that was ever close to my heart was raising my three daughters. Well, they are raised and doing fine. Now what????

I want to go home.

I feel that way all the time....I want to go home. I've got a few more years than you, presumably. Until my time, I just hope I'm doing ok by God's standards. But I remember reading a quote from a famous Prophet. When asked, "What is weakness?", he replied, "Love of this world and fear of dying." This makes me think that maybe I'm stronger than I give myself credit for.

[Tobi]

Originally Posted by CrystalSong

I understand your sentiment NDE er.
In 1996 at 30 years old on a tributary to the Amazon River where I had contracted Shigella Dysentery, and little known to us at eh time was injecting Tetracycline that had gone bad and was slowly dying from medicinal poisoning, my body finally 'gave up the ghost' and I crossed over.
What I crossed over into was as unexpected as could be. I was expecting more of a tunnel of white light, Jesus waiting or Saint Peter at the pearly gates.
What I landed in would take me two decades and Spiritual Awakening to figure out. For it was filled with the crossed over spirits of many of those from Amazonian Tribes who'd died in that area, all of them just waiting for something, it was a Holding area with nothing in it but souls Waiting. They were tattoo'd , feathered, some had monkey skins draped over their shoulders, others had bone piercing in their cheeks or noses, many had rudimentary weapons, most had little but a loin cloth on. I knew they were chiefs, warriors and the shaman of the region who had died and for some reason ended up in this place of No Time, No movement and just Waiting.
They saw me, several moved towards me, screaming telepathically "Intruder! Outsider! Kill!" It scared me back into my body which was growing cold already.

I was haunted by that for decades. What was it. Why was it, how'd I get there, how'd I get back into my body, why wasn't the after life what every one said it would be? And what was I supposed to do now, what was the point of anything?

In 2011 on December 9th at 2pm in the afternoon, several months after I had given up completely on the human experience, handed the music I wanted played at my funeral to the choir director, apologized to whatever God maybe for not figuring out what being here was about and not being able to help anyone else figure it out also and was wrapping my earthly affairs up in order to leave, Awakening happened.

Shortly after that I was able to return at will in meditation to places like I'd gone to in the Amazon NDE and realms much higher and was finally able to understand what happened in the interior of the Amazon those many years ago. Extreme illness of the deadly variety had force my consciousness to flee the dying body and I'd gone to the 4th dimension, or astral realms as we call it, in that case the section directly associated with the region my body was in in the 3rd dimension.
It wasn't my time to cross over yet, life would, in the fullness of time change, awakening would come and I would at last be in a position to assist others with the many struggles we face in this mortal existence.

I clearly remember though, that it didn't happen until some very deep part of me surrendered, in this silent terrifying way, something I was almost hiding from my self, the left hand didn't know what the right hand was doing.
That was the beginning of Surrender, there would be much more of it to come along the Path.

NDE er your life has served Purpose, and there IS more to come, the reason your returned maybe something you couldn't or can't figure out but from the Other Side with full knowledge you will see was deeply important and profound. Down here we have blinders and ear muffs on, by design, as we play out a great impromptu script with little knowledge that it is happening. It is with hindsight that we understand why things happened as they did most often.

I don't have good advice for you, but I remember well feeling as you are feeling now and feeling that for 2 decades.... the seeming pointlessness of it all, the almost cruelness of persistent existence.
All I can offer you is that this too can change and our perspective be alter 180 degrees in the flash of a moment.

Your story is most profound and moving, CrystalSong.....wow.
It's interesting when you said this..." and I'd gone to the 4th dimension, or astral realms as we call it, in that case the section directly associated with the region my body was in in the 3rd dimension."
I live in a very rural environment, and on occasion have gone out of body. Then even on what is known as the 'lower levels' of the astral ("Real Time Zone"), I had only encountered animals/insects etc. No people. So I concluded that because there WERE no people in that environment (in 3D) I was encountering only astral Beings -maybe even the deceased? -of those who did live in my immediate location?

[CrystalSong]

Your presumption would be the same as mine Tobi.

If we raise of frequency to match a higher dimension then we can perceive it right where we are at.
It appears though that once we can move our consciousness we can travel outside our local region equivalent in other dimensions, which gets much more interesting.
So the combination of raising one's frequency and learning to navigate or project via Intention is how we move out of the local area of the 3D body and the dimensional equivalents of it in higher dimensions.

If you see 'wormholes', 'blackholes' or 'tunnels' when you meditate go into them, do so with the intention of where you want to come out at. ie "Achashic records- past life relevant to this lifetime", "early Atlantis", Inner Earth - current civilization", "Dark side of the moon", "Original Star cluster I'm from", "View Sissy Last Empress of the Strasburg Empire", "Mozart composing his final Requiem", "Explore the tunnels under the Great Pyramid", "Madam Curry discovering Penicillin", "Follow the Voyager on it's course", "Space Station", "Future 25 years from now this location", "Meet a Higher Being with useful advice", "See where the Ancient Sumaritans are now", "... whatever you desire to see, state it in your mind, then release all expectations and allow your self to land there.

Keep just enough of the Observer engaged that you can remember where you landed and what happens when there. It can be tricky because we have to go very deep to reach the point to navigate Wormholes successfully and have enough subtle energy fuel onboard to make the trip (knowing how to channel cosmic energy is most helpful and easy if you are a Energy Worker or Healer)
Enthusiasm for the subject helps the signal to come in clearer, so pick things you are very curious about or passionate about, you'll get more details and have a longer stay when you land.
You'll need to match your energy field to much higher frequency's to get to the Angelic Realms, on Spaceships, and change verse's and a few other things.
The most enjoyable places I've found was in the Achachic Records and things between the 5th and 10th dimensions. The 4th Dimension isn't very interesting and has risks of astral attachments as it seems to still be something of a duality construct and so you get Hoodlum type beings occasionally. Anything over the 10th get so light saturated it's hard to see any detail and really discerning gets hard for me over the 8th.
Other verses are awesome but very inexplicable as they don't operate on the same physics, so it's while it's pretty and very psychedelic, you have no idea what you are looking at and no reference frame to compare it to in order to understand even the most basic things.
Sorry, I'm rambling.....