Strange things have happened to me for a while

[ReVarre]

I'm not really used to the whole culture with mediumship, but I've realized that there might be a pretty high chance/risk that I am psychic, and yeah, it still feels kinda weird to admit that since I am not that kind of guy. Anyway.

I've now read up on creating shields, and grounding. Funny thing is that I've been grounding before guided by my intution or something else, maybe spirits, maybe angels. I've seen ascended masters perhaps, I'm a bit skeptical still, and I've met a higher-vibrating version of past encounters of people that were mean to me as a child who showed me another way of looking at those experiences which made me be able to leave and forgive that I experienced that. I am still not convinced that it is real. But I'm at least starting to at least consider it might be.

So I am seeing like a transparent shield around my body, seen this for a while, sometimes I see something shaped like a transparent small ball of some sorts, creating the shape of a cup in front of me. If I focus on it, it comes closer, it seem to penetrate my shielding. Sometimes I can feel something stabbing me, or feeling a choking sensation on my throat (it doesn't hurt, it might be a manifestation of fear, and expectations arise which I am aware of, not identified with, but a man can only take that much annoyances before getting mad at the disrespecting nature of these forces).

I do not try to fight back at it too much, I just more or less try to push it out of my experiences, tho I can get pretty angry, which probably anyone would be if they felt they were being assaulted. Anyway.

What do I do when these things arise? Stop focusing on it? It seems to work, but it always finds me sooner or later, or maybe I detect it, and then it gains momentum by focusing on a negative sensation.

Oh and I've seen, even felt spiritual energies of a higher frequency. I think I've seen demonic entities, but it seems they are not demons if you change your relationship with them. Actually I don't know if I need any help at all, just that it would be nice if someone could confirm what it is I'm experiencing.

Seen small cloud-shaped blobs too when I'm outside, they are gray or purple-colored. They often come towards me, but they feel neutral. Maybe it's some form of nature-oriented conciousness.

Some of these entities are talking to me, some even trick me into believing I am them, but I always clear out the confusion afterwards. The fear is sometimes I'm being brainwashed, since I have no recollection of the encounter afterwards. But if I don't remember the experience I guess it can't affect my thinking more than creating uncertainty and confusion.

Someone, help me get some clarifaction and outer perspective on these strange phenomena.

Thanks in advance.