I think I'm a sociopath

Sociopath- ‘a person with a personality disorder manifesting itself in extreme antisocial attitudes and behavior and a lack of conscience.’ The MayoClinic’s site calls narcissistic personality disorder ‘a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance and a deep need for admiration.’

I don't think you're being sarcastic or funny. I think you're looking for more stuff about why you're not OK as a result of the encounter w/ the ex-gay friend you began to have feelings about.

In your other posts you’ve shown that you are anything but narcissistic. Needy about relationships & having an issue w/ a reliance on porn, but what I’ve seen coming through is not an inflated sense of your own importance, but an insistence that you’re, as you’ve said ‘toxic’ w/ relationships. You come off as having very little sense of self worth. You’ve also shown a real serious dedication about repeatedly beating up on your self.

In one of your other posts you discussed a reformed gay (conservative Christian) who you befriended where the relationship ended w/ what sounded like him trying to pray the gay away, convincing you that you’re wrong. There are organized religious groups that are very accepting of gays & lesbians.

Don’t take in their negative stereotyping prejudiced views & quit BEATING YOUR SELF UP.

Originally Posted by mattie

Sociopath- ‘a person with a personality disorder manifesting itself in extreme antisocial attitudes and behavior and a lack of conscience.’ The MayoClinic’s site calls narcissistic personality disorder ‘a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance and a deep need for admiration.’

In your other posts you’ve shown that you are anything but narcissistic. Needy about relationships & having an issue w/ a reliance on porn, but what I’ve seen coming through is not an inflated sense of your own importance, but an insistence that you’re, as you’ve said ‘toxic’ w/ relationships. You come off as having very little sense of self worth. You’ve also shown a real serious dedication about beating up on your self.

In one of your other posts you discussed a reformed Christian gay who you befriended where the relationship ended w/ what sounded like him trying to pray the gay away, convincing you that you’re wrong.

Don’t live their negative views & quit BEATING YOUR SELF UP.

Listen to this Fire it is really serious stuff. Forgive yourself and see the change. There are lots of people here to help you with self forgiveness techniques.

When you judge yourself for being -insert adj.- you take the direction to become -insert adj.-. This explains why you should not judge yourself. So if you don't like what you became it was because of self-judgment. You are lost in a self-judgment loop. You judge yourself -> You do it again -> You judge yourself again -> You do it again, so on so on.

Some people see self-judgment as an heroic act. This is not the case.

3d

[andrew g]

Originally Posted by Fire7

I'm probably being more transparent than most people would ever be, but I have become increasingly concerned about myself... as I have gotten older and learned some things about human nature and psychology.

I'm not a psychologist, but from the things I have studied about behavior patterns, I seem to fit right into the sociopathic category... in reflecting back on my life and my own behavior. And I'm not being sarcastic or funny, but this is very real. My own mother once told me that I have just the personality of a psychopath. that may sound shocking to you, but she wasn't being mean and I knew why she was saying it.

I have always been a very introverted person, to the point that I didn;t even realize how I came of to people. I didn't think I was THAT quiet, but people have always asked me why I'm so quiet. To me, Ijust feel lie I have nothing to say. But it's like everyone I come in contact with asks me the same thing. And this has been throughout my whole life: I'm 29 now. I've even been asked several times, "What's wrong with you? (accompanied by a disgusted look, of course), or I will hear people whispering it to someone else, or it will get back to me somehow that people were saying I'm "weird."

I have always been one to drift off into a fantasy world of my own. There are other things that I won't go into...

I'm now reading this book on Narcissistic Personality Disorder, titled "The Wizard of Oz And Other Narcissists." And I'm only a few pages in, but I've already seen many of my own character attributes within it.

It terrified me at one point. And for a long time, I have hated myself, wondering why I had to be born this way, or what happened to me to make me this way. I honestly don't understand "What's wrong with me." But there seems to be little help for people like myself who want to be free of the narcissist within. I have looked up and down for books on the subject (because it's not like I can go to someone and tell them I think I'm a sociopath), but they always seem to be demonizing the narcissist (rightfully so) or showing people how to respond to one. It makes me wonder, is there any hope for a narcissist? Serious question. Is narcissism something I can overcome? If so, how?

You actually sound pretty normal to me hehe. Im no counsellor or expert on the subject but Im not sure an extreme narcissist would be asking the questions you are asking. You might be a bit narcissistic, but then, who isnt?!

Maybe your soul originates from a very quiet planet and you just resonate with the quiet. Or maybe you are a new soul to the planet who just hasnt quite figured out how to relate to the rabble yet. Im odd too in some ways, I just dont think about it that much anymore because Im quite happy with who I am with my oddness. Maybe we are all a bit odd in our own way.

There has been lots of good advice for you on this thread in my opinion.

If you manipulate people's emotions with an alternative motive, then yes you would be a sociopath. I understand human emotions, behavior, psychology and I'm not a sociopath. I use my knowledge to help people rather than manipulating people. It's not in my blood. Why don't you do the same as me?

Originally Posted by Fire7

I'm probably being more transparent than most people would ever be, but I have become increasingly concerned about myself... as I have gotten older and learned some things about human nature and psychology.

I'm not a psychologist, but from the things I have studied about behavior patterns, I seem to fit right into the sociopathic category... in reflecting back on my life and my own behavior. And I'm not being sarcastic or funny, but this is very real. My own mother once told me that I have just the personality of a psychopath. that may sound shocking to you, but she wasn't being mean and I knew why she was saying it.

I have always been a very introverted person, to the point that I didn;t even realize how I came of to people. I didn't think I was THAT quiet, but people have always asked me why I'm so quiet. To me, Ijust feel lie I have nothing to say. But it's like everyone I come in contact with asks me the same thing. And this has been throughout my whole life: I'm 29 now. I've even been asked several times, "What's wrong with you? (accompanied by a disgusted look, of course), or I will hear people whispering it to someone else, or it will get back to me somehow that people were saying I'm "weird."

I have always been one to drift off into a fantasy world of my own. There are other things that I won't go into...

I'm now reading this book on Narcissistic Personality Disorder, titled "The Wizard of Oz And Other Narcissists." And I'm only a few pages in, but I've already seen many of my own character attributes within it.

It terrified me at one point. And for a long time, I have hated myself, wondering why I had to be born this way, or what happened to me to make me this way. I honestly don't understand "What's wrong with me." But there seems to be little help for people like myself who want to be free of the narcissist within. I have looked up and down for books on the subject (because it's not like I can go to someone and tell them I think I'm a sociopath), but they always seem to be demonizing the narcissist (rightfully so) or showing people how to respond to one. It makes me wonder, is there any hope for a narcissist? Serious question. Is narcissism something I can overcome? If so, how?

Good (or bad news) for you.

You are not a sociopath, a sociopath always needs approval from others and would never make him/herself appear weak.

A sociopath is always right (in its belief). And never would ask people for help. and if he/she does this as a way of control.

Originally Posted by Silvergirl

It's most definitely not a crime to be a quiet person. I'm one and I know a lot of people who are. I'm OK with it, though. Maybe you're worried atm about connecting. I get that myself but it passes. Only you know why you put it out there that you feel you just might be a sociopath, and that your mother mentioned to you she thought you were, too. Those moments where she said that to you, didn't they follow some sort of confrontation about a problem? People often say out of sheer frustration at communicating about issues "You need help." I've had it said to me, I've said it to others. It doesn't necessarily hold water, it's just something said in the heat of the moment. I hope you can find your way through this issue. I've just started learning how to "EFT" and would like to suggest you check out some of Xan's threads for information and links to learn all about this technique. I hope it helps you out.

What is EFT?

and my mother said this after learning that I was hiding that I was gay. But there were some other things that happened years before that that would have given her the impression. My orientation was just the straw...

Originally Posted by Docha

Fire have you had anxiety attacks? Nervous episodes?

Trouble eating and sleeping?

Issues focusing etc?

Yes to all... although not to an extreme. I mostly have problems focussing, which is why I have also wondered if I am ADHD.

I have more trouble NOT eating

There have been nights I couldn't sleep, but I imagine everyone has those nights

I do get intense social anxiety, but have never had an anxiety attack, to my knowledge.

I am always fiddling something or biting my nails to the meat, which could point back to the ADHD.

And I used to often beat up on my lil bro and sis when I was younger

Originally Posted by Fire7

What is EFT?

and my mother said this aftr learning that I was hding that I was gay. But there were some other things that happened years before that that would have given her the impression. My orientation was just the straw...

It’s really awful that your mother said you were a sociopath after your telling her you were gay. This is her prejudice showing. She may have never known anyone who is gay or lesbian. There are countless gays & lesbians who have moved past family disapproval.

Being gay is ➙➙➙ NOT, NOT, NOT ↵↵↵ sociopathic. I don't care who says it.

EFT is a powerful energy medicine technique that combines tapping on energy meridians w/ positive affirmations.

The free information in the below link is more than sufficient.

http://www.eftuniverse.com/index.php...11&It emid=14

Originally Posted by Fire7

I'm probably being more transparent than most people would ever be, but I have become increasingly concerned about myself... as I have gotten older and learned some things about human nature and psychology.

I'm not a psychologist, but from the things I have studied about behavior patterns, I seem to fit right into the sociopathic category... in reflecting back on my life and my own behavior. And I'm not being sarcastic or funny, but this is very real. My own mother once told me that I have just the personality of a psychopath. That may sound shocking to you, but she wasn't being mean and I knew why she was saying it.

I have always been a very introverted person, to the point that I didn't even realize how I came of to people. I didn't think I was THAT quiet, but people have always asked me why I'm so quiet. To me, I just feel like I have nothing to say. But it's like everyone I come in contact with asks me the same thing. And this has been throughout my whole life: I'm 29 now. I've even been asked several times, "What's wrong with you? (accompanied by a disgusted look, of course), or I will hear people whispering it to someone else, or it will get back to me somehow that people were saying I'm "weird."

I have always been one to drift off into a fantasy world of my own. There are other things that I won't go into...

I'm now reading this book on Narcissistic Personality Disorder, titled "The Wizard of Oz And Other Narcissists." And I'm only a few pages in, but I've already seen many of my own character attributes within it.

It terrified me at one point. And for a long time, I have hated myself, wondering why I had to be born this way, or what happened to me to make me this way. I honestly don't understand "What's wrong with me." But there seems to be little help for people like myself who want to be free of the narcissist within. I have looked up and down for books on the subject (because it's not like I can go to someone and tell them I think I'm a sociopath), but they always seem to be demonizing the narcissist (rightfully so) or showing people how to respond to one. It makes me wonder, is there any hope for a narcissist? Serious question. Is narcissism something I can overcome? If so, how?

I think you need to back away from the DSM!

Seriously, if you want to apply labels in your understanding of your self, try Keirsey's Please Understand Me II instead. Labeling oneself from the DSM (sociopath, narcissist, sexual addict) is damaging. Be kinder to yourself. You are like all humans -- complicated but beautiful in your complexity.

It's okay to be different. You didn't come from a cookie cutter mold; none of us did. The very fact you are even *asking* these questions tells me that deep down there is a caring, sensitive soul.

Yes, sociopaths do exist, but they do not ask these questions. They just don't.

[Silver]

It's Emotional Freedom Technique. Anyone can google it, there's youtube vids on it, also. Look up Xan's threads, she has some info there.