"It doesn't matter"

[LadyMay]

My most important lesson at the moment regarding my twin is when I wonder what he's doing or thinking/feeling, especially in regards to me. Then I have my old insecurity issues come back and make me think 'ack, shouldn't do this/that, it'll make him mad'.. I just have to keep telling myself "it doesn't matter". What does it really matter what him or anyone else thinks? It's just leading me away from my own center and strength. I can't allow myself to lose that.. and staying in the present moment has really become top priority. It's really pushing me to be fully aware and instead of letting my stories play out.. just dismissing them as they arise instead and letting them dissolve. It's quite challenging.. but also very strengthening. So to anyone who is obsessed with what their twin is doing/thinking/feeling.. what does it matter? It doesn't. Stay focused on you and the present moment.

[Emm]

Yes I can relate to this, I even go a step further and think I'm responsible for how he's feeling even though we are apart...how egoic is that? It was a relief when I could finally let go of that habitual way of thinking and stay centered just as you say.

I think this pattern of thought stemmed from what we are told by the "experts" that we are connected in every way including telepathically. Somehow I began to feel guilty about everything I did that might get in the way of reunion. It was really an unhealthy attitude that impeded my growth. Non of us are perfect and its not an issue to be perfect. Perfections come with conditions and this love is meant to be unconditional after all.

Knowing that and that alone, helps. I dont have to be perfect and neither does he. I loved him first, without judgement, and saw him as perfect. Its just our human condition living in a dualistic world that has me judging what conditions I find unapplealing, my mind making judgements of what I like and dislike according to my own belief systems...where before my mind got too involved there was just love.

So I find that if I stay centered, I find the real me, my higher self...I can feel the energy that surrounds me, I can feel the love again and I can let go of everything else. And this is also when I feel connected to him, its a sense of being one.

I find its necessary to be constantly alert, to always be mindful of the present in response to how I react within at any given moment, and it isnt easy, otherwise that stillness, that connection to a higher knowing is gone.

[LadyMay]

Originally Posted by Emm

Yes I can relate to this, I even go a step further and think I'm responsible for how he's feeling even though we are apart...how egoic is that?

It really is egoic. That's really all obsession with their thought/feelings/actions is, a feeling of responsibility for them which serves as an escape from our own responsibility to ourselves.

I think this pattern of thought stemmed from what we are told by the "experts" that we are connected in every way including telepathically. Somehow I began to feel guilty about everything I did that might get in the way of reunion. It was really an unhealthy attitude that impeded my growth. Non of us are perfect and its not an issue to be perfect. Perfections come with conditions and this love is meant to be unconditional after all.

Knowing that and that alone, helps. I dont have to be perfect and neither does he. I loved him first, without judgement, and saw him as perfect. Its just our human condition living in a dualistic world that has me judging what conditions I find unapplealing, my mind making judgements of what I like and dislike according to my own belief systems...where before my mind got too involved there was just love.

So I find that if I stay centered, I find the real me, my higher self...I can feel the energy that surrounds me, I can feel the love again and I can let go of everything else. And this is also when I feel connected to him, its a sense of being one.

I find its necessary to be constantly alert, to always be mindful of the present in response to how I react within at any given moment, and it isnt easy, otherwise that stillness, that connection to a higher knowing is gone.

I agree.. it's hard to have such a connection and not think about how it affects them on their end.. but unconditional love is all about seeing the imperfect and then accepting it as perfect and that can't really be done if you're constantly worrying about them. Because you're just seeing your own imperfections reflected back and judging it, instead of seeing them for who they really are.

I agree, it helps a lot. Sometimes I have my moments where I just wonder what's the right thing to do but then I let it go when I remember that it doesn't really matter. It really doesn't.. there's nothing that we can do wrong. Everything is perfectly perfect exactly the way it is. I accept my own idiosyncrasies and that's okay.. no one else can do that for me. So I see myself as perfect and I see him as perfect and I see everyone and everything else as perfect.

So yeah.. it's just about staying in that still zone really, staying constantly mindful and alert and just living in total and utter acceptance and surrender to love.. letting my mind take a step back and "this is also when I feel connected to him, its a sense of being one" <-- this so much! I feel that most keenly when I stay centered in myself.. it's amusing in one sense. It's pretty easy.. but so hard. And very rewarding

[Emm]

Originally Posted by ScarlettHayden

I agree, it helps a lot. Sometimes I have my moments where I just wonder what's the right thing to do but then I let it go when I remember that it doesn't really matter. It really doesn't.. there's nothing that we can do wrong. Everything is perfectly perfect exactly the way it is. I accept my own idiosyncrasies and that's okay.. no one else can do that for me. So I see myself as perfect and I see him as perfect and I see everyone and everything else as perfect.

You're right, all paths lead to the same destination in the end, there really isnt anything to worry about. Unfortunately though the ego takes some quieting, the stronger the ego the more we need to suffer until it gets the message. I for one dont like suffering so im left with no other option but to stay still and centered....I do tend to wriggle a little though, cant be helped I've had a lifetime of running :-D

Originally Posted by ScarlettHayden

So to anyone who is obsessed with what their twin is doing/thinking/feeling.. what does it matter? It doesn't. Stay focused on you and the present moment.

For me, I have gotten pretty decent at blocking myself from going down the path of exploring him in the physical world (in my head, at least) whether it be memories, wondering about him and his day to day goings about, wondering how he feels about me and if he'll ever talk to me again, and even blocking his love connection with me. But his energy still visits me and pulls me in from time to time. Everyday plays out if I am a grown healthy adult capable of handling loss, rejection, and even emotional trauma or am I [strong opposite] of that, an emotional wreck. It's my life to decide and everyday I have to push myself to walk the line.

I can do this, I'm doing it, am I just faking it.

[LadyMay]

Originally Posted by NeedPeopleWhoUnderstand

For me, I have gotten pretty decent at blocking myself from going down the path of exploring him in the physical world (in my head, at least) whether it be memories, wondering about him and his day to day goings about, wondering how he feels about me and if he'll ever talk to me again, and even blocking his love connection with me. But his energy still visits me and pulls me in from time to time. Everyday plays out if I am a grown healthy adult capable of handling loss, rejection, and even emotional trauma or am I [strong opposite] of that, an emotional wreck. It's my life to decide and everyday I have to push myself to walk the line.

I can do this, I'm doing it, am I just faking it.

The energy is hardest thing about all this. If it wasn't for the energy trying to drag me to merge with him constantly, forgetting about him would probably have been much easier. I tried hard to ignore it but.. it was driving me insane and in the end I figured acceptance would be the only thing that would quieten it but.. I'm not really sure that's been the case, lol. It just seems to have strengthened my resolve to stay with him and stay separate at the same time.. so that I get even any semblance of peace To say it is difficult is an understatement.

Whatever happens I know I can deal with it and stay true to myself.. and I think for me the worst of the pain is over now. But I do wonder sometimes.. if this is just a little too easy and whether I'll have to go through more fire down the line. But I suppose I'll cross that bridge if I get there.

[kerrielle]

Sometimes I sing "Nothing really matters" to myself to stop the digging in to places where I do not belong. It helps me let go.

I think faith is the key to all of this. We need to have faith in all things, esp in our own ability to thrive in all conditions. We need to just feed faith with lots and lots of non-judgmental, unconditional loving.

And yeah we will come across potholes in the road. It's part of a journey. The universe often tests us after we have made headway, to see if we really got that lesson. Again... when that happens... it just is and will be ok. :) We keep learning. :)

[LadyMay]

Originally Posted by kerrielle

Sometimes I sing "Nothing really matters" to myself to stop the digging in to places where I do not belong. It helps me let go.

I love the way you've written this, yes, exactly. It's to stop me digging in places which would just end up hurting me. The problem I'm having right now is discerning between the subtleties of detachment and non-attachment. With letting your story play out you maintain non-attachment and it's fairly easy. But by forcing yourself into the present moment you don't really have that luxury of 'feeling' release. You have to stay centered and let things dissolve around you. I'm just trying hard not to let that fall into detachment. Because once I do that I have a repression problem.. it seems like a fine line I'm having trouble navigating right now.

Saying "it doesn't matter" can be equally a faulty defense as a genuine dismissal. And here is where faith and unconditional love for self really comes in handy.. because once I remember that I remember it really doesn't matter