Really, what the heck is a twin flame?

[Sarian]

I'm really tired of this. Have you ever noticed that this forum gets the most visitors? This and the love & relationship forum?

I've asked on other threads, what is the purpose of a twin flame? Really, what is the purpose of it? Who coined the term...is it a made up thing? Is it really real? I am in the most bizarre relationship of my life. I was married to a man who was abusive in everyway, but I can oddly enough make sense of it. He had issues and I didn't want to be married to him. He is a narcissist. But how do I explain and understand this other relationship that is killing me more than the abusive one? Somebody please explain this. I'm at my wit's end. I want to walk away so badly, and yet I can't. Every cell in my body resists. I DON'T GET IT. someone explain this.

WHAT IS THE PURPOSE? I went online last night and googled the term, but I find hokey websites and the explanations just do not make sense. One soul split apart into two bodies...ying/yang type thing... usually an age difference...they met on their first incarnate ..whatever, and when they finally do come together, it's wonderful and it will be the last because now the soul is one. Makes NO sense to me, then is everyone a half a soul and in some lifetime they will find this wonderous marvelous twin flame? Glory halleluja. IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE. And they say twin flames are rare..if so, why is the board full of people claiming to have met their tf and why is everyone so miserable....? Well, these websites explain that too...if it's too soon, it's going to be a horrible mess of heartache and chaos.. Got an answer to everything. I'm beginning to think it's a mental illness.

I'm really so, so, so sick of this.

Can someone here please explain this **. And tell me if this stuff is real, how -snip- can I cut the cord, burn it, stomp on it, bury it... enough already.



Edited by SF Staff

[mystical]

read this it may help ......

Karmic relations
In this context I would like to say something about karmic relationships. By this I mean relationships between people who have known each other in other lifetimes and who have experienced intense emotions with regard to each other. The hallmark of a karmic relationship is that the partners carry unresolved emotions within such as guilt, fear, dependence, jealousy, anger or something of the kind. Because of this unresolved emotional charge, they feel drawn to each other in another incarnation. The aim of the renewed encounter is to provide an opportunity to resolve the issue at hand. This happens by recreating the same issue in a short period of time. When they first meet, the karmic “players” feel a compelling urge to get nearer to each other and after some time they start to repeat their old emotional role patterns. The stage has now been set to face the old issue anew and perhaps handle it in a more enlightened way. The spiritual purpose of the renewed encounter is for both partners to make other choices than they made during that former lifetime.
I am going to give an example here. Imagine a woman who, in a previous lifetime, had a husband who was quite possessive and bossy. For a while she accepted this but at a certain point she decided it was enough and she broke off the relationship. Afterwards the husband committed suicide. The woman felt remorse. She believed that she was guilty. Shouldn’t she have given him another chance? She carried this sense of guilt with her for the rest of her life.
In another lifetime they meet again. There is an odd attraction between them. At first, the man is exceptionally charming and she is the center of his attention. He adores her. They enter into a relationship. But from now on he becomes increasingly jealous and possessive. He suspects her of adultery. She finds herself in an inner struggle. She is angry and upset that he wrongly accuses her but she also feels a strange obligation to be forgiving and to give him another chance. He is a wounded man, she thinks; he cannot help it that he has this fear of being abandoned. Maybe I can help him get over this. She justifies her behavior in this way but in fact she allows her personal boundaries to be violated. The relationship negatively affects her self esteem.
The most liberating choice for the woman would now be to break off the relationship and go her own way without feelings of guilt. The pain and fear of the husband are not her responsibility. His pain and her sense of guilt have led to a destructive relationship. Their relationship was already emotionally charged because of another lifetime. The meaning of the renewed encounter is that the woman must learn to let things go without feelings of guilt and that the man must learn to stand on his own feet emotionally. So the only real solution is to break off the relationship. The solution for the woman’s karma is to let go of her sense of guilt once and for all. The mistake she made in her former lifetime was not that she abandoned her husband but that she felt responsible for his suicide. The departure of his wife in this lifetime would confront the husband again with his own pain and fear and it would offer him a new opportunity to face these emotions instead of escaping them.
You may recognize a karmic encounter by the fact that the other person immediately feels strangely familiar to you. Quite often there also is a mutual attraction, something compelling in the air which urges you to be together and to discover each other. If the opportunity is available, this strong attraction may grow into a love relationship or a heavy infatuation. The emotions you experience may be so overwhelming that you think you have met your twin soul. However things are not as they seem. In such a relationship there will always be problems which sooner or later will surface. Often the partners become involved in a psychological conflict that has power, control and dependence as the main ingredients. By this they repeat a tragedy which they subconsciously recognize from a former lifetime. In a past life they could have been lovers, parent and child, boss and subordinate, or some another type of relationship. But always they touched a deep inner pain in each other by acts of unfaithfulness, abuse of power or, by contrast, too strong an affection. There was a profound encounter between them which caused deep scars and emotional trauma. That is why the forces of attraction as well as repulsion can be so violent when they meet again in a new incarnation.
The spiritual invitation to all souls who are energetically entangled in such a way is let each other go and become “entities-unto-themselves,” free and independent. Karmic relationships as mentioned here are almost never long-term, stable, loving relationships. They are destructive rather than healing relationships. Quite often the basic purpose of the encounter is to succeed in letting each other go. This is something that could not be done in one or more past lifetimes but now there is another opportunity to release each other in love.
If you find yourself in a relationship that is characterized by intense emotions, that evokes a lot of pain and grief but from which you cannot break free, please realize that nothing obligates you to stay with the other person. Also do realize that intense emotions more often refer to deep pain rather than to mutual love. The energy of love is essentially calm and peaceful, light-hearted and inspiring. It is not heavy, exhausting and tragic. If a relationship gets these traits, it is time to let it go rather than “work on it” once again.
Sometimes you convince yourselves that you have to stay together because you “share karma” and you have “to work things out together.” You call upon the nature of karma as an argument for prolonging the relationship, while you are both suffering immensely. In fact you are distorting the concept of karma here. You do not work out karma together; karma is an individual thing. The karma at stake in such relationships as mentioned before often requires that you let go completely, that you withdraw from such a relationship in order to experience that you are whole unto yourself. Again, resolving karma is something you do on your own. Another person may touch or trigger something inside you that creates a lot of drama between you. But it remains your sole task and challenge to deal with your own inner hurt, not with the other person’s issues. You only have responsibility for yourself.
This is important to realize because it is one of the main pitfalls in relationships. You are not responsible for your mate and your mate is not responsible for you. The solution to your problems does not lie in the behavior of the other person. Sometimes you are so connected to the inner child of your partner, the emotionally hurt part inside, that you feel you are the one to “rescue” it. Or your partner may be trying the same with you. But this is not going to work. You will be reinforcing emotions of powerlessness and victimhood in the other person, whereas it would be more helpful ultimately if you drew the line and stood up for yourself. It is your destination to be able to feel whole and complete, entirely on your own. That is the most important condition for a truly fulfilling relationship.

Healing relationships
There are healing and there are destructive relationships. A characteristic of healing relationships is that the partners respect each other as they are, without trying to change each other. They take much pleasure in each other’s company but they do not feel uneasy, desperate or lonely if the other person is not around. In this kind of relationship you offer understanding, support and encouragement to your loved one without trying to solve their problems. There is freedom and peace in the relationship. Of course there may be misunderstandings now and then, but the emotions they bring up are short-lived. Both partners are prepared to forgive. There is a heart connection between them as a result of which they will not take the other person’s emotions or mistakes personally. Because it does not trigger a deeper layer of pain, they do not attach so much importance to it. Emotionally both partners are independent. They draw their strength and well-being not from the approval or the presence of their mate. He or she does not fill a gap in their lives but adds something new and vital.
In a healing relationship partners may also know each other from one or more past lifetimes. But in these cases there is hardly ever an emotional karmic burden as described above. The two souls may have known each other in a past life in a way that was essentially encouraging and supporting. As friends, partners or as parent and child, they have recognized each other as soul mates. This creates an indissoluble bond throughout several lives.
I will give another example. A young man grows up in a poor family somewhere in the Middle Ages. He is gentle and sensitive by nature and he does not fit in very well with his surroundings. His family consists of hard working, rather rough people who think little of his dreamy, unpractical nature. When he is grown up, he enters a monastery. He is not really happy here either, for life is tightly regulated and there is little human warmth or companionship among the people living there. There is however one man who is a bit different. It is a priest who has a higher rank but who has no air of authority and who is truly interested in him. Now and then he inquires how things are going and he allots him a few pleasant jobs like gardening. Each time they look at each other there is a sense of recognition, something like-minded between them. There is a silent connection from the heart. Although they do not meet very often or speak much, the priest is a source of hope and encouragement for the young man.
In a following lifetime this man is a woman. Once again she has a gentle and dreamy nature. She has difficulties standing up for herself. When she is an adult she gets bogged down in a marriage with a man who is authoritarian and bossy. At first she fell for his distinct, powerful charisma but later on she realizes how his dominance restricts and oppresses her. Nevertheless she finds it very difficult to set herself free from him. At her work she sometimes mentions the subject to a colleague, a somewhat older man. He encourages her to stand up for herself and to stay true to her own needs. Each time she speaks with him she intuitively knows that he is right. Then after a great deal of inner conflict she divorces her husband. The contact with her colleague changes now. She feels affection for him. He turns out to be single. She feels so much at ease with him that it seems as if they have known each other for ages. They start a relationship which is affectionate, relaxed and encouraging for both of them. The sympathy which was flowing between them in a former lifetime now takes shape as a fulfilling relationship as husband and wife.
This is a healing relationship. The woman has taken an essential decision in leaving her husband and choosing for herself. With this she has affirmed her emotional independence. This has created the basis for a loving, well-balanced relationship with a congenial soul.

Twin souls
At this point I would like to say something about the concept of twin souls, probably familiar to all of you. The idea of twin souls exerts a deep attraction for you. However it is potentially quite dangerous, because it can be interpreted in such a way that it reinforces the birthing pain and emotional dependence in each of you, rather than resolving it. This happens when you conceive of the concept of twin souls in such a way that there is another person who perfectly suits you and makes you whole. This is the concept of the twin soul as your other half. You then assume that the oneness and safety you are missing so deeply will be found in someone else who is the perfect match for you.
According to this immature notion of twin souls, the souls are considered to be two halves who together make up a unity. Usually the two halves are respectively male and female. So this notion not only suggests that you are incomplete unto yourself but also that you are essentially male or female. You can probably see that this notion of twin souls is not healthy or healing from a spiritual point of view. It makes you dependent on something outside of you. It denies the divine origin which implies that you are everything, male and female, and that you are whole and complete unto yourself. It creates all kinds of illusions which bring you far away from home. And by “home” I mean your own self, the divinity of your “I-ness.” No soul is meant to be someone else’s other half.
Twin souls do exist and they literally are what the word implies: they are twins. They are souls with the same “feeling tone” or vibration, or you could say with the same birthing time, as is the case with biological twins. The particular time of birth, this unique moment in time and place, makes for a uniquely charged feeling tone inside the souls that come to life. They are not dependent upon each other in any way. They are neither male nor female. But they are certainly tuned into each other as kindred spirits.
What is the reason for the creation of twin souls? Why do they exist? You often think that the raison d’être for something is the learning process it effects. But this is not the case with twin souls. The reason for the existence of twin souls is not to learn something. The aim is simply joy and creativity. Twin souls have no function within duality. You will meet your twin soul when you are transcending duality, when you identify yourself again with the God inside yourself who is whole and undivided and who is able to take any form or appearance. Twin souls meet again on their journey back home.
Let us go back for a moment to the beginning of the journey. The moment you leave the state of oneness and become an individual, you enter duality. Suddenly there is dark and light, great and small, sick and healthy, etc. Reality is split. You have no frame of reference anymore for who you really are. At first you took your identity from “being-part-of-a-whole.” Now you are a single part torn loose from the whole. But without your conscious knowing, someone accompanies you who is equal to you, who resembles you as closely as anything could. You took up “the same space” in the blanket of oneness, so near to each other that you didn’t know you were two until you were born. What connects the two of you is something beyond duality, something that antedates the history of duality. This is hard to put into words properly, because it defies your usual definitions of identity in which you are either one or two and cannot be both at the same time.
Now you were both setting out on a journey, a long journey throughout many experiences. Both of you have experienced the extremes of duality, to discover gradually that your essence does not lie in duality but outside of it, in something which underlies it. As soon as you become deeply aware of this underlying oneness, your journey back begins. Little by little you feel less attached to external things such as power, fame, money or prestige. You understand more and more that the key is not what you experience but how you experience it. You create your own happiness or misery by your state of awareness. You are discovering the power of your own consciousness.
Once you have gone through all the highs and lows of duality there will be a moment when you meet your twin soul. In the energy and appearance of your twin soul, you will recognize a very deep part of yourself, your essence beyond duality, and by this very recognition you will start to understand yourself better and become aware of who you really are. Your twin is a frame of reference for you that carries you outside of the limited beliefs about yourself that you took in during your life and lifetimes before. You liberate yourself by seeing this reflection of you in your twin; it is like a reminder and it has nothing to do with emotional dependence. Meeting each other helps each of you to be stronger and more self-aware individuals, expressing your creativity and love on earth. It accelerates your return journey as it helps you step up to a higher level of oneness while fully retaining and expressing your I-ness, your unique individuality.
Ultimately we are all one. We are supported by an energy which is universal in all of us. But at the same time there is individuality in all of us. The twin soul is to some extent the link between individuality and oneness. It is like a stepping stone to oneness. If you connect with your twin soul consciously and materially, you will bring about the creation of something new: a third energy that is born out of their combined action. That energy always helps to enhance unity awareness on a larger scale than just the two of them. Because they are on their way Home, twin souls feel inspired to anchor the energies of love and oneness on earth and they do so in a way that accords with their own unique talents and skills. In this manner the twin soul love builds a stepping stone between “being one” and “being One.”
There is a deep inner bond between twin souls but that does not alter the fact that they are complete unities unto themselves. Their joining together brings about love and joy and their meeting enhances creativity and self-realization. They support each other without falling into the pitfalls of emotional dependence or addiction. The love between twin souls is not meant to make each other whole, but to create something new: instead of the two becoming one, the two shall become three.



(c) pamela kribbe

[mystical]

i do understand your frustration , there are so many answers out there but we cnat look to outside sources for all the answers we need , the answers are within , we can take little bits from , every book religion friend etc more and more twins and soul connections are meeting up this is due to the new age of aquarius , all i can say is this is one topic that gets everyone thinking and expressing and learning to open up becaus ein life what is there really but love? love is somehting we all seek , love is all there is , so its natural that people want to talk about it because its what they feel and what they know its all know for sure that really exists , please dont berate people for expressing how they feel :( this is what causes half the problems with people in this world as it is , people being mocked or ridiculed for what they are feeling and it is the most natural thing in the world , yet people become cut off from their hearts and their souls because we think just because we love sumone that maybe ? we have a mental illness , society moulds us , liek relationships , we meet flal in love and after the honeymoon period it dwindles , people assume that is normal , but is it? is it really ? this is why so many people are unfulfilled , why so many people feel rejected ,neglected , because everyone seacrhes for that love just like they did when they first met, its this we have to keep alive , yet we make excuses , im too tired cos of work or the kids , or people begin to come in between you , we stop showing and expressing that love within , but end of the day it comes down to you , if you are unfilffilled then its because you are seeking something from external sources instead of within xx

[Sarian]

Thanks Mystical. I think I read some of what you have posted from one of the websites I was viewing. Now to find a way to just end the relationship. It just doesn't seem right, but I can so relate to the Karmic Relationships, but others as well. The good is fantastic, the bad is torment. And yet I still see a very good future, it never leaves. Is that just wishful thinking? That's what destroys me. I can't shake the visions I see ahead. Where do they come from and why? Are they bogus?

Originally Posted by Sarian

why is the board full of people claiming to have met their tf and why is everyone so miserable....? [snip..] I'm beginning to think it's a mental illness.

So you noticed too? I suspect you will get a lot of people agreeing with your assessment.

I think the wheel is turning, the affliction has reached its zenith. People are beginning to protest, even the believers are becoming disillusioned and cry out to be released from their self-inflicted pain.

[Sarian]

Pre-dawn, I am so over with the TF stuff. Seriously. I thought it was odd when I first heard about it here, then somewhat curious as to the things I read by some..but now...I see nothing good or really even real about it.

I didn't know about TF until coming here, but the pain was there, that I deal with...and the good is great, but there's a lot of heartache... If I am causing this pain myself, I sure wish I knew how to stop. I'm feeling pretty distraught at the moment. :-(

The population of the world reached 7billion people a few months ago yet only a dozen or so people even post on these forums and if you even include the ones that view these posts that don't post you'd still realize that yes our experience is rare. NOBODY I know in my daily life had met a TF and anyone I discuss this with looks at me like I'm crazy. Yet most if not all of us posting her have an uncanny simliarity in our experience. Does it really matter if we're from one soul that split in half, ect ect? All that really matters is what were going through and our desire to regain some peace in our lives. I think by sharing our experiences here it gives HOPE and PEACE to others that they aren't alone in what they are going through nor are they crazy. It also gives people a peak at the future when you hear from people that have been dealing with this struggle for DECADES while some of us are just beginning that journey.

Maybe hearing that the feelings WON'T go away and NEVER will can save some people the trouble down the road when they expect those feelings to fade only to realize they didnt'. Maybe it will give some of us pause before we end up getting married and having children only to realize that we just created more difficulty in our life in regards to being able to truly be available to pursue our true love later on in life. I know in my case if I HAD known about this connection prior to my engagment instead of the week of my wedding that I'd have taken a much harder look at pursuing a relationship with my TF before I got engaged and began putting up further obsticles to us ever reuniting again.

[Sarian]

But Beautiful Life, I understand that...but did you read what Mystical posted? Did you read Karmic Relationships? Does that not sound like what we are dealing with? It's pure hell. It hurt me to read it, it ripped my heart out because in my heart of hearts, I see that wonderful life with the man...I truly do, but with all the chaos and madness we are going through and listening to his fears, I'm terrified that if I stay with him, it will be a horrible mess, not a beautiful life (sorry, wasn't referring to your name, but I do see us as having a beautiful life) now I'm scared out of my mind. I don't want to keep going in this relationship if it's only going to be horrible and destructive, would you?

I've never experienced this before and I want out of it, but yet I can't because of what I believe and I'm afraid to keep believing.

Originally Posted by Sarian

But Beautiful Life, I understand that...but did you read what Mystical posted? Did you read Karmic Relationships? Does that not sound like what we are dealing with? It's pure hell. It hurt me to read it, it ripped my heart out because in my heart of hearts, I see that wonderful life with the man...I truly do, but with all the chaos and madness we are going through and listening to his fears, I'm terrified that if I stay with him, it will be a horrible mess, not a beautiful life (sorry, wasn't referring to your name, but I do see us as having a beautiful life) now I'm scared out of my mind. I don't want to keep going in this relationship if it's only going to be horrible and destructive, would you?

I've never experienced this before and I want out of it, but yet I can't because of what I believe and I'm afraid to keep believing.

yes and your relationship sounds very much like a karmic soul that was brought into your life to teach you a lesson. For someone to stay in an abusive relationship is not healthy. It shows you lack self-love and would rather be 1/2 loved in an abusive relationship than to not feel any love and be alone since you don't love your self. Some love > no love type thing.

TF relationships I see as being very similar due to the pain of the experience however with my TF I feel the exact same frequency of our souls while with those karmic souls I've experienced I don't feel the exact same frequency nor the pull. They enter my life and when they are gone the pull is instantly gone. With my TF the pull only increases as I move further aways from her by trying to live a life without her in it. Birds of a feather flock together and a soul that has your same frquency or close to it will be attacted to you like a magnet and vice versa. I like the concept that a TF isn't the same soul split in half but a soul with the same frequecy whic allows us to better understand ourself. Like how a mirror shows you what you look like which you'd never know if you never saw your relection so it provides a means to better understand yourself.

I also think that those that meet their twin soul or a soul with the same or very similar frequency that have the most difficulty and struggle in their life is due to a lack of self identify and self love. When you don't love yourself and find someone that is exactly like you that loves you it gives you the validation that you are unable or unwilling to give yourself. I think that is why the lesson isn't really to be with this other soul but to learn to love yourself since by doing so you'll be giving yourself what you seek by this other person.