Confusion because of spiritual books

[Squatchit]

Hello The Gentleman (what a lovely username)

Firstly, welcome to SF.

My advice would be to disregard all other's opinions (I don't mean in this thread, I mean in books) and look within. Spend time being quiet on your own and listen to your inner voice. Get used to the quietness of your presence and over time you will hear your very own guidance. It takes practise until you are able to discern the mind-chatter from guidance, but it's worth the effort.

You might want to have a look through the meditation section for some helpful techniques. Then try one that appeals to you.

Squatch

Originally Posted by The Gentleman

Hello beloved Community,

I think I'm in a trouble which many spiritual seekers have experienced.
In former times I had a very big ego. Then I had a depressive episode in my life so I searched for help.
I found that help in spirituality and spiritual books. I started off with Eckhart Tolle and some Zen Books. Then I discovered Osho and read at least 20 books of him.

I quit reading spiritual books half a year ago because I noticed that they brought more confusion than help in my life.

I'm always in a mental fight. I think the things that I'm doing are too egoistic and I shouldn't do them. I'm always thinking about "acting right". Especially Osho talked a lot about how one should behave and I always think I should follow his guidance and should be egoless. Unfortunately life isn't great fun when you live like this.

Had any of you similar experiences and what advise would you give someone who treats spirituality like me?

Thanks a lot, community!

Walk your own Path. Take what resonates with you as your own and leave the rest behind as it doesn't belong to you. Forget right and wrong for they are but judgements and what other people will use to bend you to their will. Use your discernment.

And you can't walk away from yourself. As Spiritual as any of us would like to think we are we still inhabit this bag of water. However much progress you tell yourself you are making, you still came from a place you once were and you will always have some vestige of that inside you.

When you say you had a ‘big ego’ it seems you are saying that you had an imbalanced ego. Being egotistical is often equated w/ ego even though these are 2 different things. The self (ego/individuality) is a neutral mechanism. It is only what we make of it.

Ego Is OK, Even ➥➥➥Beloved↵↵↵- http://www.spiritualforums.com/vb/sh...829#post219829

There are many books on spirituality & they often have conflicting ideas. This is to be expected. It is our responsibility to sort out what is valid for us & what isn’t. While this mix of ideas can be confusing at first, this is actually positive as it gives us the opportunity to ponder many things & explore various ideas.

We can put any new ideas we’re unsure about in a permanent Hmmm? mental file. These can be modified, discarded, or moved over to the belief category. Giving self the flexibility to modify our beliefs is very useful for as we expand & learn we find that we change our beliefs.

Egoism is ‘an ethical theory that treats self-interest as the foundation of morality.
...
The words egoism and egotism are frequently confused, as though interchangeable, but there are distinctions worth noting. ... Egotism, the more commonly used term, denotes an excessive sense of self-importance, too-frequent use of the word 'I,' and general arrogance and boastfulness. Egoism, a more subtle term, is perhaps best left to ethicists, for whom it denotes a view or theory of moral behavior in which self-interest is the root of moral conduct. An egoist, then, might devote considerable attention to introspection, but could be modest about it, whereas an egotist would have an exaggerated sense of the importance of his or her self-analysis, and would have to tell everyone.’ (computer dictionary)

Having a robust self-interest isn’t problematic as long as this doesn’t abuse or disrespect others. While service to others is valid & desirable, we can’t really be of much use to others until we have sufficient self interest to take care of self FIRST.

We are in a period of considerable paradigm change. When this happens, expect that even more conflicting ideas will be out there as new ideas begin to surface.

There are many teachers who often have something useful that isn’t available from other teachers. Therefore, it can be useful to peruse many teachers’ work. We can choose that which makes sense for us & decline that which doesn’t.

We aren’t here to be spiritually perfect automatons, but to be real people, living real lives. It is desirable to have goals about our behavior & what we want to learn, but not productive if we use these goals to keep an ongoing list of how we don’t measure up. While trying to force one’s self into a mythically perfect model we are liable to miss the numerous experiences of being in the NOW of the level we are currently inhabiting. That you are questioning something that doesn’t work for you is showing that you’re accessing your inner wisdom.

Just BE you. Celebrate the progress you’ve made. It is likely to be more than you imagine. Enjoy the journey for it is a journey of ✥✥✥ JOY ✥✥✥.

[theophilus]

Originally Posted by The Gentleman

I quit reading spiritual books half a year ago because I noticed that they brought more confusion than help in my life.

The reason for your confusion may be that you have been reading books my people who are simply giving their opinions about spirituality. The only spiritual book that you can rely on is the Bible, since it comes from God.

The Bible can be hard to understand but you can get help from others who have spent time studying it.

http://www.backtothebible.org/index.php/Bible-Studies-and-Devotions.html

http://www.backtothebible.org/index.php/Today-on-Back-to-the-Bible/Today-on-Back-to-the-Bible.html

There are also those who would say the only book you can rely on is the Bhagavad Gita. And those who would say the only one you can rely on is the Threefold Lotus Sutra.

But in reality, if a book is useful and reliable for you, then it is useful and reliable for you. If it is not useful or reliable for you, then it is not useful or reliable for you. And that can be true of any spiritual book for any person.

Greetings..

Originally Posted by theophilus

The reason for your confusion may be that you have been reading books my people who are simply giving their opinions about spirituality. The only spiritual book that you can rely on is the Bible, since it comes from God.

The Bible can be hard to understand but you can get help from others who have spent time studying it.

http://www.backtothebible.org/index.php/Bible-Studies-and-Devotions.html

http://www.backtothebible.org/index.php/Today-on-Back-to-the-Bible/Today-on-Back-to-the-Bible.html

Which "God", there are varying accounts of differing meanings..?

Be well..

[God-Like]

Originally Posted by The Gentleman

Hello beloved Community,

I think I'm in a trouble which many spiritual seekers have experienced.
In former times I had a very big ego. Then I had a depressive episode in my life so I searched for help.
I found that help in spirituality and spiritual books. I started off with Eckhart Tolle and some Zen Books. Then I discovered Osho and read at least 20 books of him.

I quit reading spiritual books half a year ago because I noticed that they brought more confusion than help in my life.

I'm always in a mental fight. I think the things that I'm doing are too egoistic and I shouldn't do them. I'm always thinking about "acting right". Especially Osho talked a lot about how one should behave and I always think I should follow his guidance and should be egoless. Unfortunately life isn't great fun when you live like this.

Had any of you similar experiences and what advise would you give someone who treats spirituality like me?

Thanks a lot, community!

Hi Gentlemen .

I think one of the great masters said put this book down If your reading It and find It all out for yourself . . lol . (he still continued to write books though lol .) but the contradiction made had great meaning behind It .

You have to find your own path so to speak and you cannot live someone elses realization for them . . The journey made up until the realization Is most Important and that journey contains getting to know you .

No book can get you to know you .


x dazzle x

Thanks for your lovely replies. I am very glad to be a part of this inspiring community now.

In recent times I began to like the idea that ego is treated too bad by some people in the spiritual community.
I also think that one needs it to remain a individual that is capable of critical thinking.
I mean, my problems arose because I read books without any of this critical thinking and just was like "Oh, yeah, anything that Osho sayes is right and it's very handy that he has an opinion on everything so I don't have to build one myself."

If any of you know Steve Pavlina, I think he wrote a great article about "The War on Ego" in his blog some time ago. It's similar to the very inspiring article mattie posted here (thanks a lot btw.).

I am quite sure that I will be able to create a balance between ego / higher self in my life because I (vainly) tried to live without ego because it is bad and unconcious and so on and this hasn't worked for me / made me unhappy!

One more thing: The reason, why I pointed out Osho in my opening post is that he seemed to be very demanding and a part of me still believes I should do the things he said.
I mean, I still think that he was enlightened and he read more than 10.000 books.
I kind of have so much respect for him that I can't believe that he's wrong.

I guess if he is enlightened and very intelligent and says ego is wrong and I have to get rid of it, isn't he right?

Thanks Community.

[adamkade]

Originally Posted by The Gentleman

Hello beloved Community,

I think I'm in a trouble which many spiritual seekers have experienced.
In former times I had a very big ego. Then I had a depressive episode in my life so I searched for help.
I found that help in spirituality and spiritual books. I started off with Eckhart Tolle and some Zen Books. Then I discovered Osho and read at least 20 books of him.

I quit reading spiritual books half a year ago because I noticed that they brought more confusion than help in my life.

I'm always in a mental fight. I think the things that I'm doing are too egoistic and I shouldn't do them. I'm always thinking about "acting right". Especially Osho talked a lot about how one should behave and I always think I should follow his guidance and should be egoless. Unfortunately life isn't great fun when you live like this.

Had any of you similar experiences and what advise would you give someone who treats spirituality like me?

Thanks a lot, community!

Through the Christ, which is the spirit within we come to know our truth. Through the Christ within we come discern what is right and wrong.

You need to trust your own ability to discern what is true and untrue. Sometimes what is right for others may not be right for ourselves. Life is a pizza, when it arrives simply take of that which you don't like. It sounds as if you have recieved many a pizza and simply eat it the way it came.

Trust yourself, you are wise to put the books down. Books at best tell you what another has found, how another percieves. We all experience the world uniquely, individual. Any that say that theirs is the only perception that matters is diluded. Find your own way. We searh for truth outside of ourselves and become frustrated, and this naturally so. Truth can not be found outside ourselves, there comes a point when the individual has to some turn their spiritual eyes inward.

No person can say: here is the truth or there is truth. No one knows the truth. We see only in part. We stop and say that the patridge is a patridge and then one day we learn to see that the patridge is part of much greater whole. A patridge is is not a partride perhaps.

Just live and trust in your own inner self, let it guide you. Always we are faced with three choices in one moment: do, do not do, or choose not to choose. But in not choosing we choose. Left road, right road, or middle road, the choice is yours.

You are supposing that one way is wrong and the other is right. All roads are the right road. All roads to the same place. Heaven.

Any one that tells you different in incorrect. Though if you belive them to be right and me wrong, then that is your right to choose. We have the right to choose, and we have the right to be wrong. Whats wrong with being wrong? When we make a mistake, we are corrected. to know that as a mistake has been made is often the lesson in itself. It is natural to not want to make the same twice. Our mistakes are our greatest teacher.

Peace. XXX

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