Respect

Today I learned a lesson. To just let things slide by. I will not let another effect me on a personal level. Disrespect is hard to accept in others for me. What are your views on respect? What if someone is disrespectful to you continuously? How do you hande that? If someone is continuously disrespectful towards you and says hurtful things, how do you handle that? Today has not been a great day for me. When someone says something about another that just gets to the core of a person and continues to be disrespectful, what do you do? I think I will just choose the flight response. But disrespect and explaining why it is disrespectful without an apology? What do you guys think about this? I feel like it is pushing me away from 'Being'. Any help? Please.

[Spiritlite]

I earn respect so if someone is disrepectful to me I leave them be.
Spiritlite.

your right. Just leave them be. It just creates more controversy engaging in it. And you feel drained of energy too. Thank you spiritlite.

oh i'm pretty comfortable in my being... (shrug)... i pay it no mind... i've been an 'undesireable' all my adult life... maybe i just have more practice at it...

[Emmalevine]

I don't let disrespect affect me. People are where they are and I know it's nothing to do with me. Sometimes it hurts but I aim to let it go. Disrespect is always the result of people not respecting themselves, as otherwise they would have no reason to treat me badly. Also, someone else's view on what respect is may be different to mine. I don't demand a behaviour from someone with the exceptuon of my son who I am hopefully teaching self respect to. Otherwise, I am pleasant to others and if they are not pleasant back that's really their problem.

Good question. Yes, sometimes fight or flight is the best approach. But I'd add a third option: doing neither; just sitting quietly with the situation and seeing where it takes you. Especially if you are tired, and moke, I'm sensing you are tired? If we haven't slept well, or we're hungry, we can be extra fragile and vulnerable. I find that fresh eyes on full stomach often makes everything look better!

I'm really tired today myself, so bear with me while I ramble.... take what resonates and ignore the rest.

When situations like this happen to me, if I feel my "fur" standing on end (so to speak), I take it as a sign there's a lesson to be learned here. And then I sit with it for awhile. I ask myself, "Was the person's reaction merited? Did I do something wrong? Is there observation of me correct?" If so, then I apologize, and I'm grateful for the lesson they just taught me.

If I didn't do anything wrong, then next I ask, "Did I fail to communicate?" This is, more often than not, my biggest flaw. Sometimes it's simply because I'm typing up a response using my last brain cell and shouldn't even be on the forums. LOL. So I am simply sloppy. But often it's something else: my style of writing.

What I do for a living, for the past 25 years, has me thoroughly trained in a certain style of writing, which can be very hard for me to turn off. This has gotten me into trouble more often than not. My training makes me come across as sounding emphatic and persuasive-- like I am trying to win an argument -- when that is not my intention. But, I can absolutely see how someone might completely misread my tone. So that's not their fault; it's mine.

Likewise, I know I can sometimes misread other people's tone, and inadvertently make assumptions. To avoid this, I practice erring on side of positive and good intentions when I read anyone's words. But still, I make mistakes. The best I can do is correct the mistake as soon as I am aware I made one.

Otherwise, my rule of thumb is "not everyone has to love me." If I don't have enemies and detractors, then I'm probably doing something wrong.

Hope there's something helpful in there! (I should sticky this so I can point people to it every time I stick my foot in my mouth.. .lol).

moke

respectivly, it isn't disrespect that makes you farther away from being, it's your reaction to disrespect.

You got all prickly with me as if i were belittling you when i was only trying to clarify a point. Sometimes things are repeated when dealing with a subject like experience/no experience in different terms because as you are learning language sometimes just doesn't fit the bill. And the more different ways a thing is said the greater the chance of communicating meaning.

When you have a problem with losing it, never look outside, look inward to see why. If you don't like what you see and beat yourself up over it then you will lose your equinimity again.

Last point, there are few, if any, that are infallable, am sure i am not one of them, and suspect you arent either.


Serpent queen, just read your post, thumbs up.

Wording might be the issue. My intent is good, just interpretations, but may not word it correctly. So people might misinterpret what I am saying and the point of my interpretation. And because of it misinterpretations of my intent are made. Causing unnecessary conflict. I guess I assumed that when we write another will automatically think it is just an interpretation. I was wrong. It was not like this when I joined the site. It just happened today. What should I say. I believe this. But what if I've experienced, and say my interpretation is this. Each time a post is made. I will be more careful on my part. It just happened today that is it. I've learned now that it is, unless not. I'll always leave room for interpretation. Now I am aware of that. I will post more carefully. For now, I'll just observe. And be in peace.

Good post serpent queen.
Moke looks like you have a solution.

Bright Blessings

[Spiritlite]

Moke don't let them get you down remember people earn what they get....if that person is disrespectful they'll get their own back also they obviously aren't too happy if they need to pick apart another person.
Spiritlite.